Now, I'll give you the details that the title lacked. My wife of 10 months as of this date, and mother to our beautiful 1 month old baby girl has been invited to a bachelorette party in Las Vegas in about 10 months. I have a problem. I know that my wife is extremely beautiful... and young. She's only 23. I'm only 20. She's been told that she robbed the cradle. Anyway... back to the point... she will presumeably be asked to be one of the bride's maids, if not the maid of honor. At this bachelorette party they will be spending a few days in Vegas, drinking, partying, and going to at least one male strip club. I have already talked to her about the situation and told her that I don't approve. She asked WHY? Wow. That shocked me. I thought, no, I wanted, her to say "Trust me, I'm not going. I don't want to go to a male strip club." Or better yet, that she didn't want to jeopardize our family and relationship. But, rather, she actually wanted to go. Yet I know, as well as she does, that if I were to go to a strip club and have some girl get naked, dance for me and grind all over me, she would have a fit. Maybe even divorce me. So why is she okay with it? Why would she want me to feel how she doesn't want to feel? I told her that I couldn't even, ever, do that to her. Let alone do it for a weekend, hundreds of miles away from my family. Even if it was for my best friend, I'd decline. And I think he'd understand. This bachelorette isn't her BEST friend, she is a good one though, but she's afraid of what she might think of her. I'm actually really pissed off. I feel like my wife has less conviction and a lower moral standing than I once thought. She'd rather please one of her friends, and possibly herself, than me. I find that amazingly sad. She agreed not to go. But only because of how I feel. I got pretty fired up and demanded to know, regardless of how I felt, if she would still go and how she felt about it. She skirted the questions and... ultimately I feel let down. HELP ME PLEASE!! Any comments at all. I can't bear the thought of some guy with his rubber banded penis in a silk sock grinding up and down on my beautiful wife, or even the less bearable thought of her actually wanting that and thinking it's appropriate because it's a bachelorette party. Amazing :(

Will someone, even if you don't have an account, create one just to help me out? Please, Please, Please. I am desperate and confused and I don't know what to think. Help me out.

Welcome to my world... ;-p
I'm a woman and up to now I have never had a boyfriend who goes to strip clubs, guess I'm either lucky that way or they are extremley good at hiding it from me haha, seriously, she is married to you, you are the father of your child, that has to count for something, right?
Let me give you some insight, and I know my opinion will not be the same as everyone's here... I got a stripper for my 21st birthday, well I shall rephrase that to I was forced to get a stripper. I told them not too as I'm not into it personally, but what do you know, half way through the party this guy walks in dressed up as a cop ,he put fake handcuffs on me and told me I had "been naughty", I was mortified.
What I am trying to say is, it may not be the turn on for her you are fearing it to be, the guy at mine was rubbing baby oil into himself like there was no tomorrow which I thought was hilarious.
All in all I have no desire to go see another stripper, maybe other women are different, but I hated it.
Talk to her, tell her what is on your mind, but don't force her not to go, she needs to figure these things out by herself, she sleeps with you every night and raises your child, one night at a party isn't going to change her love for you.

She ain't going so what's the issue.? Relax and listen to yourself. Your getting all worked up over something that's not happening anywhere but in your head. You are insecure and immature. Get hold of yourself.

I agree with talaniman, it doesn't sound like me that you are mature enough to have a trusting relationship. Hell you couldn't even trust yourself enough to go to a strip club and not perv over the women? If I ever went to a strip club it would be for the alcohol and to have a laugh with my mates. Sure there's eyecandy but it would mean nothing to me.

I have to say I think you are wrong for not wanting her to go. She is an adult and should be allowed to make decisions for herself without having a stroppy partner stop her. If you trust her, what does it matter where she is and what she is doing? Trust means letting her be her own person and knowing in your heart she will not betray you whatever is going on around her. She will end up resenting you if you stop her from doing what she wants to do because you don't like it or don't trust her, and that will be far more destructive than anything she might or might not get up to on a hen night! My partner goes out and about with his brothers and mates, I dare say they go to strip clubs, but I don't care because I trust him! I couldn't imagine telling him he can't go! Same as I couldn't imagine him telling me what I can and can't do! I would boot him out if he tried because I would be insulted by him not trusting me! If you trust her, don't let it become and issue. Its not about morals its about having fun, male strip clubs are generally far less sordid than female strip clubs! Just try to laugh it off and see comedy in life instead of getting worked up over a night out!

