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babymkr200 · Aug 14, 2009, 12:38 PM

I am writing a letter to my fiancé who is dying from cancer. He's in the hospital now, rarely ever conscious, and is expected to pass away anytime now. He's only 25. I am finding that this is one of the hardest things to do, to say goodbye to someone you love. I've been delaying and delaying this because it hurts so much and I don't want to say goodbye; I don't and simply can't accept what is about to happen. He onlys has maybe a few days at the most so I know now is the time to do this. I will probably end up reading the letter to him; more than likely he won't be awake or too weak to read it himself. I don't know where to begin, what to say, or how to end it. I love him so much. I will miss him... :(

Thank you

lolo620 · Aug 14, 2009, 07:38 PM

It just broke my heart to read about your situation. I can only imagine how you feel, what a terrible thing to happen to someone so young. I feel that no matter what anyone says it could never do justice than just speaking from your heart. I am so sorry for you and families involved. I firmly believe that even though he may not be conscious he can hear you. Get all your feelings and emotions out to him, let them be heard. He could take those words to his heart and hold them forever. I believe that this may also give you some closure in a sense. All too oftern we lose loved ones without getting a chance to say goodbye. This is your chance... God bless and be well

herc56789 · Aug 16, 2009, 07:48 AM

I have lost several people in my life and I've found a simple heart-felt talk is the best. Just tell him how much you love him and how proud of him you are (it's good to hear this when you're struggling through the end of life process).

And reassure him that you're okay and that he doesn't need to worry about you. Just talk to him as you normally would. A goodbye doesn't need to be formal, just a way of letting someone know you love them -- that you hold him in your heart always, that you cherish all the good times you've shared. The point right now is to comfort and make his passing easier -- not to scare him or upset him -- just speak form your heart and you'll be fine.

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2009, 09:21 AM

I spent the afternoon with my husband before he was taken off life support. I simply talked to him the same way we talked every other day of our lives. I told him that I was keeping this promise (taking him off life support) because I loved him and for no other reason.

And then I said that I was sorry for anything I had ever done that made him unhappy; that I forgave him for anything he had ever done that made me unhappy; that I would always love him; that I would always miss him; that I would go on and I never dishonor his name or memory.

And then I said that knowing what I knew at that moment I would still do it all over again.

Did he hear me? I don't know. I hope he did. He died quietly and peaceful.

artlady · Aug 21, 2009, 09:28 AM

I am so sorry for your pain.
I would speak from the heart.Just tell him how you feel and hold his hand.
He may not hear you but I believe the love will be communicated loud and clear.