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fashongrl2000 · Jul 31, 2007, 09:43 AM

My Ex Husband and I got divorced last year , but there was never a parenting plan established. I am custodial parent though. My ex has been recently causing more problems, and being manipulative with his kids telling them that they are going to get to talk with someone and choose whom they live with. He won't answer his phone or call me back to discuss anything with me. I know that two months ago he told me that he is taking the children out of state on vacation to see HIS parents in August. I am very nervous that he won't come back because of the strange way he has been acting. Do I have any right to tell him no they can't leave the state... at least until there is a parenting plan?

GlindaofOz · Jul 31, 2007, 09:45 AM

If you have full custody and there is no parental plan I think you can say yes or no to visits.

I may be wrong since my knowledge is limited in this area. But I think you could say no to an out of state trip, however he may just take them on it anyway and say he's taking them to a movie or something.

s_cianci · Aug 1, 2007, 09:23 AM

If there is no court order to the contrary, then no, you don't "have the right" to tell him they can't leave the state. But, you say there is no "parenting plan." Do you mean there is no visitation order? If so, then you don't have to let him see them at all, especially if you fear that he'll kidnap them and take them out of state. Of course, once you pull that ace, be prepared for him to haul you into court to get a visitation ordered established. And be prepared for him to make you look like the "bad guy" for withholding the kids from him. But, if he has no court ordered visitation and you are the custodial parent, then you have all exclusive rights to those children until the court rules otherwise.

MsCrabtree · Aug 5, 2007, 05:55 AM

You have a right to know the contact information where they will be . Confirm it is his parents address. How can he take them anywhere, if you have no contact? You answer his calls, but he doesn't answer yours?? Just don't answer his calls if that's the case. Give him a dose. Seek all you need to know just in case it does turn into a kidnapping case. Seek help from the authorities before he leaves. Get his car tag number, any possible credit card numbers, look at old tax forms for his social security. Have all that handy and seek advice from the authorities just in case.

kharmouzi · Aug 9, 2007, 10:25 AM

As far as a parenting plan goes... you can start establishing that without going to court. Is he paying child support? If so... contact your local Child Support Enforcement Agency and they can help you. If he is acting this strangely I would definitely hesitate allowing him to take the children out of the state (in fact my divorce papers prohibit it without written permission from the other parent).