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redwing59 · Jan 17, 2013, 06:14 PM

I lost my Dad in April 2012. I have noticed and my boyfriend that Im not the positive happy person I was. Im easily dfrustrated angry and negative. Not my jolly self and I hate that. Im angry with God and everyone. I have gone to groups at church but they make me more sad. Is there any easy way to be myself again? I seem to be pushing my boyfriend away and I love him very much as he has been with me through this terrible time. Will I get over it, be myself and stop being angry with God?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 17, 2013, 06:29 PM

How old was your dad ? How did he die ?

We all die, that is just a natural part of life, people are not here forever. After they are gone we need to live out life in a memory of them, live in a way that would honor them, not put a dishonor. Would your dad want you to ruin your life or relationship over him ? I would guess not. Can you carry on a tradition or practice he did.

Also just going to a group once or twice will not do anything, you may need professional counseling for months if this is a serious issue for you.

But why are you mad at God, God does not allow us to live forever, in fact from the view point of most faiths, we have to die to go further along in the path to be with him.

redwing59 · Jan 17, 2013, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

How old was your dad ? how did he die ?

We all die, that is just a natural part of life, people are not here forever. After they are gone we need to live out life in a memory of them, live in a way that would honor them, not put a dishonor. Would your dad want you to ruin your life or relationship over him ? I would guess not. Can you carry on a tradition or practice he did.

Also just going to a group once or twice will not do anything, you may need professional counseling for months if this is a serious issue for you.

But why are you mad at God, God does not allow us to live forever, in fact from the view point of most faiths, we have to die to go further along in the path to be with him.

My dad was 75. He had leukemia. Was tired the week before went into the hospital. One day he's better looking forward to home 2 days later comes down with sepsis and passes away within 5 days. I seem to be mad a God as I always asked and prayed to him everyday to allow my Dad to get better, see his only grandchild graduate high school and that I have more time to visit him more.(I in Florida Dad in Michigan)Isnt that what we do we pray to God for the people we love?Have much guilt for not seeing him more. I just want to get rid of the sadness and anger. I want to be myself again. I guess I want it overnite. I started a journal since he passed and have talked to the church. I guess I don't understand why? I just want him back and I know that can't be. How do I get over it soon? I need and want my old self back. Is God the answer there? I feel I have lost my faith through this. How do I get that back?

Oliver2011 · Jan 22, 2013, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by redwing59

My dad was 75. He had leukemia. Was tired the week before went into the hospital. One day hes better looking forward to home 2 days later comes down with sepsis and passes away within 5 days. I seem to be mad a God as I always asked and prayed to him everyday to allow my Dad to get better, see his only grandchild graduate high school and that I have more time to visit him more.(I in Florida Dad in Michigan)Isnt that what we do we pray to God for the people we love?Have much guilt for not seeing him more. I just want to get rid of the sadness and anger. I want to be myself again. I guess I want it overnite. I started a journal since he passed and have talked to the church. I guess I dont understand why? I just want him back and I know that can't be. How do I get over it soon? I need and want my old self back. Is God the answer there? I feel I have lost my faith thru this. How do I get that back?

My mother passed away 5 years ago from Alzheimer's. My dad passed away 2 months later from the brain tumor. I know what you have been through. What gave me comfort is saying my mom no longer has Alzheimer's and my dad no longer has a brain tumor.

It is a normal reaction to get angry. Remember God doesn't promise us so much time on this earth. I am thankful I had my parents for the time I had my parents with me. We read this at my mom's funeral and I think it is absolutely appropriate:

God saw you were getting tired
And a cure was not to be
So he put His arms around you
And whispered, "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes I watched you,
And saw you pass away.
Although I loved you dearly...
I could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands at rest.
God broke my heart to prove to me
He only takes the best.

I wish you all the best.

JudyKayTee · Jan 22, 2013, 10:55 AM

I was widowed - the only "cure" is time. I've seen those left behind mad at God, mad at the deceased person, mad at everyone who walks the Earth. I found all the "God's will" in the World made little difference to me.

You have to find what will bring you peace - therapy to let the anger out, time alone, time not alone, whatever works for you. No people grieve the same way.

I'm sorry for your loss - grief is such an individualized thing.

If your question is about religion and God, then perhaps a post on the religious boards will give you comfort.

(Please, when posting poems, give the writer, quote directly from the best source. That is not the exact wording.)