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    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
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    #1

    Jan 21, 2007, 01:47 PM
    At the end of my rope with cat
    A while ago I posted that our cat doesn't use her litter pan to pee. Well I've tried everything in the book and what you suggested on here. Nothing works. Yesterday I rubbed her mouth in it and put her outside and as soon as she was out one door she was to the next to get back in. The story is, our Daughter brought this cat home and has since gone back to college and left it with us. The reason being she don't know what to do with her either. The problem is I want to take her to the vet and get her put down but I know how much our Daughter loves this cat and I'm going through the guilt trip of whether I'm going to look like a Mom who has no heart and if I should put our Daughter feelings first or not. This cat is a bueatiful long haired but looks are deceiving. When she does this she acts like nothing is wrong. I've never witnessed anything like it in my life. I'm hoping you guys will give me some of your opinions and help me with my guilt trip. Just tired of wiping up pee day and night.
    pennybot's Avatar
    pennybot Posts: 57, Reputation: 18
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    #2

    Jan 22, 2007, 05:02 AM
    Possibilities:
    (edit: first let me say I haven't read your previous posts yet, so sorry if any of this sounds familiar!)

    1st-being that the cat was a stray and possibly was on birth and so never was trained. Sounds like you're unsuccessful in training it so how about get rid of the tray and make it an outdoor cat. Strays are already prepped to be outdoor cats. Don't let it in unless it's for a bit of attention and food, and then set it back out again. Strays demand a lot of respect of independence, patience and love but their loyalty at the end is second to none.
    The cat's lifestyle has been altered a great deal, probably too fast for it's comfort zone and so both of you are suffering.(most likely the case). It probably wants to feel like it's on it's own but around your house.

    Just a note: A cat is not just a 'pet'. It's a companion. A roommate. Especially strays - they lived by their own rules before a human came along and changed all that. With cats, it's all about bargaining.

    2nd- the cat may have a bladder infection it's trying to tell you about. Pets communicate health status with a sense of smell and the smell of their own droppings/pee carries information. They pee by you to notify you of something wrong.(maybe. But if it's a young cat, not as likely) They'd only do this if it seems unusual after they had been using a tray the whole time and then stopped using it out of the blue.
    (edit: I not only read about but learned first hand that cats with bladder infections do not realize the pain they feel as they pee is something internal, They connect the pain with where they are peeing rather than something to do with their own bodies and so they experiment by trying to pee on softer things than litter)

    If you really are at the end of your rope, turn it up for adoption or turn it to the cat hospital to put up for adoption.
    If you do go this route, please seek professionals to look after this for you. Perhaps ASPCA. They at least put it up for adoption as first choice(ok, they do the euthanasia but at least they give the kitty a chance to be adopted first!).

    To be completely honest and frank with you though, upon first glance at reading this, it sounded to me like you are at the end of your rope with your daughter.. I mean yeah, it is sad but she is shirking her responsibility onto you. She's in college and still doing it.
    Who wouldn't blame you for being at the end of your rope! She needs to learn this isn't how the world works. A cat is a being she needs to consider it's life as a whole. All pet owners have to come to the reality in their living quarters/lifestyle about how their pets fit in and not all choices are going to be ideal. She needs to learn this. The earlier, the better.
    I'd heft it back on her and let her make the decision. Not you. The cat is just an innocent animal doing what an animal does.. and that's for her to learn about.
    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
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    #3

    Jan 22, 2007, 10:34 AM
    Thanks for your reply pennybot but this cat isn't a stray. It was given to her just six or seven weeks old. She's been like it every since she got her. She'll use the pan for everything else but will not pee in it. She acts like nothing is wrong no matter what. She doesn't have a urine infection and I'm told that some cats are like that. My Daughter told us to put her down but I know that she really doesn't want it done. We can tell by the way she reacts every time we get mad about the cat and threatens to do it. I know it's our home and all but I feel she loves this cat so dearly that I don't want to be the one to really make the decision and we know that she'll never do it on her own.
    pennybot's Avatar
    pennybot Posts: 57, Reputation: 18
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    #4

    Jan 22, 2007, 01:35 PM
    Ah OK. I assumed daughter bringing cat home=stray.

    Still, doesn't change the fact that there are more options.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #5

    Jan 22, 2007, 02:18 PM
    I would suggest reading, and trying the suggestions listed here.

    I think this cat knows you don't like it. I get the feeling you favor your dog over the cat, and probably just have not been all that friendly with it. I am appalled you would rub it's face into it like that. That is just plain mean...

