Silas

The sun only shines on the other side
of the world
you know you love me. i know you hate me.
Tell me your secrets. Ill tell you my lies.
Take me home, so i can die.
Love Me
Hate Me
Heal Me
Hurt Me
Love Me
Kill Me
Rape Me
My failure, My love you despise
We're all decaying, dying since painful birth.

This is a poem I wrote the other day, its pretty much a bunch of stuff that I had written on my hand while bored in maths, and some stuff that's been on my mind.
You think its any good? Any way I can improve it? Anything else I could do with it?

It's sad, but I really like your insightfullness on the last line. :)

I think you have potential on poems. Keep on writing:)

You have good words. Lack in rhythm. Try to write a smaller poem. I can't understand this one, its kind of all over the place, doesn't flow or make sense. BUT I think given time and effort you could write nice stuff at some point, if you try. Poetry isn't something that comes from tyring hard. It's a natural gift. I wrote poetry while I was in school. I have a book full. Beautiful way to express ones self.