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HRAMY2009 · Feb 25, 2009, 05:39 AM

My son's father was only involved in his life while he was 9 months to 12 months. My son is now 5 1/2 and his father is back. I introduced them and they've seen each other about 2 times per month for the past few months. My son loved it at first, but now is saying that he was doing fine without a daddy and doesn't want to see him. He says that his father is too tall and that he wants a daddy who is my height (which of course is an excuse for something else that he is feeling). I can't seem to get out of him how he is feeling.

How do you reintroduce an absent father into the picture? How do I get them to have a good relationship? This is totally frustrating. My son is having some obvious effects from this whole situation, such as acting up in school.

Thanks for any advice. :)

DoulaLC · Feb 25, 2009, 06:18 AM

Are they spending time alone? If so, that may be an issue... after all, they are virtually strangers right now. Would it be possible for you to have some visits all together... spending an afternoon at the park for example, going out for something eat, etc..
It would give your son some time to get to know his father more and become more comfortable spending time with him.
His father might also want to, if he isn't already, send letters, e-mail, phone calls once inawhile to maintain some contact in between visits. Take things slowly so the encounters will likely become more comfortable.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2009, 07:03 AM

And it could be so many other things, what are they doing together, what is his parenting skills

My son who is an advanced martial arts person ( he is 8) all of a sudden last Friday said he hated martial arts and did not want to ever go back to class, he cried when we were going to makehi go.

It turns out that a new kid in class ( was just there for two classes so far) was always saying smart remarks back to the instructor and bothering everyone in class.

That was all it took for him to lose it and never want to go back

IN most cases supervised visits though a outside agency, most areas have centers where supervised visits can be conducted.

Also counseling for parents and child.

HRAMY2009 · Feb 25, 2009, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Are they spending time alone? If so, that may be an issue....after all, they are virtually strangers right now. Would it be possible for you to have some visits all together....spending an afternoon at the park for example, going out for something eat, etc..
It would give your son some time to get to know his father more and become more comfortable spending time with him.
His father might also want to, if he isn't already, send letters, e-mail, phone calls once inawhile to maintain some contact in between visits. Take things slowly so the encounters will likely become more comfortable.

Thanks for your suggestions. I am always there when they are together. He calls in between visits and comes to son's soccer games and swim classes. I guess it will get better...