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    mexigirl's Avatar
    mexigirl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Nov 15, 2005, 05:14 PM
    My 8 year old daughter won't eat
    Every dinner is a battle.. anyone have any advise on this..
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member

    Nov 15, 2005, 05:52 PM
    Couple of questions...

    Does she get a dessert afterwards? Or any other form of treat?

    Make a deal with her... she eats dinner and she gets to plat with XXX or have a pice of cake or something she likes.

    If she doesn't eat dinner, she loses out on the enjoyable activity.
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member

    Nov 15, 2005, 05:54 PM
    At age 8, she's got habits and so do you.

    Am I guessing right that she'll only eat what she wants and when she wants?

    I went through this (I've got 6 kids) a couple years ago.

    It took them going to bed hungry a few times before they got the hint that what we have for dinner is dinner.

    We're long past it now. When it's dinnertime, everyone eats.

    ... hope it doesn't sound to harsh :o
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,000, Reputation: 10852

    Nov 15, 2005, 07:09 PM
    She won't eat
    Without having a lot of facts I would venture this is a control/manipulation thing.Kids eat when there hungry and if their diet is correct they always ready to eat.If this is a powerplay ,a few evenings of no dinner will take care of that.(no dinner no dessert) was the rule in my house,but my kids ate like horses all the time .Be firm but keep an eye on this one closely, and send more facts.
    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
    Full Member

    Nov 15, 2005, 07:55 PM
    Went through the same thing with my daughter, she was around 5 @ the time. Well, let's just say that she is going full steam ahead every since then. Her thing was DRINK. She loved juice and soda. I know it's not healthy but if she wouldn't eat, I wouldn't give her anything to drink. It is amazing how much willpower they have @ that age but eventually after going to bed hungry and thirsty a few times, she learned what to do. Her dinner plates started very small but then they gradually grew. Now, I'm going through the same thing with my son. Luckily for me I've been down this road.
    Good Luck!
    PrettyLady's Avatar
    PrettyLady Posts: 2,765, Reputation: 332

    Nov 16, 2005, 06:19 PM
    Rick, you have a beautiful family. This thread takes me back to when I was a little girl. When I was 8 years old I would play with my food rather than eat it. My siblings would eat their dinner and leave the table, but I was still sitting there looking at my dinner. My father use to tell me to eat my dinner that there was starving kids in China who don't have a lot to eat. So, I told my father that the kids in China could have my dinner, however, he made sure that I ate it. Now I have a 5 year old niece who won't eat her dinner, and sometimes I would sit next to her and try to get her to eat. When that doesn't work, I would promise her a snack or let her play dress up with my clothes and shoes if she finishes her dinner. And it works every time she's over my house.
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member

    Nov 17, 2005, 04:16 AM
    Dinnertime is still not perfect in our house... the kids are not bashful about saying they don't like something... but they eat.

    Truth is, it only took 2-3 times, over a couple weeks, going to bed hungry for them to get it. And they've learned that some things they thought they hated are not so bad after all.

    And we are kind about it: We don't make foods that we know most of them dislike... and make an honest effort to make stuff we know they all like.

    Unfortunately pointing out the starving kids of the world just doesn't sink in for them. :o

    And you wisely point out to: Sometimes bribery works too. :p
    serialwife's Avatar
    serialwife Posts: 117, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 17, 2005, 07:34 PM
    We had this problem with my god daughter. If you only put a small portion on the plate and tell them they only have to eat a certain portion they usually do okay. We would tell Emilyne that if she at 3 chicken nuggets, 2 bites of carrots, and 3 bites of potatoes she could be excused. We gradually upped the number of bites. She will eat about anything now. Plus it helps if there are no distractions if the TV was on or people were coming and going she was often too distracted to eat. The key is not to excuse the child until they take X number of bites.
    momincali's Avatar
    momincali Posts: 641, Reputation: 242
    Senior Member

    Nov 17, 2005, 07:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mexigirl
    Every dinner is a battle..anyone have any advise on this..
    Can you give us a little more information? A battle as in she won't eat veggies, or she complains about the food, what is it? Was she a good eater before? Did something change like a new school or maybe having problems in school, new family member (a baby) or is there a physical reason like she might have a stomach ache??
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
    Senior Member

    Nov 25, 2005, 12:13 PM
    Not going to take it
    I have this problem with my five year old too. She will tell me she's hungry like every five seconds but if I give her something to eat then I have to give her my evil mommy look and she pouts. I found out when she says I'm hungry it really means I want candy. Maybe you should practice your evil mommy look in the mirror and then test it out. It wrks on men too.
    lilfyre's Avatar
    lilfyre Posts: 508, Reputation: 98
    Senior Member

    Nov 26, 2005, 12:21 PM
    Does she eat at other times? It is hard to answer a question with so little information. Bulimia and anorexia can start at such an early age, have you spoke with your pediatrician about this matter?
    mommaveloso's Avatar
    mommaveloso Posts: 22, Reputation: 6
    New Member

