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ralmoy · Jul 27, 2004, 06:51 PM

My daughter who is 16 years old just called me. She was really mad because she found out that I was going to take her mother to court to get some overpaid child support back. I have two kids with my new wife andI can not make ends meet. She said I would never see her or her sister if I sued their mother. I feel like I have already lost them. She said her mother was having a hard time and could not afford to give back any money. Not that it is my business. But, her new husband and her have a new house, new home theater and has spent $20,000.00 trying to get have another baby for him. I still live in an apartment and have no money. I am the bad guy?? She cheated on me and left me with nothing. I have had to struggle ever since. I love my daughters but, they have been brain washed. I miss them!

Jahiem28 · Jul 29, 2004, 11:25 PM

HI Yes mom has been doing some brain washing. I know you love your daughter but you have a obligation to take care of your family. Parent turn kids against one another all the time. You have to do what right. There is never any winners in cases like this but u have to live and support your family GOOD LUCK

Scorpio848 · Jul 30, 2004, 07:59 AM

I say take the witch for everything you can!! You're daughters will get over it eventually. Sounds like they don't much care for you anyway. When they are adults they will have a mind of their own and they will see how manipulative their mother was. Adults don't fool children for long. In the mean time, sue the crap out of her. Make her have to sell the home entertainment center, hawk her jewlery, take a second on the house...
Lol
I am so vindictive. ;D
Seriously, get your money back. Isn't it enough that she took everything else?

Scorpio

ralmoy · Jul 30, 2004, 12:11 PM

Scorpio848 and Jahiem28

Thanks for the feedback. It was her birthday yesterday and she did not answer my call until 10:00 pm. Then she only talked to me a few minutes. See their mom moved to Nebraska from jersey and took them. I agreed because the kids would have a better life down there. My ex also said that she would fly them down every summer and all holidays. Well, no summer and now she said no Holidays this year. When I asked why? Her answer! No MONEY! The kids don't seem to want to come anyway. Still keeping hope. I love them so very much. :-[

Scorpio848 · Jul 30, 2004, 03:23 PM

Never give up. No matter how discouraging your sittuation seems. Later in life, the kids will see that you never gave up. Send letters often. Call as often as you can. Never forget a birthday and continue to ask for them. If the wife has no money to send them for the holidays, then do what you can to pay for it yourself. I know that is easier said than done. We just had to postpone my boyfriends daughters visit for the summer because of the same thing. No Money! But, we are going to try extra hard to get her out by Christmas. I wish you all the luck in the world. In the mean time. Buy a lottery ticket! :)

Scorpio

casstiff · Sep 4, 2004, 10:05 PM

BRAINWASHING... BOY do I know about that one! My ex. Has my 2-girls wanting me dead! In 5yrs I have been in court over 150 times over her crap. Fathers day,birthdays, xmas, whatever... no phone calls. When I am able to talk to them all I hear is MOM needs more $$$. They live in a new 5-ac. Home,cars trucks,eat-out all the time. I miss my girls sooooo much, I feel like I can't go on, 2yrs ago I even had a small heart attack. I Know in time the girls will see what kind of person there mom and new " DAD " is,But till then its killing me. With every thing she has done I now can be the one to take her to court, But I don't feel that would be the best thing for my girls...

liucong1984 · Oct 20, 2004, 07:56 AM

You should spend more time in exchanging ideas with your daughter. And you are supposed to become more open-minded and stand her kinds of behaviours . Maybe in the past you can't bear your daughter's behaviours
And always quarrel with her. So your daughter don't want tell you anything and hate you. Therefore, you should change your mind and try to talk with your daughter more often. She will realize you have changed. I think this situation will change if you make a effort!

mike145k · Jun 28, 2005, 09:26 PM

Well its simple sell them your sperm and that way she can have a baby and it would be a real sister or brother to the kids and the hubby will be happy because everybody is happy.

dragnflyangell · Jun 29, 2005, 06:21 AM

I am going through kind of the same thing and I have to believe when they get older they will see what kind of person they are and realize that they were wrong about you and only want what's best for them. Good Luck

Matt3046 · Mar 30, 2007, 09:12 PM

Yeah you are in a particularly bad spot, but let me tell you one thing that might help.
I have a four year old and I am going through all the same fighting with her mom (but I am not giving an inch) But anyway here is the good (or bad) news, I am also raising my 15 year old niece (mother [my sister] dead father the kind of worthless wast of life that makes all fathers look bad) and let me tell you about teenage girls, they hate you half the time, and they love you half the time. There is no in between, but they know who their father is. I think it is allot just the age (although your ex has no business involving them.) Just wait and try to take care of yourself.

vlee · Mar 30, 2007, 10:42 PM

You know your daughter is giving you a hard time, but you also know that it is on mom's behalf. Every time she wants something she is probably told, "Well, you could have it if your dad weren't trying to sue me!" She is still a kid, and she places her anger on the easiest target, which is you because mom says it's your fault and you aren't there to defend yourself. There may not be much you can do by phone, especially if you don't get a word in edgewise. Try writing to your daughters. Don't go into details or dollar figures, but explain that you too are struggling, and you have been fair and paid all you can, and allowed them to move with their mom to spare them a court battle and to allow their mom to be happy. You may not see instant results, but I think at some point they will want to repair their relationship with you. Just be honest without being accusatory or sounding bitter. Be sincere in asking them to try to understand your circumstances. Don't make any negative comments about their mom now or in the future. One day they'll know who was worried about them, and who was worried about looking better than the other parent.

Matt3046 · Mar 31, 2007, 05:42 AM

Yes V, people should try to never speak bad about a child's other parent, (it is degrading to the child, as you are rejecting the feelings that they have) Also the children never need to know about the legal aspects of these things.

simpleton58 · Sep 16, 2011, 10:11 AM

I'm dealing with the same thing. My Daughter is 17 now but we were divorced when she was 10. Her Mom cheated on me and married the guy she was cheating on me with (My Daughters best friendds Uncle). I had the only Lawyrer in the divorce and still gave her Mom everything so that she would be taken care. Yet somehow I'm the bad guy and she barely talks to me. I've told hger everything and yet she still doesn't believe me and told me that the child support is her Mom's money. I basically gave up at that point but make a habit of texting her every other week to let her know I love and miss her. So I guess I'm telling you that you have to do what's best for you, but continue to let her know you love her. I've been told (and hope) that she will eventually come around to the truth. Good luck because it kills me every day that the person I love so much could basically turn their back on you. Have faith... because that's all we cn do.