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    chookkii's Avatar
    chookkii Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 12, 2008, 06:25 AM
    What do I write in a sympathy card to neighbours I don't know
    Hi,
    Our neighbours across the road from us just recently lost their 19 year old son in a car accident and although we don't know them, it has really affected my husband and I in a big way and we would like to send them a sympathy card but are unsure of what to write. The only thing I can think of without sounding stupid is if I just put - We just wanted to let you know that our thoughts are with you, from your neighbours at number... - its not saying a lot but I don't know what else to put. Anyone got any ideas?

    Thanks
    Chookkii
    maizon's Avatar
    maizon Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Dec 12, 2008, 06:40 AM

    Why don't you say[ althogh my family and I can not bring him back but our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family please let us know if we can help in any way]what you should do is go over with a dish or something and pay your respects.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #3

    Dec 12, 2008, 06:42 AM

    Dear neighbors,

    Although we haven't spent much time together, you've always been those proverbial "good neighbors." I hate that your loss is the thing that has spurned my contact, but please know that you are in my prayers. If I can do anything at all, please let me know.

    I hope and pray that we can become more than neighbors.

    Blessings,
    (your name)

    How's that?
    maizon's Avatar
    maizon Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 12, 2008, 06:55 AM

    You know in the time of death it doesn't matter that you knew each other now or yester year just write our heart felt sympathy to you and your family from the -----------family
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:05 AM
    I agree with making a dinner and going over and introducing yourselves. Let them know that you will be there if and when they need you.
    maizon's Avatar
    maizon Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:11 AM

    Thank you because for some reason taking a dish over in any situation breaks the ice and while there pay your respects stay a while you might fell uncomfortable but find someone to make small talk with
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #7

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:20 AM

    Having gone through a death in the family, I"m not sure "staying a while" is the best course of action, but I do (wholeheartedly) support the idea of making a meal. When we were dealing with my Dad's death, the thought of making dinner was just not on the radar.... but I also really disliked when people "dropped by" - small talk is never comfortable for anyone.

    A nice card, accompanied by maizon's suggestion to make dinner, is a perfect idea. :)
    maizon's Avatar
    maizon Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:26 AM

    Great] I remembered when my dad died in all her grief my mom she received people with a smile even though her heart was breaking ,that's why they say everyone deal with grief diffrently
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #9

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:32 AM

    Very true... and this family may just need someone to listen... or just an affirmation that someone is there if they need it.

    Play it by ear... :)

    You're a good neighbor to care enough to ask this question. :)
    maizon's Avatar
    maizon Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:38 AM

    Eloquently put
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Dec 13, 2008, 08:16 AM

    When I lost my husband every note, every card was a comfort. Many people just said, "I'm so sorry for your loss" and that was sufficient. I didn't have the heart to see people or read lengthy messages.

    Everyone, of course, is different. People who knew him said, "I remember the time ..." and that was comforting, too.

    I don't think it has to be complicated.
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