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sherril · Sep 15, 2009, 10:42 PM

I don't know how to deal with the sudden death of my Mother. She was about to turn 60 then all of a sudden she was gone! It is so over whelming. My 6 year old always asks if I am crying cause I miss her and she tells me the Nana will always be in my heart, but I would give anything for one more of her hugs and to be able to say goodbye! I work full time and have 4 kids to take care of but I don't even know how to deal with my feelings let alone theirs!

1800proof · Sep 22, 2009, 05:07 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure you feel as if no one understands your grief, but your children (and spouse?) will help you heal. It hurts them to see you sad. When my Dad died 5 years ago, I remember my kids (3 & 11) doing their best to offer me comfort. The best thing you can do is let them. They feel great, and when you see the children that you could not have had without your mother, you will appreciate your mother even more. Only time heals this type of pain.

Not a day has gone by in the last 5 years that I hadn't thought about my Dad, but I have learned to appreciate his life rather than mourne his death. When I imagine his spirit, it's always him standing next to me smiling to share my good times or trying to comfort me when I'm feeling sad. I know it's hard right now, but appreciating the good times helps as well... it especially helped me when I told my kids stories about their Grandpa, even when the stories only made sense or were meaningful to me... them listening helped a lot, and as young as they were, understood I was grieving and just needed someone to listen.