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linds312 · Jan 14, 2009, 12:37 PM

I'm in one complicated, messed up situation.

I was dating a guy for about 2 years, who has 2 kids already. I ended up getting pregnant & he suggested I get an abortion. There is no way I could ever do this! He said he understood and he hoped I was ready to get married because he didn't want another child out of wedlock and so on. Well, the mother of his other kids found out I was pregnant and flipped. Apparently they were together the whole time me & him were and he lied to me and her both. The two of them just recently got married and have tried their best to make my life a living hell. They have tried to turn a lot of my friends on me and they talk bad about me. When I don't feel like I'm the bad person here, HE IS!! I haven't talked to him in a few months. Just the other day he called and said he wanted to know when we could do a paternity test... After a lot of thought - I really don't want to have to deal with him for the next 18 years of my life. I think the two of them would tell my child I'm a bad mother. And honestly, I wouldn't trust them with him. My question is - Do I have to let him take a paternity test? I don't care about the money for child support. I don't want to have to deal with him! And I don't think he really wants to be in the child's life. I think if I told him how I felt then he would definitely want a test done, just to spite me.:confused:

JudyKayTee · Jan 14, 2009, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by linds312

I'm in one complicated, messed up situation.

I was dating a guy for about 2 years, who has 2 kids already. I ended up getting pregnant & he suggested I get an abortion. There is no way I could ever do this! He said he understood and he hoped I was ready to get married because he didn't want another child out of wedlock and so on. Well, the mother of his other kids found out I was pregnant and flipped. Apparently they were together the whole time me & him were and he lied to me and her both. The two of them just recently got married and have tried their best to make my life a living hell. They have tried to turn a lot of my friends on me and they talk bad about me. When I don't feel like I'm the bad person here, HE IS!!! I haven't talked to him in a few months. Just the other day he called and said he wanted to know when we could do a paternity test... After a lot of thought - I really don't want to have to deal with him for the next 18 years of my life. I think the two of them would tell my child I'm a bad mother. And honestly, I wouldn't trust them with him. My question is - Do I have to let him take a paternity test? I don't care about the money for child support. I don't want to have to deal with him!! And I don't think he really wants to be in the child's life. I think if I told him how I felt then he would definitely want a test done, just to spite me.:confused:

You can't cut a father who wants to be a father out of the child's life because he's a bad person to you. If he's a danger to the child, yes, you can go to Court and ask for no visitation or supervised visitation.

So when the baby is born and he wants a paternity test, he can go to Court and request one. You don't have to simply consent because he wants the testing done. When he goes to Coirt to get the DNA ordered, you go and ask for support.

And, unfortunately, you are tied to him for minimally the next 18 years.

There is no legal action over talking bad about someone.

And once again - two women, one man, and the women (apparently) turn on each other. She and you should kick his tail to the curb.

southerngalps · Jan 14, 2009, 12:45 PM

That sums it up. If you don't want to willingly let him have a paternity test, then he can go to the Court and have one ordered.

And if he wants visitation, then he will get that requested too!