[lakishagumbs]

I lost my baby when I was 6 months pregnant and woukld like to know what do you do with the baby

[Wondergirl]

If it were my baby, I would have a private funeral with a minister or priest, plus family with me to help me grieve. I would bury the baby in a cemetery or have the body cremated.

This was a living person and deserves love and respect.

[Stringer]

Maybe I am just stupid (no comments please) but aren't there laws which deal with this. I mean things that have to be done such as a death certificate, proper burial, etc?

[J_9]

Maybe I am just stupid (no comments please) but aren't there laws which deal with this. I mean things that have to be done such as a death certificate, proper burial, etc?

The laws depend on the location. Where I am the baby has to weigh over 900 grams to be able to be given to the parents for burial.

The first thing that happens is that the organ donation bank is called. Typically though, they are turned down for donation.

If the baby weighs over 900 grams the family chooses a funeral home for burial and the funeral director comes and sits with the family for counseling, then the director, or his agent, takes the body in a casket that our hospital provides.

The baby is NEVER released to the parents directly.

To the OP, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I know how hard this can be for you. I hope you come back and post your location so that we may be able to help you better.

[Stringer]

Thank you J. I wasn't trying to be heartless, I feel really bad for her loss. I guess I was just somewhat shocked and that was my first reaction.

OP, I am sorry hon and I hope you have family with you to help you.

[donf]

Lakisha,

I am so sorry for your loss. My Lady and I have been through this three times.

There were several options given to us.

1) We could have donated the infant's body to medical study. We never chose this option.

2) Some cemeteries have a "potters field" arrangement. The cemetery will bury the infant's body at an undisclosed location. There are no witnesses for this event, not even a Priest or Minister.

3) Some cemeteries offer a "Baby Land". This is a section of the cemetery that is solely used for the bodies of infants who passed away in child birth.

4) You can purchase a family cemetery plot, we did for two of our sons. You can then have just about any type service you want. We chose graveside services administered by a Priest from our Church.

Again, from the bottom of my soul, I am sorry for the loss of your child. If I could reach out and hug you I would gladly hold you and try to comfort you.

[donf]

Lakisha,

I do not know your familiar situation but if you are married I would ask you to talk with your husband about the grief and guilt you may be carrying.

Losing a child is not the same for a male as it is for a woman. For me, (and I have to speak for myself here because I have no idea how other guys would respond) I just did not realize how deeply my Lady was hurt by the loss.

I could not fathom why she would cry for no reason or why she would rage at the simplest of problems. The toughest part was understanding that there was nothing I could do but hold her and support her. There was nothing I could do to fix the problem. It was really the first time I had ever felt helpless which was something I had never had to deal with.

I had no concept of the pain my Lady was carrying inside her. The guilt that her body had failed her. The guilt that she had failed me by losing the child.

I suspect that for my Lady was so different and painful because of the pregnancy. For us, each pregnancy lasted 5 months. During that time my Lady carried this little life inside of her. The moving (swimming of the little guy). The relationship and love for the little guy started the instant she was pregnant.

That's something us guys don't really understand. I know it now but not then.

So where am I going with this? If your husband acts like he doesn't care or seems to be ignoring what happened, he is probably like I was.

He does not understand, he cannot fix it or make it better and he has no idea how he can help you.

Your job is going to be tough because you have to teach him what is going on inside of you.

Be patient with him and he will get to where you need him to be.

[answerme_tender]

Lakisha--

Girlfriend of mine, just went through this loss a year ago. She and her husband choose to have their son, Robert buried in the local cemetery. My friend has said that being able to go to his grave has helped her mourning.
Iam so sorry for the loss of your child. Whatever you and husband decide will be the right choice.