    I suggest you turn it over to the SPCA.
    pennybot's Avatar
    pennybot Posts: 57, Reputation: 18
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    #6

    Jan 23, 2007, 02:20 AM
    Just peeking at this thread that you posted before
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/cats/c...pan-41481.html
    I assume this is the same cat..did you ever make it to the vet? What did they say?
    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
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    #7

    Jan 23, 2007, 08:32 PM
    Thanks for the replys. First I would like to say that all the suggestions on here as been tried so far but nothing solves the problem. As for saying I Iove my dog more than the cat you couldn't be more wrong. I don't only have a dog, I have three more cats, four pet rats, two hamsters, two dwarf hampsters a mouse a frog and two horses as well. Nobody can love animals anymore than I do but as for rubbing her nose in her pee well what would you do if every morning and night you had to clean it up. Our other animals step in it and drag it through the house as well. That was my intention to make her scared of me just to see if it would make a difference but she acts like nothing is wrong. I have given her much love since coming to our home but like I said I'm at the end of my rope . As for our Daughter she's a animal lover as well and that is why she doesn't want to really have to make the choice of putting her down. We also feed a stray that's been coming to our place for the past two years and when it comes to the animals neither one gets treated any different than the others. I asked for some suggestions here and didn't ask to be judged. You just don't judge someone you don't even know. Why take the cat to the spca when they'll just put her down anyway. If someone were to adopt her they would probably just bring her back.
    pennybot's Avatar
    pennybot Posts: 57, Reputation: 18
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    #8

    Jan 24, 2007, 05:43 AM
    One moment you're talking about killing it.
    The next moment you're defending your love for this pet.
    Then you're playing your own devil's advocate on how many animals you have that are taking up your attention and how this cat has driven you to your last nerve.
    Then the next moment you're talking about instilling fear into it.

    I'm really confused on the answer you are searching for here. whatever the answer, you seem to have an excuse.

    Have you tried philly's link yet? It looked like it had some really good suggestions. Not all of those suggestions were in the previous thread for you to try yet. And you jump out and say you've tried them all. It's only been,what, 24 hours since philly posted? So you are saying you tried all those suggestions too? Already? Wow. Oh so you did talk to the vet(I'm STILL waiting for you to confirm my question on that vet thing btw), try the glowing stuff, tried the feeding area trick, all those different litters, upside down runners, spraying(that would consider you following her and catching her in the act which means not being so busy, neglectful or distracted to not notice), try NOT punishing her (and I quote straight from that site: "Do NOT punish the cat. Punishing the cat, including rubbing her nose in the soiled area will not help, and will probably increase the stress on the cat.")

    So.. You did all of that. In the last 24 hours. That's what you are telling us.

    Jumping to the conclusion it's going to die either way is just an excuse to not give it away.
    But consider a person going out of their way to the spca or cat hospital to get a cat already does not have many companions waiting at home. Usually they need someone to give their attention to. And at least at the hospital or SPCA, they can determine if the animal does have a serious condition. It's checked for that before going up for adoption.

    As you say, you treated it as any other cats you have, but not all cats are going to be the same. Just because your way didn't work, doesn't mean someone else won't succeed.
    Maybe it will die either way. But who's to say?
    At least at the SPCA or cat hospital, it has a shred of hope.

    Your daughter has other priorities to worry about which she still needs to be responsible to sort out between raising a cat that obviously needs attention or study. That's a no-brainer. But who prepared her to make these kinds of life decisions and set her priorities that affects others around her such as taking in a cat at the wrong time in her life?
    Unless someone forced her at gunpoint, I'm pretty sure taking in a cat is still a decision in this day and age. She could have said no.. I mean she's obviously capable of making fair and grown up decisions about her own life. So why didn't she make a fair decision for the cat's life?

    You still haven't answered my question.
    Have you taken the cat to the vet? Are you intentionally dodging this? What professional have you consulted with has confirmed this problem to be behavioral or physical?

    You've asked for opinions and to help you through a guilt trip.
    Is it ok to kill your pet over something as trivial as messing on your carpet? Is it ok to kill a cat that has no confirmation that it has even been taken into a vet(yet) to determine what is wrong with it?
    that it's morally ok that it should die because whatever it's underlaying problem is, it's an inconvenience to you?

    Hmm, well, you are asking for opinions. It couldn't possibly be a bait to get us to answer honestly and then turn around to accuse us of doing just that. Right? I mean who would be so manipulative? Who I ask you?

    Here's my answer: No. No it's not ok. There. that's my opinion.

    Are you going to jump out and call me judgmental too?

