My son just turned 2 years old on Sunday 2/10/08. He is very intelligent for his age his is good at problem solving situations and in general he is a very good kid. However the bot has never spoken a word to us. His hearing was checked and that is fine and he can make a car sound but that is it. He doesn't say mommie or daddy or hi or bye or anything.I can make noises with my mouth, like clicking my tongue on the roof of my mouth, and he will mimic me. We, my whole family and his nanny, read to him all the time and he answers simple commands, like " do you want some milk?", he then gives me a cup. But no words. If anyone has any information or just advise, please help me.

Will he make eye contact with you, and does he avoid physical contact? Have you had him checked out for lower grade autism? These kids can be very, very bright but live in a world of their own making.

I am afraid of Autism Spectrum Disorder. He does have eye contact. And he loves to be nears us. He actually loves to have his scalp rubbed when he is relaxing. So again I am worried.

Please, for you to make that comment shows that you've given this some serious thought. Please take him to a consultant and have him checked out, it may even be something physical. Being afraid of something is worse than dealing with it, at least when you know for sure you know what you're dealing with, and how to help him.

Being afraid of something is worse than dealing with it, at least when you know for sure you know what you're dealing with, and how to help him.

First off let me start by saying that I AM "dealing" with it. I take him to physicians
And to be honest he actually has another appointment this very Thursday. Secondly let me say to you that there is nothing to "deal" with! You do not deal with things like this because you don't treat them as a problem. My son is not something to deal with. Lastly I joined and posted my question for help not for you to criticize me. I do have fear that He may have an ASD or developmental disorder. That is the purpose for me asking for advise or information, not your criticism.

Wow... I didn't hear criticism there at all. Perhaps you were expecting it, so that's what you heard?

I heard concern, and a possible approach.

You didn't mention in your original post that you had been to physicians, which would be the first obvious step--which is why it was the first suggestion made to you.

While physicians will help you to determine if there are any physical/developmental issues that your child may have, one thing I'd like to mention is that I know 3 extremely intelligent people that did not speak until after their second birthdays. They simply did not speak until their ability to communicate caught up with their ideas. When they DID start talking, it was in complete sentences, with a vocabulary WELL beyond what was normal.

Please remember that people here ARE trying to help, but they only have the information that YOU have given to be able to help you.

Comments on this post
TheNikels agrees: Thank you for your answer. I simply find it hard to believe I would have to state that I have taken my 2 year old to a physician. Doesn't everyone have to take their children, especially small ones at least to their well-visits and immunizations?

Actually, you'd be surprised by how many people either fear physicians, feel they can't afford it, or simply just don't go. Some truly are afraid of what they'll hear, so they don't go because if they don't go, then it isn't happening to them. Unfortunately, we see it all to often on these boards.

Unfortunately, I'm not medically trained, so the only insight I could possibly offer you is the one I already did. I do hope that you get some answers soon, and that your mind is relieved of some of the worry you have for your son.

There was no criticism intended, it was simply a response to your posting. As to your response - I have a son with ADHD who was picked up with the condition at a very early age, barely two years old, in fact. At eight months old he destroyed his very first TOMY indestructible toy, and he's barely stopped to slow down since, he's now in his teens.

When he was first picked out as 'different' - I kept asking myself, was he just an overly naughty child, was it me, was it something I was doing wrong? That's a natural mother's reaction. Unfortunately, the 'professionals' have to check out the same questions before they can continue to help and you will 'get put through the hoop' so to speak - it leaves you tired, frustrated, defensive (hence the attack I also did that), and the guilt that this process leaves you feeling is incredible, even if you know, deep down, that it's not actually anything you've done, or are doing. Pardon my saying so, but read your post back - you quoted that you were afraid of ASD and made no mention of having already seen physicians so what other response did you expect?