It is called trust, every relationship must have it or it will not work. I wife is younger than me( 13 Years) and I have no problem when she wants to go out with her friends. Trust is something you seems to be missing>

Hold on a minute. Now there may be an important piece of the story missing. Just a week ago my wife proved an inability to remain mature and responsible while intoxicated, so yes, I may in effect be a little uneasy because of this extreme instance which I will not disclose details about, but give me a break nonethe less. You cannot sit in front of your computers and tell me that strip clubs are immoral. Especially for a married and supposedly devoted woman. Now, it is up to her as to how she views the men there, but, at the same time I have feelings, that should count. The thought of having my wife view, touch, be touched by, other men, who lack any sense of morality or sense at all, mortifies me. I trust my wife very much. Slightly less in the light of recent happenings and things she has told me. But trust is a very big part of my ideals. Secondly, you cannot tell me that trust should supercede whether it is right or wrong to be in such a situation... while married... to one man. What's the difference between seeing a man naked, while drinking and partying in a club, without your husband, and doing the same thing at someone's house across town? Answers please. And women... you're just as bad as men. Trust her... I trust her enough to make a vow, as she did for me, I'm devoted. I only ask the same thing in return. I don't undress other women with my eyes. Is a strip club with women already undressed, naked, willing to give lapdances any better? F that, it's worse. I'm horrified by the responses thus far. Bring it on if you want to argue. Your words only prove the moral and ethical decay of our nation and most of humankind in general. I'm disgusted.

I think you need to chill. Unless your wife was the one who planned the bachelorette doings you are being overbearing and unreasonable.

I don't think that strip clubs, male or female, are immoral. Nor do I think those that enjoy them are necessarily immoral. You claim this proves the moral and ethical decay in this country to which I say BS. The fact is such clubs have been around for a long time (though the male counterparts are more recent but still been around for decades). I don't dispute that there has been a decay but I don't think strip clubs are a sign of it.

What I DO think is that you were too young to get married and are too insecure to sustain a relationship so I don't have a lot of hopes for your marriage. Your harping on how beautiful your wife is indicates to me that you are still surprised she chose you. But remember that she DID choose you.

The most important thing in a relationship is trust. Another thing to remember is you have to be careful about picking your fights. This was not a battle I would have fought. As soon as your wife indicated she planned on going I would have dropped it. This celebration is about the BRIDE, not your wife and not you.

P.S. Remember you asked for my opinion.

I have to come back and add more to this... on the flip side of the coin is it OK for married men (not getting at men just making a point here) to go to strip clubs behind their wife's back, at least your wife told you about it all.
Again on the flip side of the coin, my partner works for a big car firm where you would imagine a lot of men to work also, one of the guys turned 20 a couple of weeks ago, my partner came home the night before and told me that the rest of the guys had booked a stripper to COME TO WORK on the guys birthday... I told my man I didn't think that was supposed to happen at work in working hours and he agreed, he didn't want any part of it at all, he goes to work to work.
The day the stripper came where was he? On the phone to me, I could hear the men in the background (in another room) shouting and leering at this woman.I never once gave my man a problem about it, if he wanted to watch her he could have just said nothing, he didn't want any part of it,it was his decision to make.
Brings me to my next part, its his best friends stag party in a few weeks, the party is in Poland, and I'm pretty sure that there will be strippers there... I WANT him to go, he's in a relationship with me, not chained to my ankle where he has to ask my permission about everything and get my approval.
I WANT him to see his friends, have a good time, all I ask from him is that he shows me some respect,and he knows only too well that if he ever cheats on me there will be no second chances.again its his choice to make.
Take a moment to listen to yourself for one second, you are married, you have a child, you have more important things in life to think about than a party that your wife may not even end up going to.
And if she does go.. whats the worst that could happen? She has a few drinks with her friends to celebrate one of them getting married, she has a laugh, and she has a good time.so she gets to watch a guy take his clothes off for a few minutes... sorry but I have seen much worse in my local store on the covers of the top shelp magazines... im sure you watch movies right? Do you shield her from the television if a love scene comes on? Yeah sounds crazy doesn't it? There are naked men in movies, on the internet, you cannot stop her from living life.
If you force her like this you will push her away, its all down to trust, if you don't have that then what's the point in marrying someone in the first place?

