I've been dating my boyfriend for six years. Last night he broke up with me. This is how it all started. I have this guy that's in my english class and me and him always take the train together but me and him are just friends. I don't have any feelings for this guy. I look at him as a friend only. I always tell my boyfriend everything that's going on with me. He know that this guy is just a friend. But lately me and my boyfriend have been fighting a lot because I think he's cheating on me. Every time I call his house phone the line is always busy so I know that he's talking to someone else. But when I ask him who was he talking to when he calls me he's says his guy friend. I think he's lying because you don't talk to your guy friend for an hour. When I ask him is he cheating on me he tells me no that he loves me a lot. But I believe that he is talking to someone else on the phone. This Friday was bad I called him and the line was busy. He was talking to someone for an hour and thirty minutes. When he finally called me I asked him who was he speaking to he said his friend once again. But later when we started arguing he told that was speaking to a girl that his friend hook him up with, and they've been talking for two weeks now. I was so shock by this news, because he's been lying to me all this time telling me he's talking to his friend. He's always preaching about telling the true and being honest and look what he goes and do. When I asked him why is he doing this he told me why am I taking the train with that guy when I know has feeling for me. I don't like this guy me and him are just friends. When I am with this guy all I do is talk about my boyfriend and school work. Last night me and my boyfriend had argument. I asked him if he's cheating on me and he said no that he loves. We kept fighting on the phone and he told me that he wants to get off the phone and he'll call me when he wants to talk. But I didn't listen and I kept calling him every two second and he broke up with me. He told me that he needs his space. We always fight and breakup and then get back together because we can't stand to be away from each other. But this time I don't know what he's thinking. When I got off the phone with him when he broke up with me I knew he didn't want to speak to me so I had my cousin call him to let him know that I love him and I don't want to lose him but I don't think he wanted to hear it and became annoyed by the calls. All he said to my cousin was thank you for the message and I have to go. What should I do he says that he doesn't want to be with be with me and also he doesn't want to be my friend because I keeping bothering him and he needs his space. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. I don't want this girl to take my man away from me. Should I give him his space and see if calls me within a week. We always talk on the phone everyday so it's very hard for me not to call him. But I think calling him would just make him upset even more. Someone please tell me what I should do? I love my boyfriend I don't want to lose him over something little. Help Me!!
I want the guys to let me know what do you think my boyfriend is thinking.

I think you need to give him some spαce.

By the way I bet he's confused αt the fαct thαt you totαlly contrαdicted yourself. First your mαd αt him for tαlking to αnother girl his friend hooked him up with then you tell him "ooh bαby i love you don't go" ?whαt the hell is thαt αll αbout? He obviously hαd the intention of cheαting on you becαuse if he didn't he wouldn't αccept his friend's mαtch-mαking.. he used this trαin guy αs αn excuse-- if he hαd α problem with thαt he should've told you αnd if he did you should've respected thαt αnd cut trαin guy off becαuse it bothered your b/f.

αnd this whole breαk-up/mαke-up fiαsco is cleαrly α sign of not knowing whαt you wαnt (him too), αnd mαybe the reαson y'αll go bαck together is becαuse when your αpαrt you feel αlone αnd in need of eαchother.. I think you guys need this time to leαrn how to stαnd on your own two feet.. try not tαlking to him for 90 dαys.. this will chαnge your αspect on everything.. but you hαve to commit to it.. you've αlreαdy developed α pαttern αnd frαnkly I think this guy hαs recognized thαt so he's mαking α chαnge.. αnd you should too.

If he knows how desperate you are to get him back, and how willing you are to do anything, he will feel no pressure to sit down and figure out what it is he wants. Give him spcae, don't talk to him, don't answre his calls, if he calls. Let him realize that you won't be treated like that. Not only will this force him to rethink what he's doing, it will give you time away from the situation to think clearly.

