My wife is the carer of our two nonidentical twins daughters who are both seven old respectfully. I am no longer in a relationship with my wife, because of her addiction to alcohol. I had my own problems with alcohol some years back but got help through
Alcohol services and I have been sober four years now. We have three older children
Who are all adults now, and there is a thirteen-year gap between our last child and the twins. Our relationship with alcohol was present in the lives of our first three children,
Although the bad problems did not manifest until they were much older. On numerous
Occasions in the past I did stop drinking, but my wife continued to drink, which made it
Difficult for me to stay stopped. In 1999, my wife became pregnant with the twin girls initially she wanted an abortion but change her mind when she was told about them being
Twins. At the time, realistically we both were not fit enough to have more children, we were both drinking heavily and thing were falling apart around our ears. The fact that my
Wife knew she was pregnant with our daughters did not deter her from drinking; despite my protest it did not stop. When the girls were born we could not honestly cope what with our problems with alcohol. Not so long after, Social Service became involved and the girls were put on the at risk register this eventually changed to them wanting the girls
Put into interim care. I worked fast to stop this, and asked the help of my family who got involved. In the end the girls were place on supervision orders by the court the orders were for one year. During that year I got into detox and rehab, and like I said I have been
Sober since that time. This is not the case of my wife who has continually drunk she has never stopped. She is functional though, i.e. the children go to school and are presentable
But this is the cunning side of alcoholism. Her drinking is mainly when the children are
Asleep, but it does not change the fact that she drunk. I cannot foresee her ever stopping.
I am not looked at, as an alternate carer of my daughters, because I have not been sober for five years, so if anything might happen the girls would go into care! Both the girls have suffered medical problems prebirth because of her drinking. If I could I would try to take charge of them myself? I know I would probably need help with this but I am fed up with history repeating it’s self and my wife’s continual abuse. I love my girls very
Much but I am ashamed of their mother. They don’t deserver or need this in their young lives. I have thought about them going to another family where they would have a better
Life. Its sounds cruel but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I just do not really
Know what to do for them for the best; it is their future, which is important It is sad and
A shame but the cycle has to be broken somehow someway. I am looking for some genuine advice and guidance with this difficult situation please!

Regards

Nick Barfoot

Hi, Nick,
Congratulations on 4 years, without Alcohol; just one day a time time. I am a friend of Bill W. also.
It is really hard seeing your children grow up in this atmosphere, and they will, somewhat, suffer the consequences.
Have you considered talking with a Lawyer? If you can't have custody, or can't take care of the children yourself, a Lawyer can guide you on what to do... maybe finding a new home for them.
I am not a Lawyer, nor a Child Care Professional; just a person who has seen his share of Alcoholism and what it can do to families, especially children.
You are a very loving father, and it shows in your question. Your children would be very, very lucky to be living with you. But, please contact a Lawyer, one who is experienced with Child Custody, and see what can be done.
I do wish you the very best of luck.