You know what I just typed my second response to your initial question.I wish I hadn't bothered really, I didn't see your reply before I posted.
You come here and ask for advice, people are doing their best to help you,you then attack us for doing so??
One thing to say on this thread, and it will be my last post in this one as I just noticed where you said this... "I'm horrified by the responses thus far"... im sorry what do you want to hear?
Shall I give it a shot? tell you what you want to hear? then maybe at the end you can come back and call me immoral..
Look nobody is getting at you, we are in effect trying to help you, but if all you are going to do is come back and attack people because they said something you do not want to hear then I'm sure people here will get a little pissed about the fact that they are giving you this advice for free,giving their time to help other people.
Its up to you,I think its pretty obvious here that you are not going to take any advice from anyone.other than if someone comes on and tells you you are right.the truth hurts,you are a father,grow up and learn to deal with little petty things that should never have been a problem in the first place.

I think your problem is that you think your wife will get drunk, and act a fool and embarrass you. That's why you keep telling us how beautiful she is, cause the truth is she is a party girl, and you are to young and jealous and haven't learned to accept her as a person with her own mind, who doesn't need your permission to do anything. One day she will tire of your control and immaturity and tell you to stuff it, and go party without you. You are making a mountain out of... nothing.

[I don't think what you're saying is that you don't trust her to behave herself as much as you think that strippers are immoral and you're upset that she doesn't feel the same way.

I once had a friend invite me to see male strippers. To me it was about the laughs of it all. It was funny and it was an incredible amount of fun. We had an older lady in our group who had children older than me and was recently divorced. We paid for a lap dance for her, she was so embarrassed and we laugh about it now many years later. It was just funny.

She isn't the one who made the plans! How disappointing will it be for her to not get to share in an experience that will give her and her friends laughs for years to come? They will all go and she'll be sitting at home thinking about missing out on a good time with her friends (not missing out on male strippers, missing out on fun with her friends) and it's all your doing for making this into something that is far less important in the grand scheme of things. It's not the men, it's not about men taking their clothes off! It's about having fun and bonding with her girlfriends. While she's sitting home, thinking about missing out on fun with her friends and having a chance to do that bonding before her friend gets married she'll certainly remember that YOU were the one that kept her from being there.

When I went, my hubby went to the bank and got me bundles of $1 bills and told me to have a good time. He didn't say "ogle those guys" or "touch naked men" or anything to do with the strippers. He knew that I was going to be with my girlfriends.

It is time for you to start growing up and understanding that you are not her parent, you are her partner. But, as a partner you're not giving her much credit.

Wow! Seems like your being attacked here Jamal. Lol. I think its sweet that your conerned over your wife being at a strip club. Normally you here women complaining about this. I don't think that it is your wife you don't trust, I think it's the situation and the atmosphere aroundher that might worry you. I know how you feel and its OK to feel this way. BUT, if this bothers you so much that your going to be up all night wondering what she is doing, then, yes thisis a problem and needs to be addressed. If something bothers you, you should have the right to stand up for yourself and speak up. Tell her your concerns and maybe she will understand.
Good luck with everything.

It is a matter of trust. You obviously don't trust her otherwise you would let her go. I let my husband go to a strip club occasionally. But I trust that he will come home to me. And guess what... he does.

I can't imagine not letting my love one take part in a fun day dedicated to her friendship with another woman. Who cares where they are going. Let them go have fun... trust in your love for her, and her love for you.

I honestly don't see what the big deal is with her going to the strip club. I'm married, and I've been to a strip club once since then. You know what I did when I went? Talked with my friends, drank, didn't look at the strippers, and eventually started talking to one when she came by the table. Never got a dance, didn't want one. And yes I told my wife. Because part of marriage is having trust and faith in the other person, faith that they won't waver or falter in their love for you under any circumstances. If my wife told me that she was going to a bacherlorette party, I'd tell her to have a good time. I know her, I trust her, and I know who she is making love to; me when she gets home.

