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    Wendy37's Avatar
    Wendy37 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 21, 2013, 08:20 PM
    My son died and I don't understand.
    My son died on Sunday night and I can't cope at all. I just don't understand at all.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    Sep 21, 2013, 08:32 PM
    I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it just helps talking about it. How old was he? How did he pass?
    Comeandgetme12's Avatar
    Comeandgetme12 Posts: 99, Reputation: -5
    Junior Member

    Sep 21, 2013, 08:34 PM
    There is no way to understand something so tragic. No parent wants to bury their child, but unfortunately it happens to some unlucky individuals. Talking about your feelings are good in general, so maybe get a therapist. Some people are repulsed by this idea, however it has paid off to many people who have had therapy. I don't believe it is ever expected to forget or to get over the fact you lost your son, but its moving on with your life. It obviously won't be an overnight thing, and I know the phrase "phrase moving on with your life" may sound incredible and impossible hence it being so soon. But that is something that you will want to do, for you, your son whom wouldn't want you to be depressed for life, the rest of your family and especially if you have other children. I witnessed one on my half sisters father saying he wished she had died instead his son. That is a feeling I'm sure wouldn't wish on anyone directly or passively, let alone your own kid(s). Just remember your surrounded by people who love you and your son, and that you aren't grieving alone.
    I hope was a help. I'm sorry for your loss.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Sep 22, 2013, 01:58 AM
    Take time to grieve. Part of grieving is asking WHY. There is no answer, although all religions try to, as well as philosophies. Part of asking WHY is being angry at the world, at God, at yourself, at doctors, and drunk drivers, at everyone and anyone. That's normal and you have to let it out. Part of grieving is guilt, which we all feel - it just means you are a good person. Part of grieving, the biggest part, is just feeling the loss, and there's no reason why you should force it back down.
    If people say stupid things to you such as 'time heals all wounds' or 'he's in a better place,' just walk away or say you have to get off the phone. They mean well.
    The saying we all know that really means something is 'No parent should have to outlive their child.' But life is unfair. Life's 'shoulds' just don't always work the way we want.

    Tell us how you lost your son, if you will.

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