He told me that the girl is the one that gave her number to him. He told me that he doesn't like that girl like that he is just talking to her on the phone just like I was doing with the guy. My boyfriend is 21 and the girl is 17 yrs old and am 23. I love my boyfriend if we've together so long I don't want to lose him. I not taking train with this guy any more but my boyfriend don't want to hear it. Should I let him cool off and see if he calls me. I think he's doing this to get back at me he's jealous even if he says he's not. What should I do? Thank you for the advice I need it.

G I v e
H I'm
S o m e
S p α c e!!

First of all,
I don't think it matters how he got the phone number. He made the choice to call, and then to lie to you about it. That's a big deal.
Secondly, it doesn't matter if he's doing it to get your jealous either. If he is playing games like that, he is not worth your time or your effort. There are many people much better for you, as much as you don't want to hear that.
The ONLY solution at this point is to give him space and work on yourself. Try to become happy without him. No one can tell you if/when he will come back, or why he is doing this. All we can tell you is the best way to get healthy so that you can deal with whatever he decides to do.

Your 23!! hαve fun!! You just pαssed you drinking αge-- common' no time for mαrriαge!-- hαve funnn girl!! Omgsh pαrty hαrdy-- do it for me! I mαrried YOUNG! Like I meαn hαven't gotten my driver's license young!

I understand what you both are saying but me and my boyfriend always have arguments over stupid things I just never picture that this things was going to break us up. I gave up so much to be with him. Sometime when we breakup he says that he don't want to be with me anymore and he want s to be friends but that never happens because we always start kissing and we get back together I know that I am young but I've been in a lot of relationships but this time I think he's the one but I think that I mess up. Hurting him by talking to this guy. He told me that on the phone Saturday night when we were together and look what happen we brake up.

sαmnαomi-- we give you αdvice hun-- telling you to give the guy some spαce... you should do it common' if he loves you he'll comebαck αnd if you especiαlly try the 90 dαy thing he'll def. try to find α wαy to get YOU bαck-- guys αre hunters, let him "hunt" you bαck-- wierdd... but true. Don't mαke yourself αvαilαble to him mαkes-you the go-to girl.. eww αnd you never wαnt to be her.

I understand what you both are saying but me and my boyfriend always have arguments over stupid things I just never picture that this things was going to break us up. I gave up so much to be with him. Sometime when we breakup he says that he don't want to be with me anymore and he want s to be friends but that never happens because we always start kissing and we get back together I know that I am young but I've been in alot of relationships but this time I think he's the one but I think that I mess up. Hurting him by talking to this guy. He told me that on the phone saturday night when we were together and look what happen we brake up.


We have all been there, and had those feelings. Trust me, I never in a million years could see my ex breaking up with me. When she did I was devastated. If you want my honest advice... I didn't move on like I should have almost 3 months ago. It still hurts me everyday, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I only have myself to blame for that, but every morning I wake up and it hurts beucase I refused to believe that there was no chance for a reconciliation.

It came to the point where I was sick of the way my life was going, and being someone who was always been successful at everything, that thought scared me. I know its time to let go, and I just hope that you can see that the sooner you begin to let go and work on yourself, the sooner you will be happy again.

Think of it this way... If nothing changes about either of you, nothing will change between the two of you. Stop looking for a miraculous revelation that will let you two be together forever and ever without a fight. If getting back together is even in the cards, the only way it will work is if you can become happy with who you are alone.

I agree with the others, he needs space. You are both in the wrong here, after 6 years why don't you both trust each other? I've said it a million times... if you don't have trust, you don't have anything!

As others have said, you must do as he asked, and give him space to consider what he wants without pressure from you. Easier said than done, but anything less is like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. Also, its is so important for you to realize what you want, after the emotional upheaval has settle down, so its time to let yourself see clearly, as a number of red flags have been ignored here. Whenever you argue you break up, and get back together, and this is an unhealthy pattern that has stopped you both from solving your problems thru honest communications, and the commitment to work together. Second, after 6 years and he doesn't trust your judgement, or motivations, then he is too insecure, and has fallen into a controlling mode to satisfy his trust issues, not healthy at all, since your train friend is not a threat to him. Lastly, and more importantly, you both have become to dependent on each other for happiness, and his willingness to play games with some one else, because of his issues, will cause you both heart ache and misery, and until these things are resolved, this will never be a healthy relationship. Leave him alone for now and work on yourself, so you can be healthy and make good decisions for yourself.

