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    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 18, 2019, 12:04 PM
    Is it Social Anxiety or not?
    Hi, I'm 15 and I've been wondering for some time if I have social anxiety or not? I've have done all the reading and research possible and many things define me but I still can't be sure. I feel awkward, shy, and nervous around people. I am scared of talking to people and communicating. I don't eat in public or in school, I avoid talking to people and when I do have to talk, I feel very nervous and like I don't belong. I can't seem to be able to talk to anyone or hold a conversation. I secretly feel like everyone in my class hates me and thinks I'm awkward. I feel tears come to my eyes when someone criticizes me in any way and I always feel that if I do say something, I will make a fool of myself, be embarrassed and then everybody will laugh at me. I am shy and I prefer being left alone but I also want someone to talk to me and try because I can be fun once you get to know me. I hate attention and when I have to talk to someone I'm scripting everything in my mind but when the time comes, I wimp out. I'm scared of meeting people, getting judged, being laughed at and I overthink everything. I had my middle school graduation party this year and weeks before the party I was worrying and creating the worse scenarios in my head. I overthink many things and I hate it loads. I know that my worrying is irrelevant and completely useless also irrational but I can't help myself. I want to talk to someone about this and ask but I can't even do that because I'm scared of the outcome. Can anyone please help me answer my question because I am really restless.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,108, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Sep 18, 2019, 12:23 PM
    Sounds like teen ager angst and happens all the time not just you. If it is that serious though talking to a responsible adult like your parents, teachers school counsellors or even your family doctor for the best information about what you're going through and the best ways to deal with it.

    Most of us out grow it as we get older, more experienced and build more confidence in ourselves, and more secure about just being yourself. Heck everybody has issues.
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 18, 2019, 12:26 PM
    Thank you but I'm still not sure what to do. Coul you explain a bit?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #4

    Sep 18, 2019, 12:51 PM
    I'm wondering if you're on the autism spectrum. Social anxiety is the #1 characteristic. You sound very much like my son who was finally diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (high-functioning, very smart, but socially fearful). Do you also have sensory issues like with sudden loud noises, tastes and smells you hate, irritating clothing labels, etc.?
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 18, 2019, 01:54 PM
    No, I don't think so. I'm just very socially awkward and troubled. Any way you can direct me?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #6

    Sep 18, 2019, 02:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mahef127 View Post
    No, I don't think so. I'm just very socially awkward and troubled. Any way you can direct me?
    Are you a psychiatrist who deals with autism diagnoses? Please don't self diagnosis. Go to a qualified therapist and describe what you're going through. Maybe your school counselor is a good place to start. :)
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 19, 2019, 10:52 AM
    I live in Turkey and have not fluent in the language so talking to a counselor will just make me feel tenser since it will be harder to talk to her.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #8

    Sep 19, 2019, 10:58 AM
    What is your native language?
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 20, 2019, 01:00 PM
    Urdu but I prefer English. I am very fluent in English.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #10

    Sep 20, 2019, 01:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mahef127 View Post
    Urdu but I prefer English. I am very fluent in English.
    Hindi too?

    Counselors in Turkey don't speak English?
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Sep 20, 2019, 03:09 PM
    Nope. Unfortunately
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #12

    Sep 20, 2019, 04:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mahef127 View Post
    Nope. Unfortunately
    You need to talk with a professional about this or with someone to work out a strategy for socializing. What's available for you? In person? Via the Internet?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,108, Reputation: 10852
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    #13

    Sep 21, 2019, 06:18 AM
    I can certainly understand better how the language barrier and being in a different culture could send normal anxieties in a hyper state. Would a tutor or instructor be possible to help bridge that gap? Just being able to communicate and comprehend others around you may be the confidence boost you need, and give you a specific goal to focus on.

    How long have you been in this particular country, and this particular school?
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Sep 23, 2019, 01:07 PM
    I've been in the country for two years and I only just started high school so I'm in a completely different school. The thing is I am trying to socialize a bit in this school and am trying to communicate but in my last school I was a total outcast. I didn't talk, I didn't eat, I just sat on my chair and stared ahead like a statue or robot, deep in my thoughts.

    I don't know.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,851, Reputation: 5428
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    #15

    Sep 23, 2019, 01:17 PM
    How are you understanding teachers in the classroom?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #16

    Sep 23, 2019, 02:16 PM
    You are making the biggest mistake of your life, trying to find a answer to a medical issue online. You can find out that you have a 100 things. none of them true. So stop the goggle or what ever and just enjoy life the best you can.

    All teens, and I do mean all of them, even the ones that look like they enjoy life so much, thing things are hard, worry too much and for some reason, have concern what others think.

    Guess what, in 20 years you won't even know where 1/2 the kids you are with now live. You will have other friends. I see 2 of my old high school friends every few years, and see about 40 at class reunions.

    Guess what most of the beautiful cheer leaders are fat, or married to someone with low paying jobs. Most of the jocks, remember high school as the best time of their life. (that is so sad, since the best part is far ahead of you)
    mahef127's Avatar
    mahef127 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Sep 25, 2019, 01:59 PM
    I can't understand all but I can understand bits. I have learned the language and can understand and speak but studying in Turkish is difficult.

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