English native speaker please help me to check and correct my translation
Asked Dec 23, 2016, 09:42 AM
Please help me to check and correct my translation in term of acceptability, readability, translation accuracy, grammar, language style and used.
Please help me because this is school assignment. Your time and help is greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot.
The Wrong Pull
One day, Lady Cempluk, accompanied by Jon Koplo, went shopping in the famous Shopping Centre in Solo City. Inside one of the clothing stores, Cempluk looked for an item that she would buy as a gift. After deciding upon an item, they both made their way to the check-out. The check-out line was unusually long. Cempluk joined the line first, with Koplo behind her. However, the long line seemed to be even longer, as the cashier appeared to be a new employee, which could be seen from the uniform of black skirt and white shirt that she wore, just an intern usually does. Cempluk looked around to find a shorter check-out line. Suddenly her eyes fixed upon one. “Whoa, there’s a short line! Let’s go over there, Plo!” she cried, while pulling the hand of Koplo, who was standing behind her. But what happened? “Hey...Miss, Miss! Where are you taking me?” The shout shocked Cempluk. She turned around and was even more shocked! “Oh!” she gasped. It seemed that the hand that she was pulling belonged to a fat man! After discovering the situation, Cempluk realized it was not Koplo standing behind her but the fat man.