You're making a bigger deal out of things then you should. You knew who she was before you married her, and you can't expect someone to change just because you want them to. You sound pretty insecure about the whole thing, which is sad in a way.

Just let it go.

I believe married couples should not put themselves in tempting situations or in situations that make the other one uncomfortable. Trust or not, jealousy is part of human nature. My husband would not be okay with me going to a male strip club. And nor would I with him going to a female one (without me). Only you and your wife can set the boundaries in your marriage and depsite what others have said about this being a lack or trust and immaturity, I have to disagree. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was me in the situation, I would be just as upset as you are.

I had the opportunity to be a SuicideGirl and make some extra money but my husband had a strong objection to it and out of respect for him I didn't do it.

Marriage is about respect. If your wife agreed not to go because she saw how upset you were over it then at least she has enough respect to honor you with.

I will agree that partners should communicate, and set boudaries for their relationships. Everyone is different.

Oh it's been so long since I've been able to say….Your going to get Chuffed, it's nothing personal but somebody has to tell you.

Now, I'll give you the details that the title lacked. My wife of 10 months as of this date, and mother to our beautiful 1 month old baby girl has been invited to a bachelorette party in Las Vegas in about 10 months.
So you are already worried about a one night event in 10 months. What are you going to do when your wife is has breast cancer or your daughter gets starts dating the guy that just got released from prison. I'm not saying those things will happen but I'm positive, absolutely positive your going to have much bigger problems in your life then this. This is such a waste of time and energy to be upset about.

I have a problem. I know that my wife is extremely beautiful...and young.
Yeah that's certainly a problem. I'm so glad that homeless will sleep on the concrete tonight, kids will starve to death, more American's will be killed in Iraq, the press will then blame America for all the world's problems, all the while you deal with having a young beautiful wife. Life certainly isn't fair.

She's only 23. I'm only 20. She's been told that she robbed the cradle.
She robbed the cradle of…….3 years? She's been lied to.

Anyways...back to the point...she will presumeably be asked to be one of the bride's maids, if not the maid of honor. At this bachelorette party they will be spending a few days in Vegas, drinking, partying, and going to at least one male strip club. I have already talked to her about the situation and told her that I don't approve. She asked WHY?
You say that like it shocked you.

Wow. That shocked me.
Wait! It really shocked you? I'm shocked that you would be shocked.
She was asked to spend a weekend in Vegas, attend a bachelorette party, and have fun with her friends and you said she couldn't do it because she might see a stripper. And your shocked that she would be upset.
Your marriage is over already, and you don't even know it.

I thought, no, I wanted, her to say "Trust me, I'm not going. I don't want to go to a male strip club." Or better yet, that she didn't want to jeopardize our family and relationship. But, rather, she actually wanted to go.
If you honestly think that she is jeopardizing your family by spending a couple hours at a strip club you're completely clueless about leading a family and completely clueless about strip clubs and completely clueless about bachelorette parties.

Yet I know, as well as she does, that if I were to go to a strip club and have some girl get naked, dance for me and grind all over me, she would have a fit.
Have you actually confirmed that with her? I can't believe for one second that is true given she's going to do the very same thing. In fact maybe the two you should go to strip club together. I think you'll be surprised at two things.
1. It's not even close to what you think it is.
2. Your wife is going to like it.
Or then again, maybe you already know number 2 and that's what your really afraid of. [/QUOTE]

Maybe even divorce me.
You don't know your wife at all do you? She is not going to divorce you for going to a strip club.

So why is she okay with it? Why would she want me to feel how she doesn't want to feel? I told her that I couldn't even, ever, do that to her. Let alone do it for a weekend, hundreds of miles away from my family. Even if it was for my best friend, I'd decline. And I think he'd understand.
I think you should ask him before you speak for him. You seem to do a lot of assuming and not a lot of fact checking.