    I am not helping you through a guilt trip because I firmly believe you are having it for a reason. A very good reason. I think you have guilt because I think you know in your heart and maybe you do have an ounce of common sense telling you that what you are thinking of doing is not fair to you nor the cat. Go with it. Listen to it. That's the good voice talking there.
    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jan 24, 2007, 10:51 PM
    Thanks Philly for the link. When I said all the suggestions were tried on here I didn't mean the link you offered but the last few replies that I received before. The link is very educational and yes I'm sure to try all that I haven't before. I know I don't want to part with this cat anymore than my Daughter does but people get where they don't know where to turn sometimes. If I wasn't willing to give this cat her all I wouldn't have put up with her for the last eight months. See how things go after I've tried some of those suggestions listed. Thanks Again!
    starsbooty's Avatar
    starsbooty Posts: 119, Reputation: 7
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    #10

    Feb 22, 2007, 09:26 AM
    Try locking your cat in the room with the pee pan, until she uses it, she will cry cry cry but she will learn, my aunt had the same problem and she locked her cat in the bathroom with the pan, not ignore your cat just make it known she can not come out until she uses or learns how to use it. It worked for her.. good luck
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #11

    Feb 22, 2007, 11:39 AM
    That link that PhillyCheeseSteak gave to you is an excellent one. Please review it carefully.

    Quite often, when you have multiple cats, one cat will not want to eliminate where the others go. Try buying or creating a litter box that will be used just by this cat. You need to create the environment at home that will allow for this cat to use just this box alone. Try keeping her and her new litter box separated from the others for a week. See what happens. You may also want to try a 100% dust free litter, without perfumes or additives.

    It also may be that she needs to be an only cat. If this trick with the separate litter pan works, if it is too much trouble to keep her separated, I would suggest placing an ad in a local newspaper and see if you can find a home without any other cats for her.

    If this doesn't work or the suggestions from Philly's link doesn't work, please do as he says and surrender the cat to your local ASPCA or Humane Society, rather than have her put down. It may just be that your environment is not something that is conducive to her and she needs an opportunity to find another home without any other pets.
    robynhgl's Avatar
    robynhgl Posts: 112, Reputation: 25
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    #12

    Feb 22, 2007, 06:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by caesars charm
    A while ago I posted that our cat doesn't use her litter pan to pee. Well I've tried everything in the book and what you suggested on here. Nothing works. Yesterday I rubbed her mouth in it and put her outside and as soon as she was out one door she was to the next to get back in. The story is, our Daughter brought this cat home and has since gone back to college and left it with us. The reason being she don't know what to do with her either. The problem is I want to take her to the vet and get her put down but I know how much our Daughter loves this cat and I'm going through the guilt trip of whether I'm going to look like a Mom who has no heart and if I should put our Daughter feelings first or not. This cat is a bueatiful long haired but looks are deceiving. When she does this she acts like nothing is wrong. I've never witnessed anything like it in my life. I'm hoping you guys will give me some of your opinions and help me with my guilt trip. Just tired of wiping up pee day and night.
    I went through this about 6 years ago with one of my cats.

    I took her to the vet regularly so I knew she wasn't sick. Perhaps stressed, we had just moved into our new house (and the last thing I wanted was the place reeking of cat-pee--YUCK!)and she was an older cat.

    I made sure she had two litter boxes and confined her to the laundry room in the basement. I only let her out when I could put her collar on her and keep her 'leashed'. I did this for almost three weeks. She eventually 'got it' and the laundry room became her little comfort zone when she needed to get away from it all... I think she just liked sleeping on the dryer!

    She died last year, when I was dealing with her peeing problem I had really contemplated having her put down, I'm glad I found a method that worked.

    The problem with turning a cat over that does that type of thing is that most people will not tolerate a cat that sprays in the house, it would be very hard to place an animal that does that.

    Good Luck, I know how hard it is to go through what you're dealing with.
    novabee's Avatar
    novabee Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Feb 23, 2007, 11:47 PM
    We had some problems from our cat peeing on the carpet when she was sick. There is a stain and odor remover that worked for us. It called natures miracle and it cleans the pee stains and odor out of the carpet as it dries. Because once a cat has peed in a certain spot they will smell that they have peed there and do it again, natures miracle will remove the smell off pee and it smells bad to cats so it keeps them from returning to that spot. There are also various sprays that you can spray in the pee pee corners that smell bad to animals and you can use it as an aid to train your kitty. You can find natures miracle and other sprays at most pet stores. I know that pet cetra and Mr. pets has it if they are around your area. Good luck, I hope that you find something that works for you, there are always options like adoption if you can't handle this cat.
    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
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    #14

    Feb 24, 2007, 08:19 AM
    Thanks guys for your reply. I'm going to try the idea of putting her in a room by herself. That's the only thing I haven't tried. The vet thinks it's just her pride. After all she's such a queeny. HA! It takes a lot for me to put a animal down but sometimes like I said you get to the end of your rope and that's it. Maybe she would be better if she had a home where there was no other pets. Last week I got a large plastic container and filled it with litter but she still peed outside of it. Let's see what happens. Thanks again!
    belgia's Avatar
    belgia Posts: 40, Reputation: 8
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    #15

    Dec 31, 2010, 05:15 AM
    Comment on pennybot's post
    Put red hot chili peppers jabaneros around the house. By furniture, in corners and even in the middle of some areas for a week or so. The cat WILL use the litter box. They hate chili pepper or perppers of any kind and the whole dried peppers best.

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