Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Charmed24's Avatar
    Charmed24 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Apr 3, 2016, 09:55 PM
    How do I tell my mom I want a nose job?
    For as long as I can remember I have always hated my nose. I didn't get in an accident or anything but for some reason it has a big bump on it. I've been looking up information about this since I was in grade 6 or 7 probably. (Now 17 and in grade 12).I always hated a bunch of stuff about myself. I got braces to fix my teeth. I had plastic surgery in my ears because they stuck out like a lot. It was easier to tell my mom I wanted the ear surgery than this will be. The ear surgery was covered by OHIP because I was under 18. But a nose job.. That's thousands of dollars. I've looked up every possible way I could fix my nose without surgery but I honk they're all scams. Some people might think this is dumb and that I shouldn't change who I am but, I just want to feel pretty. My nose is the last thing on my list that I need to change. My parents are pretty well off. But they're not like rich or anything. I truly don't know if they could afford it. The closest place to my town that does the surgery says it has a monthly payment plan so I don't know how that would work or how much it would be. Anyway I just have no idea how to ask her about this. I'm very insecure and this is 100% something I want to do. I don't think I would regret this when I'm older because my nose is literally the ugliest thing anyone's every seen. So there's no changing my mind on this, it's years and years of me wanting to do this. I think my mom knows about my hate for my nose because whenever I take my glasses off I hide it. My glasses kind of hide the bump if I sit them a certain way. Which brings up my reason for needing to ask her asap. I start college next year which requires me wearing goggles which won't fit over my glasses. What will I do? Anyway I'm going to go back to crying about this now.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
    Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 4, 2016, 02:42 AM
    You don't, you wait till you are old enough, and have you own money to get one done.

    Also, about 80 percent of people that get nose jobs always want more. Plastic surgery is addictive with people wanting perfect. I would even guess that almost no one even notices, and only would if you draw attention to it.

    My honest advice, spend the money in counseling to learn to love yourself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,135, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 4, 2016, 03:46 AM
    You've done your "homework" for this nose job, so you just present it, and see what your mom says. If it's NO, then you get some goggles that fit over your glasses. No amount of surgery will make you feel better about yourself, so maybe what you need is a job to help afford the changes you want. What's next a boob job?

    I agree that the money would be better spent on counselling, which the insurance probably covers. It may not change the outer YOU, but it's the inner you that needs work.
    Charmed24's Avatar
    Charmed24 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Apr 4, 2016, 07:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You've done your "homework" for this nose job, so you just present it, and see what your mom says. If it's NO, then you get some goggles that fit over your glasses. No amount of surgery will make you feel better about yourself, so maybe what you need is a job to help afford the changes you want. What's next a boob job?

    I agree that the money would be better spent on counselling, which the insurance probably covers. It may not change the outer YOU, but it's the inner you that needs work.
    Nvm I knew no one would understand
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,286, Reputation: 5645
    Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 4, 2016, 08:08 AM
    But we do understand. You see, the people who have responded to your question are adults. Many of us have children or grandchildren your age. We have all been where you are now. Every single one of us had something we wanted to change on our bodies when we were 17.

    The he issue is, beauty fades, even with plastic surgery. The saying "beauty is only skin deep" may be cliché, but is so very true you don't have the ability to comprehend it at your tender age.

    The people who will love you forever aren't focused on your physical flaws, they are focused on who you are as a person.

    Oh, and I understand more than you know. I wanted breast implants when I was your age. At 32 I got them. It wasn't a choice, it was because I had breast cancer. To this day, and I'm now 51, I wish I had the breasts God gave me. The scars are horrendous. Being beautiful on the outside doesn't make you beautiful on the inside. Internal beauty is what your future mate will love you for, not your nose.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #6

    Apr 4, 2016, 10:21 AM
    After reading your other questions and posts, I think this is another symptom of your not being okay with yourself. The main issue I see is that a nose job won't change who you are because who you are is not what is on the outside (appearance), it is what is on the inside. It won't stop you from being insecure. If anything, it will add to the insecurity. It won't magically make you feel beautiful because you don't see yourself as beautiful.

    You are focusing on a surgery making you like yourself. That same surgery could go wrong leaving you with scars, a larger bump, or other issues. It could be what you wanted but because of the insecurities you are still seeing it as flawed. It could shift your focus to not liking other parts. It happens all the time with people who are insecure about themselves and their looks. I know you don't think you would end up like one woman who has turned herself into a living Barbie doll, but this is how she started out. She still isn't happy with herself after countless surgeries and procedures.

    I do think you should tell your mother you are unhappy with your nose, but I don't think you should tell her that you want surgery. Talk with her about your insecurities instead of telling her what you think you want. Ask for her advice and discuss the issue.

    I also think you need to talk to someone such as a counselor who who will listen and help you find security inside yourself. If you can become more comfortable with who you are and still want to consider surgery, then look into it. But find peace within yourself before you make major changes that can make things worse instead of better.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Apr 4, 2016, 07:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Charmed24 View Post
    Nvm I knew no one would understand
    Yes we do... we also understand the value of a dollar... (yen, Peso, Euro, etc... )

    and it's a LOT... and I do mean a LOT of money. And its NOT covered by insurance.

    Beyond the other points so well made by others.

    This is something you pay for yourself when you are an adult. When you find out how long it takes to save enough to pay for after your living expenses and other bills... you will unlikely find yourself getting one.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
    Expert
     
    #8

    Apr 4, 2016, 10:28 PM
    I made a choice years ago, not to have the eye surgery that would make my eyes look the same size. Because it does not change who I am inside. No one mentions it, except a small child now and then, and when I look in the mirror, I couldn't care less.