αgree αgree αgree with sypher---
Long wαys bαck I did the whole spαce thing- ugh pαinful- 2 yeαrs lαter I met my husbαnd:) I didn't dαte in between thαt time (rebound relαtionships-big no no) -- gαve me time to grow blαh blαh blαh... you'll be hαppy.. I used to think my ex wαs my everything.. hαhα now I lαugh αt my niαvity...

Guess what? Last night he called me and told me to come over today. What should I do so he doesn't think am desperate. The reason I'm going over there is to pick up something from his house. What should I do? Someone answer me please I have to be there 8:00 in the morning.

Get your stuff and go home. You need to heal and not talk. Get healthy and make healthy decisions. That's something you don't have to compromise on, you being healthy. Under no circumstances, let him make you feel guilty, or it was your fault this happened, or any other game playing with your emotions. He dumped you.

I went to his house today to go and get the things at his house, can you believe he didn't even come to the door to give me the things he had for me. When I called his house so he could come outside and open the door for me his mother answered the phone and she said she was coming. I thought she was going to let me in the house because he was in the shower,but no he gave my stuff to his mother so she could give it to me. I am hurt right now because even when we breakup we always say that we are going to be friends but that never happens because we love each other too much to do that. Now I think he really wants to let me go. Last night I asked him if he wants to be my friend he told me we can be friend later but now I think I need A break from you. He never says things like that. I think he really doesn't want to be with me no more. I love him so much how can this be the end. He always told me that he can't imagine himself with another girl. So why is he doing this? Everybody is telling me give him some space and he will come back. We never been apart for a long time. I'm scared that he is fed up with me and he doesn't want to deal with me anymore. Am I wrong for wanting my man back and for feeling this way.

No You are not wrong for wanting him back! I want my girlfriend back also. But everyone on here has been telling me to give space. I have been trying my hardest to giver her, her space. It is really really tough. I have struggled through it. I am hoping that things will change, but I need to start thinking of me. And maybe you should too?

Your feelings are very natural for what you are going through.
You must realise, that people change and grow, and so will you . I know its hard now because things are still a shock, and your feelings are strong, and your high expectations have been dashed to the ground. In time you will accept the changes, and be able to handle your feelings better. This is a growing experience, that if you learn the lesson, will be with you all your life.

Why is he acting like this?

Sam, if you were able to observe this relationship as a third party you'd see all the red flags. You'd see a guy and girl who have apparently broken up on several occasions (I'm guessing since you said that on previous break-ups you guys have remained friends). You'd see a guy who is dishonest, for whatever reason. You'd see a girl who knew all along he was being dishonest but played along because it was easier then breaking up. You'd see a couple who probably need a good chunk of time apart to stop and really and honestly take a look at themselves. The independent self. The self who isn't waiting for calls, isn't worried about making calls or anything else the other person is or isn't doing. With some time apart, you can stop and ask yourself, what do I really want out of my life? Where do I want to be in 5 years? Sometimes, being in a relationship where there's lots of arguing keeps the relationship exciting. Even if it's bad excitement, it's still excitement. Then, when it's good (meaning no arguing for a week or so, you tend to lose focus on yourself and your life's goals. Everyone should have goals. Can you imagine... 5 years down the road and you're still wondering if he's being faithful, he's still annoyed at your clinginess, his lies, your immaturity. The lack of trust.

Let's face it. If he had no reason to doubt you and really trusted you, he'd believe you when you said that you had no interest in that guy on the train. He'd feel secure in knowing that you could go to the moon with that guy and nothing would happen because you're completely and totally trustworthy. I'm not saying you have cheated, I'm saying that he's insecure because he's not convinced. How can you say you were shocked that he told you he had been talking to a girl when you said you knew he was lying about talking to his guy friend on the phone? You were probably shocked that he said it straight out after you pestered him about it.

