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    asianrave's Avatar
    asianrave Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jun 19, 2010, 12:31 PM
    Coping with the death of your first love
    I just recently found out that my Bf just couldn`t hold on any longer... he was diagnosed with Small cell carcinoma. When we started , he had to go to the hospital , since his he was bleeding , I was scared , I thought that was the worst it could get .
    One night he told me that he was dying , tears dripping down both of our faces , he doesn`t cry since he says it`s "" but that night , he couldnt hold them in "how am I suppose to tell the love of my life , that I`m dying" "don`t let this hold you back , find someone that`ll make you happy.. sad to say". Though our 5 months is in just a couple days , it`s heartbreaking he`s not here to share it with me . He was perfect for me , I loved the things he hated about himself , he`s just like me , talks like me , it`s insane , most of all loved me regardless of my appearance , but for what makes up me .
    I can`t even touch my phone , I texted him "Go to the hospital now" cause the pain was ubearable that night , he knew he would have to stay there , what really got me is the last thing he told me was "bye bye <3" still hits me . I admit , I`m young , we both are young he`s just 8 days older than me .
    I accepted it , we knew it was all coming , but it turns out , I`m not dealing with any of this well . Suicidal thoughts are just bleeding out of my mind , I feel like ripping my skin apart... I just don`t want to wake up in tears every morning . What do I do ? I must admit , it`s so hard when your parents just don`t understand , I can`t even go to my family . Life`s lonely & I wan`t out .
    Maybe it was a bad idea... texting him , though I knew that I won`t ever get a response back .
    ---sowiee for my life story ):
    Thankies , I just really need all the help .
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member

    Jun 19, 2010, 12:40 PM

    Losing someone you love throws you into a spiral of grief that seems endless.

    It takes time for the shock to subside,and to be able to think about the person and smile at their memory.

    Right now you need to get emotional support,you say your family don't understand,try talking to them again,you don't say how old you are,but you need to speak to someone,your doctor,a friend,maybe his family or a support group.

    There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to grief,everyone finds their own way through it.

    If you click on the Bereavement forum/threads there are lots of stories of how people coped and found their way through the pain.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Jun 19, 2010, 12:47 PM

    I have seen two wives pass away, and I will say that there is no one way to get over the pain, Time in and of itself can help if we work at making sure we put it all in place.

    First they loved us, they would want us to live and be happy, They would want us to follow our dreams and goals in life.

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