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    nikitakhoo's Avatar
    nikitakhoo Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 2, 2014, 05:59 AM
    Getting over death of boyfriend.
    I am a teenager who lost my boyfriend to suicide in 2013. Till today I still suffering from survival guilt and have nights where I cannot fall asleep as I am feeling very depressed over his death. I have tried everything possible and I am still having trouble falling asleep at night for the past few months. I still love my boyfriend to bits and would do anything to bring him back. Now I am in a new relationship and we are always fighting about something. I feel that I changed in a bad way and I have tried seeking help from psychiatrist but still no use. I think I need help, what should I do?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    May 2, 2014, 06:04 AM
    I think you do need help as well... sometimes you just need to find the right doctor for you. Just because the last one didn't work out doesn't mean the next one won't.

    Every doctor has their own style... and finding the one that's the best match for you might mean changing them a few times until you find the right one.

    Don't give up because the first one didn't work out.
    nikitakhoo's Avatar
    nikitakhoo Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 2, 2014, 06:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    I think you do need help as well... sometimes you just need to find the right doctor for you. Just because the last one didn't work out doesn't mean the next one won't.

    Every doctor has their own style... and finding the one that's the best match for you might mean changing them a few times until you find the right one.
    I feeling like I am on the verge of insanity, one moment I am calm, one moment I just want to cry, and another I just want to smash things around.. I am scared and I don't know what to do..
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    May 2, 2014, 06:13 AM
    Like I sad... find a different doctor... hopefully that one will be a better match for you and will be able to help you. There is no need to be suffering like this when there is plenty of help out there. Don't be afraid of changing doctors until you find one you are really comfortable with. This is more important in the psyciatric field than most others. Not every doctor is a perfect fit for every patient.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,253, Reputation: 5642
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    #5

    May 2, 2014, 06:24 AM
    You might need to find yourself a grief counselor rather than a psychiatrist. I am so sorry for your loss.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #6

    May 2, 2014, 07:46 AM
    Yes, so sorry for you. Bereavement counselling may be the way to go. If he was buried from a funeral parlour in your area, they may have a bereavement counsellor. Most funeral homes offer this service these days.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,272, Reputation: 7690
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    #7

    May 2, 2014, 07:29 PM
    I agree, professional counseling, also, it can take months and months of counseling, if you went a few weeks or even a couple of months, and quit, one has to go a long time
    Illusion's Avatar
    Illusion Posts: 195, Reputation: 33
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    #8

    May 10, 2014, 11:45 AM
    It sounds like your physical suffering - not sleeping - is a part of your grief and sadness. And the thing is - that grief takes us completely - it asks of us our full attention and that is why it is so painful - as you know - and as many of us know and have lived. You may need to speak with your doctor and find out if you can get something to help you sleep - even if it is a small dose. Know that this is temporary and that your love for your boyfriend will give you courage. You need to rest, and cry and talk to other people - and rest some more and cry some more and know that you are going to be well. At this time, you may also need to find your spiritual connection to the universe - whether you believe in God or something else - something that is going to re-assure you that your boyfriend is at peace and does not blame you for what happened. He is at peace and you need to know this so that you can go on. Our love for someone does not stop when they die - it goes on and that love lives on in us. You are heartbroken and that is why you are struggling. Do get counseling and also search out someone in the spiritual community that you can talk with - whether that be a minister or someone else.

    I do believe that our spirit never dies and that we live on in the stars and the universe - and we continue to love those we left behind. We just move on to our maker.

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