My youngest daughter is 29 years old. She has a 2.5 year old and 4 month old> We live
4 blocks from each other, my son lives 2 blocks from me. My daughter and I talk to
Each other at least twice a day.

The problem is I am always disappointing her. No matter how hard I try, I am always
Doing something to aggravate her. She is very protective of her children. I have only
Had them overnite one time even though I have raised her and her siblings and been
A caregiver. My son on the other hand drops his kids off like they are newspapers :*) and I love it. I love all of the grandkids. When I do have the opportunity to babysit for her kids, I get instructions ( on paper lists ). It is as if I were a 10 year old babysitting for the first time.

My daughter has repeatedly expressed her feelings that I am never there for her. I
Don't get it. My husband died in 1994. She was 13. I put my whole life on hold,
Never dated, just concentrated on being both a mom and a dad for my kids. I have
A business that has taken a dive this past 18 months. I have had to work long hours
But have never turned my daughter down when she has asked for my help. I have
Rearranged, juggled my time, you name it just to accommodate her.

Recently, I asked her when I could stop by to drop off a few things. Her reply
Was "when you have time, mom". I don't bug her when my son-in-law is home.
I know that is family time. It seems like I am always on call but even that is not
Good enough.

Yesterday I told her I had to stop at my office, do some things and that I would
Stop by afterwards. I was on my way back home at 3pm when she called. "I
thought you were coming over"? I am, I said. "Well forget about it now mom,
it's too late. I'm just so tired of you always hurting my feelings". I told her
That I was sorry but I didn't know I had time restraints. She said she just
Couldn't talk to me for awhile and that she was hanging up. This morning I
Called her twice and she did not answer. She has removed me as her friend
On Facebook. I don't get it. The disrespect is what hurts the most. I am
Almost 62 years old and I am torn in so many directions. No matter what I
Do, I am always in the doghouse for something.

We are supposed to go to the zoo this week. So now what?

I think that your daughter has some deep resentments that you need to really address. I know a lot of people don't always l ike counseling but I think that you would benefit from it. Getting to the root of what her problems are could very easily resolve some of this behavior.
Maybe she's the oldest and she was always responsible for her siblings, maybe she didn't like something that happened when you were raising her and doing your best. WHO KNOWS but her.
Maybe she is just a brat and needs to understand that her behavior is hurting you and you have boundaries too and until she treats you better you are not going to be the door mat of her life.
I really think that it couldn't hurt to maybe first sit down with her and ask her what it is and an we please discuss it and get help to learn to give eah other what we need. Good Luck

You said she have a 4 month old daughter? Do you think she is overwhelmed, post partum depression? That could be the case. Is she going through something? I say have a talk with her and ask her why is she so cold these days. Maybe that is what she need. A good mother daughter talk. I know having kids are hard and she have two kids under the age of three.

People never truly know what they have until it's gone. My mom passed away when I was 14 and I would die for a mother now. It's a shame that your daughter treats you this way. Let her know how you feel.

It's been a few years since you posted this, how is your relationship now? I've been devastated that our daughter did this to me too. I have tried everything that I can think of. Now I am trying to learn to live without her in my life but I really wish it would get better.