21 year old problem son lives at home
Asked Nov 8, 2009, 12:43 AM
My 21 year old son won't leave the nest. He has a part time (2 days a week if that) job. He's registered oncollege but takes meaningless coarses like swimming and a guitar class. Now he dosesnt even go. He has a cell phone on my account and I've told him, you don't pay the bill you don't have a phone. He's skipped out on two months now and has only given me $20. He owes now $140. I'm turning off his phone. But my issue is that while I've told him if you stay at home you work and/or go to school he doesn't He doesn't pay rent because he can't afford it. But won't get a second job. He got into law trouble and has a $100 bill to pay to probation and is 3 months behind. He will start to do laundry and just recently left, called home to have his 10 year old brother put it in the dryer. And never came back. I call him on ALL of the rules he breaks and all I get is denial and excuses. I constantly ask him to do things Around the house and moe excuses. Sorry Mom. My bad. I forgot. I won't do it again. He has a G/F whom I can't stAnd and she's not allowed at the house. So the last time he didn't do what I ask of him I told him to go stay with her. I don't expect a lot from him but he's a bad influence on my younger boys. 15 and 10. When I've ask him to leave before he manages to make promises he doesn't keep and mAnipulates his way back in. He throws fit when held accountabe for his actions and IM DONE! He refuses to be accountable and responsible. I've tried talking, begging , pleading, everything you can think of. Consequences don't work. He just argues, blames, and makes more excuses for not handling his "business". What do I do?? Please help me. On top of all that, I'm my 85 yr old grandmothers caregiver. She has the same mannerisms he does. Denial, excuses, manipulation. So my plate is rather full with all this stuff.