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    bt2007's Avatar
    bt2007 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 15, 2010, 01:13 PM
    I lost my fiancé, and it's hard to be happy. What can I do?
    It's been two months since his death and I am four and a half months pregnant, we have a three year old son also. How do I keep myself from falling?
    pmjlghrs's Avatar
    pmjlghrs Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #2

    Feb 3, 2011, 07:51 PM
    I'm far from your position, but I've been through a lot of grief and loss. It's hard to say really, but I find the best way to keep moving on is by believing that everything happens for a reason. I'm sure you've heard that many times, and it may have been frustrating, but there is sense to it. While the reason for what happened may not be clear, it it best to look to your future. Don't get caught up in what you've lost. That's just going to make things worse. Look to what your future holds with your child and soon to be second child. While it may not be easy, it is apparently your purpose to raise those kids. Having a purpose may be your best consolation.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Feb 4, 2011, 02:14 PM

    I'm a widow. I know the grieving process or, at least, how it affected me, how I experienced it. I did not have small children nor was I pregnant so we have somewhat different circumstances.

    Grief is a process, a long and slow process. I appreciate that you have to stay strong for your children but you also have to take care of yourself.

    Do you have an outlet, someone you can talk to, someone who will listen? I found the best friends simply called and said, "How are you?" and listened. I didn't need to hear why my husband died, what they thought he would want, how I should keep going. I needed somebody to hear me.

    My life has gone on, I have recently remarried (to a widower who understands) BUT I still have days when I'm brought to my knees.

    Counselling works for some people. Other people get a great deal of support from a group.

    I wish I had a magic cure for you. I wish I could hold your hand and listen.

    I am sorry and someone is always here if you want to share.

    If you are up to it (and I found it helpful for me) - tell us about him. What made him special? Why did you love him? Does his son look like him? Maybe you aren't ready for that now but if you are... I'd like to hear about him.
    thunder39's Avatar
    thunder39 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 9, 2011, 10:13 PM

    BLESS YOU. Pray and keep yourself busy. Look for things you can do to help others. You will heal and be blessed by doing so. Ill remembered you in my prayers. +++

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