This bachelorette isn't her BEST friend, she is a good one though, but she's afraid of what she might think of her.
Yeah, I'm not one for normally caring about what others think but your wife is right here. I'd feel stupid if I were her telling my friends that I can't hang out with them because my husband has his head up his and has this problem that I'm beautiful so I can't leave the house.

I'm actually really pissed off. I feel like my wife has less conviction and a lower moral standing than I once thought.
It's clear as day that you haven't a clue who you married that's the one thing I agree with on.

She'd rather please one of her friends, and possibly herself, than me. I find that amazingly sad.
I find it amazingly sad that you feel like she should be your emotional slave, especially over one stupid event that won't mean a damn thing in the long run. But instead of just letting it be and trusting her, even though she's beautiful (which is a problem) she now gets to think for the next 10 months about how much she hates you for this and the trust is slowly going to go away. Smart plan you've set into motion………. While if that plan was to lead to other arguments and divorce.

She agreed not to go. But only because of how I feel.

Ah emotional slavery lead by Jomal, Senior officer in the fun police. And since your wife is young and beautiful (that's a problem) and being treated like sh*t by a jealous egomaniac at what point do you think YOUR actions will drive her to leave you?

I got pretty fired up and demanded to know, regardless of how I felt, if she would still go and how she felt about it. She skirted the questions and...ultimately I feel let down. HELP ME PLEASE!!! Any comments at all. I can't bear the thought of some guy with his rubber banded penis in a silk sock grinding up and down on my beautiful wife, or even the less bearable thought of her actually wanting that and thinking it's appropriate because it's a bachelorette party. Amazing :(
There it is again, you mentioned your wife was beautiful. How exactly did you get this far with her would be my question? Since women read emotions much better then men, what do you think your young and beautiful (remember that's a problem) wife is really thinking watching the guy she married act like a 20 year old kid. She might not say it but she's pretty bitter that you just took her fun weekend away from her because of her prior commitment to be your emotional slave and do what ever you say. And with 10 months to go until the event she's going to make those 10 months for you a living hell. And rarely would I agree with a female doing that to a guy, but you deserve everything you get.

I want to know if you at all have any idea of what Male Strip Clubs all about? I am sure you don't... I've been to many, I am beautiful, attractive, married... SO? But Confident of myself... hey give me a break... we just neet to chill out with friends... may be your wife needs a break too... buddy relax.. I think you need to go to one of the night clubs too... Bet you'll have a nice time! and let us know...

Hold on a minute. Now there may be an important piece of the story missing. Just a week ago my wife proved an inability to remain mature and responsible while intoxicated, so yes, I may in effect be a little uneasy because of this extreme instance which I will not disclose details about, but give me a break nonethe less.

Well unless you provide details we can only go by what you wrote. And what you wrote so far makes you look like a jealous egomaniac.


You cannot sit in front of your computers and tell me that strip clubs are immoral.

Sure I can. Watch.

Strip clubs are not immoral.


Especially for a married and supposedly devoted woman.

Yes because every married person that enters a strip club winds up sleeping with the strippers.


Now, it is up to her as to how she views the men there, but, at the same time I have feelings, that should count.

I'm going to agree with you there. Absolutely 100% correct.


The thought of having my wife view, touch, be touched by, other men, who lack any sense of morality or sense at all, mortifies me.

How do you know the strippers have no sense of morality? Are they more or less moral then people who steal?


I trust my wife very much. Slightly less in the light of recent happenings and things she has told me. But trust is a very big part of my ideals. Secondly, you cannot tell me that trust should supercede whether it is right or wrong to be in such a situation...while married...to one man.

But in you other post you problem was that she was young and beautiful. Not that she was going to a strip club. I read that to mean that you don't trust you wife, and you see her beauty in this situation as a hindrance because if she's beautiful then the strippers will want to do something extra with her and nobody else, when in fact they probably don't want to do anything with anybody. But you make it seem like your wife can't be trusted, you can say it here but given what you wrote in your original post I, and many other people saw no trust towards her.


What's the difference between seeing a man naked, while drinking and partying in a club, without your husband, and doing the same thing at someone's house accross town? Answers please.