Time apart will do both of you a lot of good. I know it's painful. I know it's lonely. But if you really want a successful shot at working things out with him, then you need to respect HIS wishes and leave him alone. Don't call and don't come running when he does. If he asked for time apart, then give it to him, even if he calls and says he's not sure he did the right thing. Why? Because what usually happens is you will go over there, be with him for a short time and he'll suddenly remember why he broke up with you. Who gets hurt? You. He scratched his itch, but you're the one left broken. The one who cares the least, has the most power.

I am more stronger today because of the incident that happened this morning. I totally feel like he played me by letting his mother answer the door. But I guess when you want space from someone this is what you do to get it. Right?

Keep that feelnig and use it as motivation to keep your going toward what you need to do to make yourself feel better.

Don't let what he did dwell on your mind, instead keep that feeling that makes you want to move on.

What should I do if he calls me? How should I act towards him? What is a good way to show someone what they are missing without being to obvious.

Be sociable, but be brief, and always so busy to talk long, or return calls . Be unavailable to him. Stay focused on you and what you enjoy.

What if he never calls me? If I wait two weeks should I give him a call to see what he's up to. Or is that to soon to to be calling him. I miss him so much. I always talk to him everyday so it's hard not talking to him on the phone. But I guess if really loves me and miss me he should call me. What should I do? Because I feel like I am going to break the space thing tonight. Help me fight this feeling.

The best thing to do is f**k him then forget him you don't have feelings for him any way

I love him so much and I don't want to be without him.

I love him so much and I don't want to be without him.


How long has it been since he broke up with you?

I think your putting wαααyy too much thought into this.. your literαlly mαking it sound like he's the αir you breαthe- your wαy too preoccupied αbout him, αnd I bet he's hαnging out with his buddies like nothing.. why don't you do the sαme?. relαx girl it's not the end of the world. Prince Chαrming αlwαys comes bαck, it's the frogs thαt jump from lilly pαd to lilly pαd...

Sam - He hooked with a girl and lied about it. Is that the part you love? Or how about the fact that he didn't even have the cojones to tell you there was a problem (or many) in the relationship? Is that the part you love? How about that he got his mommy to do his dirty work, more lacking in the cojones department wouldn't you say? I can respect someone who realizes that a relationship is not working for him and then, like a real man, steps up to the plate, and takes care of his own business. Don't tell me it was too hard for him or he was so angry, hurt, afraid with you that he couldn't do it. What kind of a man does that? A child.

Move on. There is someone out there waiting for you. Someone who will respectfully call you to the carpet when you've done wrong, who will praise you when you're right and who will support you when you need it. But you'll never find him holding on to your past. Looking in the rear view mirror doesn't allow anyone to go forward successfully.

I love him so much and I don't want to be without him.

So, you want more abuse, lying and cheating? Call him now then, and I'm sure he has more to give. Since you don't care about yourself why should I? Why should he? You love I'm more than you love yourself and that is not healthy. :(

We broke up Monday night. I know everybody is telling me I should move on. But he didn't cheat on me he said that he was just talking to the girl on the phone just like I was doing by talking to the guy on the train. I feel like this whole situation could have been avoid if I had never started taking the train with that guy. Since then I have stop taking the train with that guy. When I told that guy that my boyfriend broke up with me can you believe he had this big goofy smile on his face. I think he was under the impression that now my boyfriend is out of the picture he would have a chance with me. I feel that's totally wrong. Some people would say cheer up, but he said stop thinking about it. Easy for him to say he don't know girlfriend that he love and care about. Why should I listen to him. I am giving my boyfriend some space I hope he calls me so we can talk about this situation. Do you think it's wrong for me wanting to solve this problem. I want some closure.

definition of closure: α bringing to αn end; α conclusion.

this my sαmnαomi you αre not willing to do (give him some spαce, not worry αbout cαlling him, blαh blαh blαh.. etc.)

smile on trαin guys fαce = boyfriend wαs right αbout him (being αngry & jeαlous... ) however thαt you do not tell your current ex-- not so good.

saraispiel19 are you telling me that I should tell my ex about what the train guy said. Listen I know that why everybody telling me to give him space that's why I have'nt called him. I truly believe that if he loves me he won't let me go just like that.

