I have a child who is almost 9. He has had a hard time making friends. I've recently encouraged him to invite friends to play. I got a phone call from another mother at the school who is having the same issues and thought we should encourage our children to play. She asked that my son come over after school. He went to there house, had a wonderful time. He was really excited about us asking his friend to come to our house. A few weeks later we invited the friend over. His first comment to my son was "do you have a basement?". I really ignored the comment and went about my business cleaning and picking up, and making dinner. A little later I heard him said "you all live in this little space together". You could tell my son was a little discourage and embarissed by the child's comments. I made them dinner and as we were eating the child said "it's like you all live in a little box or trailer or something." Now granted our house isn't huge, I've been a single mom for 5 years I bought what I could afford. And both my children have there own rooms. I've taken pride in the fact I could buy something. And being only 1100 square feet, it is much bigger then the 750 foot place we rented for almost 4 years. I finally just spoke up and said "this is what we can afford right now". I guess I was just in shock that a 9 year old would be so materialistic and make my son feel ashamed of his house. I've done so much to try to make it nice, it's always clean (I'm a little OCD), and the appliances, carpet etc are all new with in the last 2 years... I've made it home as much as possible.
I want my child to have friends, but I'm not sure this is the friend for him if he is going to be so materialistic and rude?? Should I keep encouraging the friendship?? I'm just very blown away at the fact that these are 9 year olds. And the fact that even though his family has a lot that they haven't taught him to respect what others don't have. Any thoughts??

I think you are right on target and this is a great opportunity for you to talk to your son about how bad you feel for this little boy. It sounds like he has been raised to put more value on things instead of people. My dad always said there will always be some one with more money than us and someone with less. It's not about what you have but how you serve others with it. If your son likes him perhaps have him over again but talk to your son about how to respond. These are such great teachable moments for you to share your values. I'm sure your kids know you value them more than you do "things". I hope that helps.

PS. That was my wife, who did not realize her computer was signed on to my username. :)

I am not sure if this child could be a friend to any one. It is a shame that some children feel that they have to "own things " to be valued.
After you have your talk with your child maybe you could both decide if he wants to try to make a friend of this child. The most important thing here is your child's feelings, not any lessons he could teach some one else.