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    orange's Avatar
    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #1

    Aug 4, 2006, 03:40 PM
    Demanding and jealous siamese
    This is more of a comment / vent than a question. Ever since children have been introduced into our house, and especially my new baby, my 13 year old siamese has been very jealous and extra-needy. I thought that his jealousy would wane after a while, but my baby is 3 months old and the cat is still having "issues". He gets plenty of attention, but he seems to want me to himself all the time. If the baby is on my lap, he will jump up on my lap too and literally try to "push" the baby out of my arms lol. I've started calling him a "lap hog" as a result. :p When I'm alone in the house and the baby is sleeping, kitty gets totally "horny" (sorry but that is the best word to describe), drools and kneads on me and runs around the house all excited and happy. He has also taken to biting me if I don't pay attention to him. He's actually sitting on my lap at the moment, because if I didn't let him, he would be nipping my legs or ankles.

    Other family members, such as my husband, have tried to pet him, play with him and give him love when I am busy, but he doesn't respond in the same way. He still waits for me to be free and then assaults me with his demands. I guess he also considers himself my baby. ;)
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
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    #2

    Aug 4, 2006, 06:27 PM
    Oooh Chava, I am not sure I would let the nips go unchallenged? You don't want the kids to experience that or the cat to grow in his dominance. Do you know how to put him in his place? A little dominating him now and then might help. Think in terms of you as a cat-- what would you do to demonstrate your superiority? A little pinch on the back of the neck (simulating a cat nipping there), a little bodily forcing him to lay down and take the more submissive posture with you bodily over him, a little growl with an eyes wide open stare and you might find him more manageble. Just a though when I know you didn't ask for any suggestions but I thought I might get away with it anyway? :o
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Aug 4, 2006, 06:33 PM
    Val, what do you do if you take care of that problem then the cat starts marking their territory on the child's toys, playpen, clothes etc?

    I had that with a cat, Kenai. We took care of the nipping and all the other problems Chava is talking about then the territory marking came up. It was when Johnny was about 9 months to a year. She was clearly jealous.

    Unfortunately she had to be put to sleep due to feline leuko, but I am wondering if this starts to happen with Chava.
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    Dr D Posts: 698, Reputation: 127
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    #4

    Aug 4, 2006, 06:50 PM
    I think Siamese cats are a special, strange, and almost human like breed. Many years ago we adopted a 2 year old male Sealpoint who had been shut in a room by himself to disembowel a fold up bed. For the first couple of months he would hide under the bed in daylight hours and venture to the litterbox at night. I called him the Nightstalker. One day he blossomed and allowed us to pick him up. Later he became a constant companion. When one of our females gave birth, he would have the kittens on a shelf of the cat pole with them suckling on the fur on his chest. About a year later, he went out one day and never returned. After that I got a 1/2 Siamese all black male who I named Kato (Pink Panther film) because he would attack me from dark corners. He was my great buddy for almost 17 years. His ashes are in my bookcase. I now have two sisters who's mom is Siamese. They don't have the typical Siamese voice, but are gentle ladies who kill things and eat them in my living room. I believe that you belong to your cat, and after so many years he will not let go. I am sure that you can accommodate your baby and your kitty. Enjoy.
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    #5

    Aug 4, 2006, 07:00 PM
    No offense intended here Janine but what you are suggesting says either you didn't fully dominate the cat or the cat decided to escalate it in the struggle for dominance, which I think it rare. Its just most of us are not good at the hierarchy game like cats and dogs are and if you want a neurotic pet, mess with where it is in the pecking order, which is what the arrival of all Chava's kids did inadvertently. With you and your cat, I would have determined if you were really playing the alpha cat game correctly, advise spraying over the cat's spray as well as try and catch her in the act so you could initiate immediate interference, either with a squirt gun or other means too lengthy to go into here.

    As sad as this can be, I don't agree in keeping any pet that you can't control -- its not kind to you and its not kind to the pet. Furthermore the problems it can led to can be much more than just some marked up stuff, as unpleasant as that is. After exhausting every behavioral modification in the book I could think of (and there is a long list of them too) I would resolve to find it another home where the conditions were more suitable rather than see everyone suffer. I have heard on more than one occasion of an only-pet cat being relocated after a baby came home simply because it would not make the adjustment, although I suspect there was no action taken to help the cat find its place.