    Jan 26, 2006, 02:19 AM
    I also have an 8 yr old who will not eat.. but I went about a different route for mine.. I didn't do the NO DINNER thing.. I did however trick her to eat.. from the time she was walking she would fight us at the table to not eat.. so we just stopped puttin her at the table.. she would run around playing and be so busy in her own little world that we would stop her and make her take a bite of what was on our plate. And she would eat it, because it was off our plate.. THIS IS NOT WHAT I RECOMEND.. but it worked for us. I don't like forcin my kids to eat.. the pedi always told us.. they will eat when they are hungry.. but mine.. would never get hungry it seemed. So I had to work around her. She eats at the table with us now.. but she still don't eat much. She isn't quite a veggie only.. but she won't eat meat.. unless it is a hot dog, or spam, or some other processed meat.. no real meat though.. I have even had to get veggie burgers and veggie nuggets for her. She loves them. Her meals are usually 1/2 of the normal 8 yr olds. And she drinks TONS of milk. She isn't a sweet eater, or a soda drinker.. just a picky eater with a small appitite. I AM JUST TELLIN U MY END.. AND WHAT I DID... PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS AS A RECOMENDATION. :) not everyone parents their kids the same. And please don't judge me for the way I did it.:)
    manutd4eva's Avatar
    manutd4eva Posts: 209, Reputation: 14
    Full Member

    Jan 26, 2006, 09:25 AM
    Like some people have said don't force them it won't make it any better. I hardly eat anything but the more people keep on the less I will eat (ok I'm 14 but same princible) if I am hungry I will probably eat depending on what it is - if I'm not I won't so just do the kid(s) a couple of meals they like for the next week or something like 1 really niuce meal they love every dinner/tea time and they will eat if they are hungry.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691

    Jan 26, 2006, 10:33 AM
    Kids in general are not going to starve to death.

    If weight or health is an issue see a medical professional

    Eating, no snacks at all between lunch and dinner, do no allow any desert any snacks after supper, going to bed hungry a few times does not hurt anyone. If they are eating plenty at breakfeast and lunch,? Does it really hurt if she is getting all the needed food.

    But I bet if snacks are done away with, dinner will look a lot better.

    Now I am also a realist, not everyone likes the same food. So if she does not like a few certaina things, let her have another option for dinner.

    But this is almost a every day issue for some child eveywhere
    manutd4eva's Avatar
    manutd4eva Posts: 209, Reputation: 14
    Full Member

    Jan 26, 2006, 01:11 PM
    Try letting her pick a meal and say she can have that when she eats another meal of your choice 1st so
    Monday: your choice
    Wednesday: yours
    Thurs:hers etc

    Then go
    Monday+tuesday: yours
    Wednesday hers
    Thurs+frid: yours

    And get less and less and eventually have it back to how it was.
    spirit_contacter's Avatar
    spirit_contacter Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Feb 18, 2006, 07:39 AM
    If your daughter won't eat, it may be because she actually isn't hungry. I know this because I am that way sometimes, and my mom gets worried. It's actually because I eat to late of a breakfast, and then eat lunch, I'm just not that hungry. If your daughter doesn't eat anything at all, that could be unhealthy, and I, personally, would talk to her, and then take her to a docter. I hope this helps! :)
    jjlkjkl's Avatar
    jjlkjkl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 8, 2007, 07:43 AM
    You guys are all so funny. You act like there is one easy fix like they go to bed hungry a few times and that is all it takes. I have news for you. Maybe that worked for your child but you obviously have a child that cares. We have been doing this since the day this kid was born and dinner is served and put away and the rules are there is nothing more if not eaten. He knows that, doesn't complain and doesn't ask for anything but he still won't eat. Now we are to the point that after not eating dinner half the week I am starting to think that is just not OK. We go out for treats on purpose so he can learn a lesson. He doesn't complain he knows that's the consequence. It doesn't matter even when he is doubled over with hunger pains.
    sergie's Avatar
    sergie Posts: 149, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member

    Jul 23, 2009, 02:07 AM

    seeing everybody's expression here, I decided to give mine as well, hmmm, well, the answers have been already given, but yes, a good treat after the meal is the best bait for kids or a good story after the dinner. Luring them to eat, is the best way for parents I believe. Luckily, I don't have to do anything, my kid eats almost anything put on the table.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jul 25, 2009, 05:23 AM

    I use to eat only when I was hungry and didn't like a lot of foods. By the time I was in my later teens and into my 20's I loved junk food.

    Make sure what she does eat is healthy. NO junk foods especially between meals.
    Eating a small bag of chips can ruin your appetite.

    My sons refused to eat and they only had about a dozen things they would eat.

    Eventually they get out of the stage(s).
    As long as she is healthy and not losing weight she should be fine.
    Sending her to bed without letting her have junk food and bedtime snacks throughout the day should help as the others said about going to bed hungry should make her want to start eating dinner.

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