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    Tracey 208's Avatar
    Tracey 208 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 10, 2013, 02:58 PM
    Why my did my partner have to die?
    My partner of three years passed away on the 6/10/13 at 1135 pm. He had cancer for six months and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really going to miss him like mad. I loved him so much.
    sralovesu's Avatar
    sralovesu Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Oct 10, 2013, 03:12 PM
    Look if you really want to know he's in a better place now and I get how you feel you think its all your fault but mabey this will open your eyes and help you relize your partner would waant you to be happy its okay to grive but don't dwell on it forever okay have a great day
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #3

    Oct 10, 2013, 03:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Tracey 208 View Post
    My partner of three years passed away on the 6 . 10. 13 at 1135pm he had cancer for six months and i dont no what to do anymore im really going to miss him like mad i loved him so much
    Why did your Partner have to die? There are so many platitudes that I can spout off here that you've already heard. He had cancer. He fought and he lost. Something special disappeared and you're intimately harmed by this. It will dull and go away in time, but this will be a open wound for a good long time.

    Grieve. This is important. Make peace and accept his parting. Don't busy yourself with this and that to distract you from this. It will make it longer and worse. Just take the time and heal yourself. Ignoring this wound will make it worse.

    I don't envy you I really don't. If I were you, I would go find a close friend or family member and get them to give you a good hug and have them tell you it is going to be all right.

    I am really sorry for your loss.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Oct 10, 2013, 03:40 PM
    When you lose someone to death, you become a different person. You make the person you lost a little part of you to carry around in your heart, how you think, how you treat other people, the compassion you have for them when they are grieving too.

    Talk to him as you go about your day. Laugh when he would have laughed, and be sad when something makes you wish he were there. Don't try to fight it.

    I have loved and lost in my 66 years. The last person was my dad, the sweetest man in the world. I have little ways of 'keeping' him around, such as wearing his slippers, despite being much too big for me. For boyfriends/husbands/friends, I have mementos. Make a shelf spot as a little shrine with a picture and some little 'things' to look at. You can plant something outside, even a tree. Draw a picture, write a story, for that person. Get a kitten and name it after him.
    He is alive in you. Why did he 'have to die?' He didn't have to be born, he didn't have to live past his first second out of the womb. He just did, he grew, he met you, you loved him. There is no why. It just is.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,770, Reputation: 5427
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    #5

    Oct 10, 2013, 03:49 PM
    No one could have said it better than joypulv did.

    I too am sorry for your loss. I still miss my dad since his death in 1994.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Oct 10, 2013, 05:36 PM
    Death is the hardest thing to overcome. The death of a loved one leaves a void in our lives that nothing can fill.

    I lost both of my parents to cancer in 2001, 6 months apart. To this day I still miss them, I still mourn them, I still long for them.

    This loss is very new, and feeling bereft, like you don't know how to go on, is normal.

    I'm not sure where you live. Where I live we have a cancer hospital. That's where my parents went for treatment, that's where my dad died. They offer counseling to all patients, and family members. It did help me a lot.

    I'm not saying I'm over it. I doubt I ever will be. But I was able to go on with my life, and find joy in things again.

    Counseling is something I'd highly recommend.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

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