    To really understand animals as pets, I think the two little books out called The Hidden Life of Dogs and The Secret Life of Cats are incredibly invaluable. As a result of reading those two books, I feel much more able to speak in a language both my cats and dog understand and the relationship is deep and rewarding without me having to look the other way on any unwanted behavior. In our house Bob the big cat is top gun, with me a close second (I only override him on a few things as he is a cat that needs to be mostly alpha), then the dog, then the little cat-- that is until the Man of the house gets home, then we all slide over to make room LOL. But here is the clue that we are really getting along (not that this is to everyone's taste, mind you)... when it comes time to sleep we are all in the same bed together, each in a position relative to where they are on the totem pole too.
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    #6

    Aug 4, 2006, 07:22 PM
    Oops, in my agree above, I meant no offense taken. Comma is in the wrong place. Sowwie!!
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    #7

    Aug 4, 2006, 07:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9
    Oops, in my agree above, I meant no offense taken. Comma is in the wrong place. Sowwie!!!!!!
    Phew! Thanks for essssplainin' Luuuuucy! Yes cats are strange and far more subtle than dogs too but I don't think they are nearly as aloof as they are made out to be -- mine come when called, visibly preeen when called good kitties and stop, albeit with pouting, when we say no no to something... shrugs.
    orange's Avatar
    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #8

    Aug 4, 2006, 10:06 PM
    LOL thanks for all the advice and discussion, guys. I appreciate it even if I didn't really ask for it. ;)

    I have never had problems with Chairman Meow peeing, attacking anyone (other than me) or destroying things. He's actually a gentle animal and quite timid around most people. He doesn't even meow much for a siamese, except when he is alone with me! He does a LOT of things when we are alone that he never does it front of others, including my husband, who he has known for a couple of years at least already. Dr. D I think you hit the nail on the head when you said I belong to Chairman Meow. I am sure that's what he thinks lol.

    I will never put him down or give him away... he has been my cat since 8th grade and been in 2 foster homes with me, as well as boarding school LMAO! (the caseworker who arranged for me to go to the boarding school convinced the Sisters that he was important for my mental health haha). So he's a very special cat.

    Val I do reprimand him when he nips me, similar to the way you described, but I've found it's just easier to anticipate when he is close to nipping and give him what he wants. Like when he was sitting on my lap earlier, just before he jumped up, I felt his presence haha so I gave in and let him sit on me. He usually will only nip if I ignore him for a few minutes. Part of me feels guilty, thinking that maybe he's not getting enough attention from me, so that's why I give him what he wants. Actually he has always nipped me in certain circumstances, for example, he absolutely hates it when I laugh and will attack me!! Of course that only makes me laugh harder and then he nips more.

    Anyway thanks again guys. :)
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    #9

    Aug 5, 2006, 07:45 AM
    I apologise Chava. I don't understand venting very well (its not something I do myself so I am handicapped there) so I took liberties here that perhaps I shouldn't have, and I am glad to hear its all pretty minor.
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    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #10

    Aug 5, 2006, 10:00 AM
    You don't need to apologize! Perhaps I didn't explain myself totally in the first post. I just felt like talking about Chairman Meow because he's been so needy lately. I don't really have anyone to talk to about him specifically. I was hoping other cat lovers would comment, and I got several comments, so I'm happy! :)
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    #11

    Aug 5, 2006, 02:52 PM
    Is there any possibility that this is Chairman Meow is giving you little kitty nip kisses when he wants your attention?

    My sister had a cat Moosey-Moosey, and when she would pet him he would nip her almost like a kiss.

    Just a thought.
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    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #12

    Aug 5, 2006, 07:25 PM
    Moosey-Moosey haha that's a cute name! :)

    Chairman Meow does nibble like a kiss too sometimes, but this is quite a lot harder than that. Like he's never broken the skin, but it can really hurt! But he's not in a nasty mood at the time so much as a needy and a bit aggressive mood, so who knows, it might be a rough kiss. Maybe he's into S&M lol. (Can I say that?? ) :D

    Thanks Janine!

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