[MrzJohnson26]

Is there an easy way of letting go of someone you really love if all they do is scream at you, get in your face and break your things. Me and my husband have been together for 4 years and married almost 3. We just had our first child together on August 28th... Things were going fine but I noticed that my husband treats our daughter different then he does his 8 year old he has with his ex. Yesterday me and my husband had gotten into a fight because he wanted to let his son eat in the bedroom and I said that I didn't think that was a good idea because his son doesn't clean up after himself.. We fought for 9 hours, he was calling me every name in the book and breaking my cd's, I had finally had enough "we fight a lot" and I told him I wanted to leave he kept telling me to leave but I wasn't allowed to take my daughter finally he got on his knees, started crying and asked me to stay... I'm confused and all this stress is making me unhappy, angry and bitter toward people, I don't like being that way...

How do I let him know that she is just as important as his son, without offending him and starting an argument?

[cdad]

Maybe what you need to do is look up online for parenting classes in your area. And a good therapist for the both of you. That kind of behavior around the children can be damaging. Does the boy live with you full time or with his ex as custodial parent ?

[JudyKayTee]

I find this confusing - you are trying to have another child with this man? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/nursin...nt-606095.html

I'm not certain what the status of your relationship is but it does not appear stable. Your other thread indicates that your neighbors have called the Police when you were fighting - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...er-607577.html

I think you both need counselling - and perhaps his son, too, before he is scarred by all of this drama.

[Fr_Chuck]

When he started breaking things, the police should have been called.

[MrzJohnson26]

Califdadof3, my husband and his ex don't have custody established, he lives with his mom, my husband just goes and gets him when he wants to, his sons mom is more concerned about partying then being a mom. Now as I have said me and my husband have been together for 4 years and married 3. Ever since we got together I have been more of a mom, buying him food, clothes, toys, christmas stuff, school supplies. I guess maybe I am a bit overwhelmed because I do all this stuff but don't really feel appreciated. But I love my husband, more then anything, but his son runs him, my husband doesn't really make parenting decisions, he leaves the decisions up to his son because one time his son used one of the hand towels to wipe his butt "mind u he is 8" and my husband didn't punish him or say anything to him about it because his son said he didn't think he should get in trouble. In my opinion his son is out of control, and my husband basically wants me to let him treat me the way he does him and I'm sorry I'm not going to answer to an 8 year old kid. But if I voice my opinion on anything he tells me I'm wrong and that his son doesn't want to come here anymore because I make him follow rules. Am I doing something wrong, I was always raised that kids need lmitations and someone to set them straight when they are going down the wrong path.

[JudyKayTee]

You both need to speak to a counsellor or therapist.

You have a violent history together - that's never good and it's often a disaster.

I feel sorry for the child - his mother drinks and parties (your words) and his father is apparently abusive and violent.

Someone needs to call CPS - minimally.

[talaniman]

You two need some serious guidance in learning how to discuss within boundaries of good behavior and both you impulsive people need some discipline, and self control about yourselves.

Get some help, as you both are wrong, and dangerous to yourselves, and you kids. Maybe not physically. I mean what the freak could your house be like if you both fight for 9 hours? That's ridicules. Not to be harsh, but there has to be a better way, after 4 years and kids, my gosh if you have no clues then get help and learn some coping skills.

but I noticed that my husband treats our daughter different then he does his 8 year old he has with his ex.

Well DUH, and eight year old and an infant?? They ARE different, or maybe its just me?

[MrzJohnson26]

Just because we fight doesn't mean anything about my house, excuse me, my house is just fine and no they shouldn't be treated different just because of age. He shouldn't neglect one kid just because the other is older "DUH"

[JudyKayTee]

I'm sorry but if your house is the scene of a 9-hour "fight" it is not "fine" and also not suitable for children. Are you aware that if someone had called the Police you could have lost custody?