Ah, I presume to mean that by across town she would be cheating on you? Probably not with all her friends their drinking and partying and watching her have sex with the guy she would be cheating on you with. Are you honestly saying that having an affair is the same thing as going to a strip club?


And women...you're just as bad as men.

Boy they sure are….. oh wait are we still talking about the stripping thing or just in general?


Trust her...I trust her enough to make a vow, as she did for me, I'm devoted. I only ask the same thing in return. I don't undress other women with my eyes. Is a strip club with women already undressed, naked, willing to give lapdances any better? F that, it's worse.

What exactly is worse about it? Seriously you've never even been to one so what do you draw on for this statement? Am I worse then you because I've been to a strip club? Am I worse then you because I've actually dated strippers?


I'm horrified by the responses thus far. Bring it on if you want to argue. Your words only prove the moral and ethical decay of our nation and most of humankind in general. I'm disgusted.

Yeah the nation is morally declining because of strip clubs. Give me a second while I stop laughing.

I always find it funny that people like you who with your obviously high morals who tell us simpletons what to think and do throw the line around that the country is going into moral decay as though it was always like the Leave it to Beaver days. Maybe if you got off your mountain top and saw the real world you'd figure out that there have always been murders, gangs, rapes, prostitutes and everything else that is supposedly making the world a horrible place. It was like that 500 years ago, and it will be like that in another 500 years.

Now we can argue…was anybody actually arguing with you? Maybe that's part of your problem right there. You want everybody to live by your rules, but if others don't…or in this case the majority then you fall back into your usual defenses and blame it on society or something else that can't really be controlled when in reality the real problem is you.

You can be horrified all you want at the responses thus far but what should really horrify you is the divorce that's coming if you think acting like a pretentious who knows everything and controls those around him because he doesn't believe enough in himself or the those around him to make the right decisions. At 23 with a lifetime ahead of her, you wife will not put up with your attitude or you emotional deficiencies for another 50 years or longer and that problem goes a lot deeper then this one situation.

She has already said she isn't going to go. And her reason was because she is sensitive to your feelings. What is the problem? The fact that she didn't say flat out "No" - when asked? And was offended at just the invitation? Come on.
I think you are looking for trouble when there isn't any. And are you sure that she is EVEN going to a strip club? Just because they are there - doesn't mean she's going to go. I mean, from what I have heard - Vegas has a lot of things for people to do. I am not sure - but I think you can even gamble there. See a show or something. I didn't realize that there was only ONE thing to do in Vegas.

Like I said, you have let your wife know how you feel - she has taken that into consideration and said she would not go. Just because she didn't react the way you would hope - well get over it. There are going to be times like this along the way of your life. Where you feel a certain way and she doesn't like it. And you will have to bend in order to make her happy. Should that not be what is important here? She said she wouldn't go to make you happy.
Quit looking for trouble.

You should act like your OK with the fact that she's going if she lets you go to on. If she say's she not but still wants to go to the strip club let her know that you value her decision but because she won't compromise with you... your not going to compromise with her. Tell her that your going to a strip club, even if she throws a fit she won't divorce you esp. if she going to one.. let her know she can't be a hypocrite...
and if she does go to a strip club then you make plans with your buddies to go to a strip club its only fair...

She is not going right? So why make trouble? Why try to stir things up, she said no to respect your feelings. Be happy with that, move on and focus on the important things in your relationship. If you truly love and trust her then her being at a strip club should not bother you. If your relationship is solid it should not matter where she goes when she goes out with friends because you are secure in the fact that she loves you and will come home to you at the end of the night.

