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victoriaulanda · May 31, 2007, 07:38 PM

I have been with the same guy for over a year and a half and we very rarely use a condom.
I'm on the contraceptive pill and have been taking 'this' pill for over 3 years. I had a previous partner who I was with for over 5 years we also did not use condoms very often but he always pulled out but my current boyfriend does ejaculate inside me, I feel so much happier with this guy and that's why I let him inside.
I was wondering if this is safe, I have no problems with my period and it is always on time.
But I always have the worry of getting pregnant in the back of my mind.

Fr_Chuck · May 31, 2007, 07:41 PM

As long as he does not already have some STD, or as long as he is not a drug user or as long as he does not cheat on your just once, with someone who has a STD.

And as long as you know that a pill only even if they "pull out" is not 100 percent effective, while fairly effective, there are a lot of babies out there created when the person was on the pill..
So as long as the term MOMMY does not scare you it is fine.

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 07:43 PM

If the fear of getting pregnant is in the back of your mind, you might want to rearrange your thinking and put it in the front of your mind.

Pregnancy is ALWAYS a possibility no matter what form of birth control you use.

victoriaulanda · May 31, 2007, 07:46 PM

He is totally faithful and would never cheat on me and I would never cheat on him. The problem we are both in our final year at University and are planning to have good career's and neither of us want a baby just yet, He is only 20 years and I'm 23.
I know you have very different views on pregnancy in the states and within religious sectors.
I'm from the UK so maybe our views will differ.

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 07:48 PM

Hun, views have nothing to do with FACTS.

While on the pill it is very possible to get pregnant (I have two boys this way), it is still possible to get diseases if he may have had them before you met (genital warts is one).

victoriaulanda · May 31, 2007, 07:56 PM

I mean by different views... meaning abortion. I know there are strong views against it over there. He has been with no one else other than me cause he was a virgin before we got together and I have been tested recently and I was all clear. So no worry of STD's I was also wondering if we can get STD from having unprotected sex, even though we are the only two people?

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 08:11 PM

Well, I didn't see abortion brought up here, so I don't know where that came from.

But as far as STDs, they are ONLY transmitted sexually, hence the name Sexually Transmitted Diseases. So, if he was a virgin and you are clean, what other way could you get it?

I did not bring up abortion, yes there are many people against killing innocent babies, but to each his own I suppose.

victoriaulanda · May 31, 2007, 08:33 PM

I thank you for your comments and advise, I thought this would be impartial advise, But instead seems to be views from a particular view point and way of life.
OK no one mentioned abortion but where I come from this is an option. I do disagree in some aspects but in others there is the need.
Anyway this totally straying from my questions.
I also found J_9's last comment very aggressive and I was asking that question because I did not know I thought that is what this site is about. Maybe I'd be better of on an British site of a similar nature

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by victoriaulanda

I thought this would be impartial advise, But instead seems to be views from a particular view point and way of life.

WHAT? You don't know my way of life, so...

Originally Posted by victoriaulanda

OK no one mentioned abortion but where I come from this is an option.

It is an option where I come from too. Moral option? Well that is truly up to the person who is having the abortion to decide.

Originally Posted by victoriaulanda

I also found J_9's last comment very aggressive

Ohh, are we a little sensitive? I don't see how letting you know that STDs are transmitted only through sex is aggressive, or that some people think killing innocent children is terrible can be construed as aggressive.

Hmmmm, I have no clue where all this came from?

jillianleab · May 31, 2007, 09:23 PM

I've been on birth control for six years. I've been married for five of those years and dated my husband for two years prior to that. Neither of us cheats or uses drugs that would put us as risk for getting an STD (or any other drugs for that matter!). Since I went on the pill, we have not used condoms unless I was starting a new brand or on antibiotics. I've never been pregnant. Now, I have to say, I'm VERY good about taking my pill every day, which contributes to its effectiveness. I also am under 35 and don't smoke, nor am I overweight, all factors which can change the effectiveness.

If you take the pill as instructed, it is very unlikely you will get pregnant. Not impossible, but unlikely. The pill is something like 99% effective when used properly, but the key is, well, to use it properly! When you take pills late, forget them, go on other prescription medications, smoke, etc, you increase your risk for getting pregnant.

So, if you are good about taking your pills and do not fit the risk factors, enjoy your condom-free sex with very little worry about getting pregnant. I think pregnancy is in the back of everyone's mind who has sex (as it should be), as no method but abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. But, if you DO fall into some of the risk categories, use a back up method if you are really worried. Yes, abortion is an option, but if you can prevent it with a little piece of latex, well, that's probably the better thing to do.

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by jillianleab

If you take the pill as instructed, it is very unlikely you will get pregnant. Not impossible, but unlikely. The pill is something like 99% effective when used properly, but the key is, well, to use it properly! When you take pills late, forget them, go on other prescription medications, smoke, etc, you increase your risk for getting pregnant.

Sorry, Jillian, but I got to spread the love. Although, I do have 2 children who are "pill" babies. I was EXTREMELY meticulous about taking my pill as I felt I was not ready for children. They are now almost 20 and 21. So, we do know that it does happen.

1badchoice · May 31, 2007, 09:40 PM

I am shocked that the focus on this thread is pregnancy. This seems way off. Pregnancy can be dealt with... STD's cannot always be dealt with. This should be the focus. No matter what you think... if you are not with someone every minute of the day... you have NO way of knowing if they are completely faithful. I have been in numerous relationships... and have not been cheated on. But... I have seen people do things that you never would have thought possible. Things that you would have sworn on your life they wouldn't do... yet have. Pregnancy is a minimal concern if you take the pill as prescribed. It is proven to be 99% effective. I know that failure to use a condom... is a major risk of STD's. If neither person has one... both are faithful... not IV drug users... the risk is low. Just like you thought the person you were with for 5 yr was awesome and possible forever... how do you know this relationship is so stable. People can surprise you in ways that stun you. Consider the STD side of things... some are forever. Cathy

jillianleab · Jun 1, 2007, 09:03 AM

J_9 oh it can certainly happen! You must be that lucky 1%! :)

I think it's important for women on the pill to know it is still POSSIBLE to get pregnant, though for most people who take it properly it's unlikely. If a woman on the pill is really that concerned with getting pregnant, backup methods should be used.

1badchoice of course someone never knows "for sure" that their partner is totally faithful, but sometimes you have to use your brain and put faith into people. I am 99.999999999999999% positive my husband has not and will not ever cheat on me. That's enough security for me to use the pill and nothing else. If OP has the same certainty for her partner, then she's correct in making the same decision.

victoriaulanda · Jun 1, 2007, 01:09 PM

Thank you for all your comments, I didn't mean for it to get into a heated debate or offend anyone. I fully understand all the viewpoints and really appreciate your own personal experiences.
Yeah maybe I am a little sensitive to what J_9 said but that is me... Sorry.
I respect her views and they have all been very helpful.