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    pmw247's Avatar
    pmw247 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 5, 2010, 11:57 PM
    I cut myself not deep enough to shed blood,just to feel the pain and leave a scar.. y?
    I do it because I'm overwhelmed with my parents thinking I'm a failure child. It relieves the pain and gets my head away from because I think about what I just did to myself. Ive done it a few times now and haven't told anyone so its not for attention. I don't want anyone to know because it'll just make matters worse at home.. but am I considered a cutter? Or what?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jul 6, 2010, 03:11 AM

    Yes, for whatever reason you cut yourself, you are considered a cutter. I suggest you get your head around it and come to the conclusion that it will not actually solve the problem but make it worse. You must, absolutely must, sit down and talk to your parents about attitude on both sides of the fence, or better yet, talk to a counsellor at school. But you MUST talk it out with someone.

    Tick
    joanl's Avatar
    joanl Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jul 8, 2010, 01:55 PM
    I want to say that I have been where you are and know what you feel. It is always the best to being able to talk to your family, to find understanding and to have trusted and close relationship with your close people. It is important to keep it in mind and do work toward it, because it IS the best way. But the reality of life is also that sometimes this desired closeness and trust with your family just is not happening no matter what you do. I know it feels very heavy and difficult inside, you do not really know what to do, are tired of it and just want to relieve the pain at least somehow. I want to tell you that there are other ways except for cutting yourself. Cutting is the road which goes downhill and goes there faster than you might think. I bet you do not know yet what is at the bottom of that hill and, trust me, you do not want to be there. I, thanks God, have not been there myself, but I have seen people who were. I suppose that helped me to make my decisions in different way. I also know and have seen that the deeper you sink in this nasty stuff - then more difficult it becomes to get back up.

    Listen me up - you should just sit somewhere where you could be by yourself at least 15-20 minutes a day without any noise and anybody else around and do nothing - just think to yourself about yourself. Think about this - cutting DOES NOT make your problem better, it makes you forget for a couple of seconds, but then you come back to the world with the same problem PLUS another problem with you body being cut, needing to heal, might get infected, parasites might get in trough the cut, etc (which with time WILL get much worse - I know you think it will not and you can stop any time - it WILL, if you will decide to go on with it, and it WILL NOT be easy to stop then).

    I have done a lot of thinking about it myself, when I was a teen, and I am now way beyond my teen years, have a life I am quite happy with and have my own children. :)

    Why don't you try what I did. If you can not find understanding with you parents - do step #1 - just accept that your parents are this way. You do need to agree with them, if you feel what they do or think is wrong. You can and should have and keep your own opinion, but stop fighting with them and try to convince them to change their mind. Do not fight or struggle with your parents and don't feel depressed about their decisions or opinions. Follow their requirements patiently until you are old enough to make your own life. Just say to yourself that it is OK for them to think whatever they want to think, just as it is OK for you to think what you want to think about yourself and others - this will give you piece to start with. I know it is difficult. You feel that they are your parents - people who brought you to this world, and they should love you in the ways which make you feel loved and proud of yourself. And you are right - they SHOULD. But the reality of life is also that parents are people just like anybody else. They can make mistakes, or do not know how or what to do at the right moment just like anybody else around. Sometimes our parents are kids of the parents who did not know how to be good parents and did not teach their kids the good ways.

    So... you can cut yourself away and end up being confused parent yourself as you grow up - with kids around you who are hurting and feel they can not go for help to their closest people or... you can teach yourself. You know, when there is nobody around you or with you, when you are completely alone and world is closing on you - there is still that someone who is ALWAYS with you and always on your side - YOU and what Native Americans called your Great Spirit. Your Great Spirit is that part of you which tells you that you want what is good and right, that you love yourself, are proud of yourself and CAN do what you set your mind on. Sometimes we might feel we are not so good, etc (you know, when one wants a reason - they will always find one), but I know that Spirit of yours is there. It might be small and hidden now, but I know it is there in your heart. I have found mine and I know you can find yours. I know you can make it grow and become your guide, just as I did.

    Stop worrying about what other people around think about you (including your parents if you can not find understanding with them) and set your mind on thinking and learning who is the best YOU that you want to be and how YOU can be that way. Find person in your life that you like - a person who you feel you can respect and who is close to what you want to be. It can be someone you know and meet everyday or it can be an author of the book you like, or person who wrote an article in the magazine you like, etc. You do not need to necessarily meet this person, but you should find out everything about them - who they are, how they lived their life and how they got where they are and to be who they are. I have read several books which I liked, agreed with and which helped me a lot in life. People who wrote those books gave me advice I needed and I consider these people my mentors - people I have learned from and I am happy I did. Look around, find people like that, learn from them, let them inspire you to become what you want to be. I could and I know you can. And if you do not see people like that around you right now, then spend you time looking for them and keep looking until you find at least one.

    I know, if you will do that and stick with it - it will change your life. I know you have what it takes Your life will go where it should go - on the road to you being happy and proud of yourself, instead of going down the hill, where cutting leads, and where, trust me, you will be VERY unhappy.

    I felt like you when I was your age and I turned my life around to go where I wanted to be - and so can you. I am happy now with my life and so you can be. I know you will. Good luck. :)
    tallieshada's Avatar
    tallieshada Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 10, 2013, 11:54 PM
    To be honest, I do the exact thing. And for the same reason. I know it is wrong and I shouldn't do it but it has become a habit of mine. Don't follow in my footsteps. I cut all the time. Yes, it bleeds but it is not deep enough to injure me severely. I do this every day. Don't do this. How about we make a deal. I stop if you stop. Okay?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #5

    Feb 11, 2013, 03:43 AM
    tallieshada, old post from 2010; doubt OP has been back in two years. Best to check your date line before answering.

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