Now, I'll give you the details that the title lacked. My wife of 10 months as of this date, and mother to our beautiful 1 month old baby girl has been invited to a bachelorette party in Las Vegas in about 10 months. I have a problem. I know that my wife is extremely beautiful...and young. She's only 23. I'm only 20. She's been told that she robbed the cradle. Anyways...back to the point...she will presumeably be asked to be one of the bride's maids, if not the maid of honor. At this bachelorette party they will be spending a few days in Vegas, drinking, partying, and going to at least one male strip club. I have already talked to her about the situation and told her that I don't approve. She asked WHY? Wow. That shocked me. I thought, no, I wanted, her to say "Trust me, I'm not going. I don't want to go to a male strip club." Or better yet, that she didn't want to jeopardize our family and relationship. But, rather, she actually wanted to go. Yet I know, as well as she does, that if I were to go to a strip club and have some girl get naked, dance for me and grind all over me, she would have a fit. Maybe even divorce me. So why is she okay with it? Why would she want me to feel how she doesn't want to feel? I told her that I couldn't even, ever, do that to her. Let alone do it for a weekend, hundreds of miles away from my family. Even if it was for my best friend, I'd decline. And I think he'd understand. This bachelorette isn't her BEST friend, she is a good one though, but she's afraid of what she might think of her. I'm actually really pissed off. I feel like my wife has less conviction and a lower moral standing than I once thought. She'd rather please one of her friends, and possibly herself, than me. I find that amazingly sad. She agreed not to go. But only because of how I feel. I got pretty fired up and demanded to know, regardless of how I felt, if she would still go and how she felt about it. She skirted the questions and...ultimately I feel let down. HELP ME PLEASE!!! Any comments at all. I can't bear the thought of some guy with his rubber banded penis in a silk sock grinding up and down on my beautiful wife, or even the less bearable thought of her actually wanting that and thinking it's appropriate because it's a bachelorette party. Amazing :(
You should be worried about this. A mother should be concerned with her children and trying to raise them with as many morals as she can. I would tell her to do what she thinks a married mother should do and if she makes the decision to go then you have a problem with her. No man or woman should want to look at another person in that way after they get married. The ones who give you advise that it is OK and let her have fun are people who don't respect their spouses and don't respect themselves. You are responsible to see your child has a good home and respectible parents. Tell her she is not going and if she don't understand how you feel and respect your stance on this then you have problems ahead of you.

The ones who give you advise that it is ok and let her have fun are people who don't respect their spouses and don't respect themselves.

I was going to do the whole Chuffing routine but since I can read the date on this I decided on not getting too much into it since it's 5 months old. Exactly who are you to say somebody doesn't respect themselves because they have no problems with another adult looking at another adult? I really can't believe that in 2007 people still get freaked out by the idea that someone might see another human nude.



You are responsible to see your child has a good home and respectible parents.

The child was not going to the show.



Tell her she is not going and if she don't understand how you feel and respect your stance on this then you have problems ahead of you.

Tell her to do the dishes too. Slap her around too if she gives you any back talk.

From one guy to another, I'll let you in on something. They gave them rights about 100 years ago. Some of them even have jobs.

Tell her to do the dishes too. Slap her around too if she gives you any back talk.

From one guy to another, I'll let you in on something. They gave them rights about 100 years ago. Some of them even have jobs.

I WILL COMMENT AFTER ME AND MY WIFE STOP LAUGHING!! And after I finish the dishes.

Exactly someone who think people should respect their wedding vows and more than that respect each other. Hard to believe a book written thousands of years ago can still mean the same thing in "2007"!

Well, I have to say first of all, she said she isn't going and that should be enough as it is. I convinced my own husband to not have a bachelor party, because of the type of people his groomsmen were, and when he siad it wouldn't happen, I laid it to rest.
But, because you've been married months and ave a month old child, is there any chance you got married due to the pregnancy? I mean, the fact that she would hold you to a double standard is not cool at all, and I definitely don't see anything right about a married women leaving her husband to drink and party for several days across the country, but either way she said it wouldn't happen,
Save your worry and anger for the next situation. This ones dead...

What kind of love is it you have, that must be controlled by fear, and insecurity?? If you cannot trust the one your with, What's the point of being married at all??

I WILL COMMENT AFTER ME AND MY WIFE STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And after i finish the dishes.


Now I'm laughing. Don't tell the losthusband your doing dishes because he might come over there and slap you too!

He has to wait because I have to take out the garbage, when the dishes get done.