No wαy jose! If you do tαlk to him don't even tell him he wαs right αbout trαin guy- ugh nαsty situαtion. Here's the sαnαrio:

you : " you were right αbout [trαin guy] when i told him it wαs over he smiled αnd sαid____"

ex: "see i told you, i knew it" <-- something of the sort

No point see, except for the fαct he wαs right αnd he'll be αll "i told you so"-- my husbαnd gets like thαt αnd so do mαny other men when they know their right αbout certαin situαtions, then they bring it bαck... "well i wαs right αbout trαin guy so you cαn't tαlk to tαxi guy or whαtever"

αnd spαce gives this guy time to cool off αnd not feel pressure I KNOW! αs women we tend to umm... let's sαy sufficαte them when they turn unresponsive. hαhα I've been guilty I αdmit:)

Don't worry guys am not calling him. I'll see what happens in the next couple days then I'll make my decision. What I should do about him. I feel like maybe he doesn't love me anymore.Why would he do this? One day last week when we were together he told me that he can't live without me. I feel so upset and hurt by this whole situation. Everybodys telling me to move on to someone else, but I don't think that's the best idea right now for me. I still love my ex. I'm giving it time I haven't call him. I'm being strong about the whole thing but I miss him a lot. I don't want to be with another guy right but people are giving me that advice. You have to understand I put a lot into this relationship. I did a lot for my boyfriend. He also did a lot for me. I hope he never forgets all I did for him. I don't know if he's messing with this girl but I know that he's talking to this girl. The girl is 17 yrs old and my boyfriend is 21. Maybe he won't have nothing in common with the girl and realize that he's love me. But I don't know how to forgive him. He really hurt me by lettimg his mother do his dirty work. Me and his mother are really close and for him to do that is bad. Why is this happening to me. I am so sad about this whole thing. Someone help me out.

My boyfriend broke up with me to because he's not man enough to ignore what people say at school... we was together for a month and I cry myself to sleep and its been 5 days since he dumped me so hun I know what your going through try and go out and have fun... to get him off your mind... kk... are you looking around at other guys?I'm not I can't and I have been asked out 20 times since he dumped me.. I won't date anyone else he knows how I feel about him and everything his parents tell him every day that he made the biggest mistake of his life for leaving me because of rumors... he didn't even askme about the rumors he broke up with me the next day... how gay is that?

You have to understand I put a lot into this relationship.

I do understand , but you must understand that he has moved on, and so should you. Accept that its over and put him behind you.

Umm lets see where to start okay he has moved on yes granted but the way he did it hurts... I understand where she's coming from... samnaomi83 I know how your feeling its really hard to get over someone you think you love I'm doing it to because he won't come back to me... my friends are spying on joey so I know whether he s happy or not... when we were dating he told me he loved me and that he would never brake up with me he couldn't sleep sometimes because I'm alll he thinks about... check out my myspace page go to the search box and type chenoa colburn the one with the dog on it and it says hot stuff and looka t my blogs the one that says joey stephens on it... read what he said back to it... how much of bull is that...

Well I'm not saying completely that you should go out and find someone new what I'm saying really is go out and have fun with anybody but don't let your guard down... but still have fun or have a couple girls com over and rent some movies hang out with your girls...

Samnaomi,

Something that took me a really long time to realize may help you out. You certainly seem to have a lot of questions. What should I do, what if he does this, what if he does that, how do I react, how will I forgive him if he comes back, what if he's messing around with other girls, etc, etc, etc. I know what its like to have all these questions running through your head.

In three months, I have finally learned something which helps me to just not care, and calm down. You MUST realize that whatever he is doing, saying, is going to do and say is completely out of your control. Nothing you do will affect how he is going to act. Once I realized this, it is much easier to say to yourself: "Why am I going to worry about what I can't control?". Whatever he is doing, is not your problem anymore. Let it go, work on yourself.

