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johnson8899 · Jun 13, 2010, 05:01 PM

My 15 year old daughter left home to live with her dad. She said she hates me and doesn't talk to me at all unless she needs money for something. I have rules at my house and she didn't want to follow them. She gets to do whatever she wants at his house. He's never home any way and I now find out that she's staying at his ex-girlfriends house and he doesn't even talk to the ex so how can he find out what my daughter is doing. One reason he doesn't want her at his house is because he's still paying child support and he doesn't want to financially support her at all. This way he doesn't have to. What can I do? I don't know how to get her back or stop her from going to the ex-girlfriends house. I don't have thousands of dollars for a lawyer. I've already spent all my money fighting him in court for the divorce and custody.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 13, 2010, 05:09 PM

Several things, of course he still has to pay support with her living at his house, unless he takes you back to court, gets custody changed officially and gets support changed.

So unless he goes back to court, he still has to send that check every month no matter where she is at.

*** I know that one first hand a personal.

Next, just order her to return home, turn her into juv services to force her to if she refuses to come home. Take ex back to court for contempt if he does not make her return home.

Chaplain_Kay · Sep 19, 2010, 03:56 AM

I am in the same situation. My lawyers, counselor, pastor, and many others have all advised me the same thing. They tell me the more I push or make an issue of it, the more she will rebel, and the more she will dig her heals in and insist on staying with her dad. They advise me to give her time and give her space, eventually she will come back. Think about this: Do you really want her ordered home against her will, kicking and screaming? Probably not. You want her to want to come home. It's hard to see your child make wrong choices, but this is how she will learn to become an independent adult. Allow her the freedom to learn from her mistakes. Be thankful that she is safe and that you know where she is, and that she's fed and has a roof over her head. And trust that you've taught her well and given her a good foundation. Those values you have instilled in her are a part of who she is, and they will remain with her. In time, she will likely return to the source of that good foundation--you.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 19, 2010, 06:49 AM

Yes, kicking and screaming, she is a child, acting childish and needs to be treated as such if needed.

EX, explain to him that he will end up in jail, interference with custody if he does not bring her back. If he understands he can be in contept of court and more for keeping her, and he still has to pay, he will not want to keep her either. He is just looking for a way out of support.