I totally agree with you (question asker). How can people sit here and say things like "she is an adult let her make a choice" see guys that's the thing.. she does need to make her choice. Her husband and family or the party. It is her choice and she needs to respect her husband and much more than that her marriage and her child. Like many women in this world they make that very clear to their husbands. Respect me or get out. That's the issue here. If he was OK with her going out and seeing other men naked then he wouldn't have posted. The thing is that he has expressed to her that he has an issue with it. That is the part that she needs to respect... I have a husband.. and I will hurt him if I go. You people obviously are not married. And if you are then I don't know what goes on in your home but hurting each other, be it seeing other naked men or a smaller issue, you have made a choice. You made this choice with legal documents confirming that you are now married.. you have given up the right to be single and have promised to love and HONOR your spouse. She wouldn't be honoring him if she went.


More advice: she's respecting you by telling you that she is not going. Although she is in the frame of mind that it's OK... she respects you and that's all you can ask for. You will not change her opinion until she changes it herself even though it's hypocritical. I'm sure she loves you and everything will work out but be careful with the frame of mind that she has. Just as you should be careful with your mind's frame as well.

This is almost a year old to the day. The OP isn't coming back and he didn't like his responses.

I totally agree with you (question asker). How can people sit here and say things like "she is an adult let her make a choice" see guys that's the thing.. she does need to make her choice. Her husband and family or the party. It is her choice and she needs to respect her husband and much more than that her marriage and her child. Like many women in this world they make that very clear to their husbands. Respect me or get out. That's the issue here. If he was ok with her going out and seeing other men naked then he wouldn't have posted. The thing is that he has expressed to her that he has an issue with it. That is the part that she needs to respect... I have a husband.. and I will hurt him if I go. You people obviously are not married. And if you are then I don't know what goes on in your home but hurting each other, be it seeing other naked men or a smaller issue, you have made a choice. You made this choice with legal documents confirming that you are now married.. you have given up the right to be single and have promised to love and HONOR your spouse. She wouldn't be honoring him if she went.


More advice: she's respecting you by telling you that she is not going. Although she is in the frame of mind that it's ok... she respects you and that's all you can ask for. You will not change her opinion until she changes it herself even though it's hypocritical. I'm sure she loves you and everything will work out but be careful with the frame of mind that she has. Just as you should be careful with your mind's frame as well.

Couldn't help but notice that you said either the people that responded aren't married, or are married, and hurting each other. My marriage is neither dysfunctional (I'm sorry if all you've seen is dysfunction in relationships) nor do we hurt each other. What we are is 2 adults, and if my wife wanted to go to someone's bachelorette party, I'm not a nazi and wouldn't tell her not to go. I wouldn't be hurt either. I have enough trust and faith in my relationship to realize that she comes home to me, wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and that I can trust her. I do find that the majority of people that throw a tantrum about these kinds of things aren't very secure about their relationship, or really don't know the type of person that they married... both of which are very sad and disturbing.

Everyone is right.
I'm only 16 and I agree with everyone that your being stupid about it.


Its one party
There's a guy stripper get over it.
She might be looking at that guy but who does she come home to go to sleep next to?
You!
She's married to you.
She made a commitment to you.
She's also going for her friend.
She's not going for the stripper.
You just need to loosen up.
It's a party and she's going for her friends.
And hey don't start a argument with people you don't know that are trying to help you.

I see it as an honest mistake on her part. She might not have viewed it from your perspective and saw it as lighthearted and just fun with her friends. But obviously some guys don't feel happy about this sort of thing, and it is understandable. After all, if your pals wanted to socialize at a topless bar would she be okay with that? Many women would not be, to be honest.

To the people who claim "it's no big deal", that's simply wrong. If it's a big deal to him, it's a big deal. That works for the wife too -- if something makes her upset, it is by definition a big deal.

So you made your feelings clear, and she decided not to go. That's really the appropriate thing here. If she is mature and considerate, she should respect your feelings on this, after all, you have made a commitment to each other. And that cuts both ways. I'm sure you will have to compromise if something you do makes her uncomfortable or unhappy. That's what marriage is about.

BUT There's no reason to stew and reuminate over this though. You made your point, and she should respect it. But if she does, you have to move on and not hold a grudge. It was a misunderstanding over what you both thought was acceptable. That's all.

So I think your feelings were perfectly understandable. She made an honest, innocent mistake. But you need to move on and not blame her or stew over this. That's also part of the bargain.