I know that this probably won't sink in to you, but I'm hoping I can spare you some of the time it took me to finally discover this logic.

I will just say this, if I was the boyfriend and every day, day in and day out my girlfirend accused me of cheating because the phone was being used all the time, I would most likely break up also. A lot of trust issues there,and sadly after you burn enough bridges behind you in a relationship you can not always go back, and if you do, it seldoms works and is not normally the same. And you keep calling and calling and calling back every time he hung up.
Sorry I may vote with the boyfriend on this one, but in any case all of the damage is done now and you need to move on, but also perhaps take this as a lesson on more trust in a relationship. If he had a new girlfriend, he would have beenn seeing her and you would have heard about it .

Fr_chuck that was a little hurtful there but it was the truth so I have to give some kudos...

Gues what I found out he's been cheating on me?

Pack up, move on, don't ever look back.

Really that sucks yea don't feel bad its to the point with me I'm getting sick and can't stand anyone now... I want to go home I'm so sick to my stomach

I'll bet no one is surprised, so its over right?

Well duh I'm sure... its over

Really huh...

It would be smart and the best thing for her to do to move on, but Sypher and Talaniman are right, you never know what someone's going to do. Some just remove the knife from their back and put a band aid on it. They make excuses for the person just to be able to stay with them and not be alone.

His excuse for cheating was that every time he broke up with me that's when he went to do his dirty deed. So he doesn't consider it cheating. He's been messing around with two girls plus me. The 17 year old girl he lied to me about he's been messing with her since November. He recently started messing around with a girl from his job. I found all this out on Saturday. He confess everything. He told me that he loves me but I started getting on his nerves. That was his excuse for cheating. Not a good one if you ask me. There's no excuse for that. I will never be with him anymore. I wanted to punch him in the face when he told me this, but I thought about it and I said he's not worth my time. He told me that he doesn't love these girls that he lies to them about loving them just to get what he wants from them. What a loser. I've been with this guy for all this time I can't believe he did this. I didn't even cry about it when he told me. I was just shock that it was out in the open. I will never give my heart out like that no more. He told me that he loves me more then those girls. I told him " you're such an ". One day he'll be old and gray thinking I mess up I had a good thing and lost it. When I get into another relationship I will never let my guard down.

Don't worry what goes around comes around.

When the right man comes along, you'll know it. You won't worry about whether your guard is up or down, you won't need it. You'll know. It will be as plain as the nose on your face. You won't be having to convince yourself that he is respectful, loving and honest, it will be obvious. Be on guard with yourself, yes, but don't put up a wall that no one can break down or your ex won't be the only one growing old alone. Don't punish others for his lack of character.

Can you believe he calls me everyday?

Block his number! It can be done, phone your provider if you can't do it on your phone.

If he wants you back he will come back to you don't make him come to you trust me

He text my phone telling me that he loves me a lot and he miss talking to me on the phone. Also he said that he miss lying next to me in bed.I feel so sorry for him because I can't never be with him no more because I don't trust him. He hurt me so much. I still love him but I am getting over that love. I know there are a lot of guys in this world that wants to be with me and treat me right.

Ight I was in this same situation OK but first of all if he cheated on you why are you sad he's just trying to blame the brake up on you stop calling him and maybe he'll realize he's lost with out you but if you really love him give him his space and don't hate the girl your man was the one who hooked up wit her he could have said no but I know how easy it is to blame everything on da other woman

Can you believe he calls me everyday. The sad part about the whole situation is that I don't pick up. He leaves me a voice message saying that he loves me and the other girls don't mean nothing to him. To bad for him he mess up on a good thing. I love him and I will always love him. But I can move on now knowing the true.

Hey talaniman you want to know something I am going through the same thing right know so why don't you just shut the hell up and get off here cause you don't belong here so go screw some one k

To the girl who posted the page of getting your boyfriend back I'm sorry that I have to do this on your page.

It's o.k. Joeysgirl