Okay - your son is not a 'problem to deal with' but put your head in the sand as much a you like (forgive my saying so), but the problems lie in how other people react to that condition, how it will affect his education, his relationships with his peers, other members of the family, and his future. You will encounter people who, despite a professional disagnosis, will always prefer to choose to believe that the doctors have it all wrong, that it's a 'made-up' condition and that you're just a lousy parent. (Usually a grandparent or mother-in-law, I found, who liked to believe they were the world's authority on bringing up kids even though their kids were hardly a shining example:)

Then there's misconception, and preconception, to deal with. When my lad was nine years old, the well meaning authorities offered help as it's just he and I - how would we feel about him attending a Mentor group for kids with ADHD - it would give me a respite now and again, and he would get day trips and activities? Sounds wonderful until you look further and discover that the result of putting a whole bunch of ADHD kids is that they all 'bounce off each other' and can take days to calm down as a result, and the group is under the umbrella of the Social Services Youth Offending Team. Nine years old and it's presumed he's going to become a criminal, is what that felt like, so no thank you.

Your child is not a problem - the situation surrounding any condition is. And they will monitor your behavior like a hawk, looking for clues as to why your boy is the way he is, that's their job - and as it's usually physicians, psychologists, psychiatrists and Uncle Tom Cobley and all that you're likely to be put through - you need to stay calm. Because if you react to one of these people because you don't like what you're hearing as you reacted to my non criticical response, they could come to a conclusion that he's subdued emotionally because you have anger issues and he's become used to not displaying feelings or saying anything because he's scared of your reaction. That is not a criticism - this is what they put you through to get to the root of the problem, they have to make sure that there are not external issues prompting this behaviour.

And the bottom line is, that for all their education, learning and qualifications - he's still your child, and don't ever let yourself be intimidated by them if you don't think it's helping or it's making things worse. If he goes into mainstream school - great as it is, it brings problems. J was bullied because of his being different and the school didn't seem to have a handle on it, so I simply walked past the teacher and dealt with it myself. Then there's the fact that the school say he can't attend unless he takes his medication, the medication is an appetite suppressant (so he won't always eat lunch), and then you have some teacher frothing at the mouth because he's insisting that the child eat every mouthful, the child is adamantly refusing and digs his heels in, the teacher is feeling that his lack of discipline is being shown up so calls in another teacher - and you have two grown male teachers trying to bully a nine-year old into eating. When he stands there flatly refusing, you get the phone call to come up to the school because he's 'out of control' and when you get there you find one calm child flatly refusing to move now (ADHD kids don't have the same inhibitions and mental restrictions as other kids, no Stop Factor) and two teachers who are angry and frustrated at his refusal to eat - even though it says on his school medical records what the problem is and not to force him to eat. Who's out of control there, the child or the teachers? So, you will have situations that are not the norm when you have to stand against those who should know better, when you have a child that's not the same as everyone else's. These are different situations because he's ADHD and your boy isn't, but losing your temper is no good, you need to be the one to stay in control. THIS IS NOT CRITICISM.

ASD's are not something to be afraid of... have him see a speech therapist and ask your doctor for tests for Aesberger's Syndrome

My son did not speak at 2 either,and he started displaying tantrums and had problems transitioning from one thing to another,especially leaving somewhere he was having fun.I felt alone and decided to ask questions about how to deal with his behavior.I found out that he could be evaluated by professionals and perhaps qualify for speech that would help him develop skills he needed help with.He was also given a MRI to see if a neurologist thought his brain was developing at a normal pace,and to rule out any problems like autism.My child is now 4,and he was allowed to start school early,and he has already reached many goals,and is beginning to talk at his own age level.You can offer you son a chance at unlocking his silence and possibly giving him a headstart on his education.He will become frustrated,and you will be the one that suffers because he will use you as a way of dealing with is aggression.My son would pull my hair,hit,lay on the floor and refuse to walk,and you are the one everyone will stare at leaving you to feel like a bad mother.Don't face this alone,there are people that can help you and more than likey it will only be a speech delay,which is easy to cure with a little time and patience.Look for an agency like Early Steps or programs that is funded by the government.Many of the programs will be federally funded,and at no cost to you.You are not alone,and many children just need a little extra help unlocking this part of their brain.