Originally Posted by spency
It is easy to see that you are near the 'snapping' point as you say. But, from what I've read, you need to get a grip on disciplining this young boy, before things get worse. He, won't 'snap' out of it. He needs good, consistent parenting.
The minute you raise your hand to 'beat him' and 'punish him', you should be able to realize that it is you, not him, out of control. If your only options when he starts fires are to react the way you do, which is essentially not dealing with the issues, is really asking for more of the same. If this is unchecked, your son will get worse, not better.
He needs to be assessed, by a professional who can observe and test him. What he is doing may not have anything to do with just pissing you off to get his own way, but motivated by emotions, fears, and needs (that are not being met). That, in my opinion, is the place to start.
You want to send him to boot camp, I take to mean that you are at the end of your rope, and/or, you want somebody else to take over and 'fix' him.
You need to step up, as a mother, and figure out what is going on with this kid, and when you know, you need to learn, with help, how to manage his behaviour without always resorting to the last resort, which is physical punishment. From how you have described him, I doubt that simply taking away his toys, or going to church, will resolve anything.
He is starting fires! Even that one factor alone should be big enough alarm bells to get him to a professional. It's a very poor excuse to say that you can't get counselling because you couldn't find one that fit your schedule.
This isn't about you, it's about him. Parenting is hard work. Do what you need to do to to help him. Knock on doors, get an assessment done, follow any suggestions i.e. parenting classes, etc. Be prepared to assume that what is going on with your son, is going to require a lot of hard work.
Put your needs aside, and put your son's needs, first.