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    ftempana's Avatar
    ftempana Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 26, 2010, 06:19 PM
    I cannot get over my brothers death of 3 years
    I lost my brother 3 years ago and think about him daily. I am married and have 2 children and they do not understand why I am still feeling this way. I cannot go to his house to visit his wife and sons because all I want to do is cry. My nephew is getting married soon and I do not know if I can make it through the wedding. I think I may not attend because it will be a happy occasion for him but I will be feeling sad thinking that my brother. I talk to my friends all the time but it still does not help. I think I feel guilty if I would begin to accept.
    unluckynut's Avatar
    unluckynut Posts: 294, Reputation: 23
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    #2

    Jan 26, 2010, 06:34 PM

    You should visit your sister in law and go to the wedding. My brother just past last year and when we get together we cry sometimes but we all talk about him, and remember the good times. You'll never get over him if you don't talk about how you feel. Share all the things you remember and celebrate his life, and help celebrate his kids life. Try to find something of your brothers or even write down something about his wedding and include it in your card to the happy couple. Maybe make a book of all the memories and write them down things you don't want anyone to forget about him. You can ask family and friends to add to your book. Keep all his memories in your heart nice and close to you. And talk about him, we go visit my sister in law and talk all day and night about him all weekend long. We have a great time Good luck! He's been watching over you and just celebrate the times you did have with him. Gol bless!
    321543's Avatar
    321543 Posts: 72, Reputation: 10
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2010, 01:55 PM

    Survivors guilt is not uncommon. I can not, nor will I begin to say I know what you feel. Each of us deal with our own pain in our own way.

    I will ask you to do a couple of things that may help you. Remember that each and everyday we are given to live is a gift. Death is not a bad thing nor is it the end.
    The trials you are suffering now are a test, try and endure them. First by teaching your brothers loved ones, about the things you used to do togather. Allowing your love and his memory to grow forever and ever in there hearts and minds. You will be blessed for it in the end will see your brother in his own children, if you watch carefully. You will also have discovered a greater love of a different kind. That he was with you all along, but a bit different. Only you had to discover and find him.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Jan 30, 2010, 08:24 PM

    Please go to your nephews wedding. If you don't it will only be one more thing to grieve about. Think of this; if you had been the one who died and your son or daughter getting married would he miss such a wonderful occasion or would he go and hide his grief for the sake of your child's happy occasion? Think of him and picture him looking down at you on his child's wedding day, smiling and saying; I knew you could do it. God Bless You
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #5

    Jan 30, 2010, 08:31 PM

    First go to visit and cry and cry and cry and get moving though the grief process.

    But this also appears to be effecting your life, and after 3 years shows signs of being fairly serious, so perhaps a professional couselor that can help in grief counseling
    IamMeyouAreyou's Avatar
    IamMeyouAreyou Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Jan 30, 2010, 08:56 PM

    My father and mother just died. I am nine years old. My father oncetold me, if you spend too much time in the dirt, then your going to get dirty. If you think about it you'll realize that no one benefits from being dirty. This wedding is an important step in the grieving process, this will help you accept his death. If you cannot get over this time for you, then do it for your family.

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