    Took a year or so, to get used to the loss of hair and the grey, I even dyed it a few times, but decided, that is not the true me.

    We are, who and how God made us. Each of us for a reason a certain way.

    You need to find a way to be happy with you. And then when you don't think you need a nose job, then you could get one, if you decided it was really an issue then.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #9

    Apr 5, 2016, 06:03 PM
    I get that you're unhappy with yourself. Everyone on this planet is unhappy about some aspect of themselves.

    I hate my nose too, I always have. I also want a breast reduction, and to lose 80 pounds, to be able to buy skinny jeans and look amazing in them, to look like all the airbrushed models in the magazines that don't even actually look like that because of airbrushing.

    No one on this Earth is perfect. We all have things we hate about ourselves, and anyone that says they don't, is lying.

    But are your looks really that important? Why do you cry about this? You are who you are. You care about how you look, but I promise you that anyone that is worth knowing, won't see the nose you hate, or anything else you hate, about yourself. They'll see you. But first you have to like you!

    A nose job isn't going to change how you feel. You'll just find the next supposed flaw that only you see! You need to learn to love yourself for who and what you are.

    You need therapy kiddo. You need to learn to love yourself. Then, in many years, when you're an adult and well adjusted, then you can spend thousands on a nose job if you still want to. But I promise you, a new nose isn't going to make you happy. It's much deeper than that.
    Charmed24's Avatar
    Charmed24 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Apr 5, 2016, 07:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    But we do understand. You see, the people who have responded to your question are adults. Many of us have children or grandchildren your age. We have all been where you are now. Every single one of us had something we wanted to change on our bodies when we were 17.

    The he issue is, beauty fades, even with plastic surgery. The saying "beauty is only skin deep" may be cliché, but is so very true you don't have the ability to comprehend it at your tender age.

    The people who will love you forever aren't focused on your physical flaws, they are focused on who you are as a person.

    Oh, and I understand more than you know. I wanted breast implants when I was your age. At 32 I got them. It wasn't a choice, it was because I had breast cancer. To this day, and I'm now 51, I wish I had the breasts God gave me. The scars are horrendous. Being beautiful on the outside doesn't make you beautiful on the inside. Internal beauty is what your future mate will love you for, not your nose.
    This makes me feel bad because I know people have real problems and this doesn't seem like a big one. But I've been dealing with this for so long. Hiding my nose anytime someone takes off my glasses. I just know that I am never going to be comfortable with my face without glasses unless my nose stops looking the way it does and I hate that that's how I am.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,286, Reputation: 5645
    Expert
     
    #11

    Apr 5, 2016, 08:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Charmed24 View Post
    This makes me feel bad because I know people have real problems and this doesn't seem like a big one. But I've been dealing with this for so long. Hiding my nose anytime someone takes off my glasses. I just know that I am never going to be comfortable with my face without glasses unless my nose stops looking the way it does and I hate that that's how I am.
    I understand hating certain body parts. I really do. But, does that make you who you are? No. It's what's inside you that counts. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true.

    You were unhappy with your ears, so you got that fixed. Now you are unhappy with your nose. What will you be unhappy with once that is fixed? It's called body dysmorphia. A perceived flaw in ones appearance. You need counseling to learn to be happy with WHO you are, not WHAT you are.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,135, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #12

    Apr 5, 2016, 08:35 PM
    If it's that important to you, stop justifying it to strangers who can't see how bad that nose of yours is, and talk to mom. What if she says NO, she can't afford it right now, what will you do?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
    Expert
     
    #13

    Apr 5, 2016, 10:19 PM
    What I suggest, honestly is to take off the glasses and stop using them, let the nose show, and go on with life.
    Honestly, it really will not effect anything,

    You must likely bring more notice to it, hiding it, and worry about it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

When should I get my nose pierced and how can I ask mom? [ 4 Answers ]

I want a nose piercing... REALLY bad. And no,its not to fit in I just like piercings. I'm only 12. (dont judge) I already have 3 piercings in my ear so I'm ready for all that pain. I want to get a piercing asap, but I think my parents would more likely say yes if I got it on my birthday (which is...

How do I convince my mom to let me get a nose piercing? [ 11 Answers ]

Hi,I'm 15 years old girl and I really want nose piercing,and I try everything to convince my mom,but she is too scared for my health and thinks it looks ugly.The worst is that she would not let me even when it is legally,with 16 years.What can I do, I talked with her for 100 times and gave her...

Nose job [ 6 Answers ]

I've done a nose job on Jan 8th/2007 and until now the tip feels numb, I was wondering how long it will take until it feels natural, and does the numb feeling means that my nose still in the healing prosses. How long it really takes after the surgery and my nose it will take it's final shape

Nose job forum [ 6 Answers ]

I'm interested in getting a nose job however I'm african. I don't want a bad nose job. I want a small cute nose. I have looked at doctors who specialize in ethnic nose jobs and to me they don't do good jobs. The after nose of the client doesn't improve the overall face to me. I want a small cut...

Nose Job, or Nose Job? [ 1 Answers ]

I have what I call a button nose. I got it from my mother... my father had a wonderfully shaped nose. I just keeping thinking about how much better looking I would be if only I had that girls nose!! This is a problem I think about often... I worry about what the people I know who obviously knows...


View more questions Search