So me and my boyfriend have never had sex, and this morning we were talking about it and he was like so when we do have sex, what would you like? And I said I would like for you to not be shy.. (he has always been shy and nervous) and he said "well, I will always be, I will never be comfortable in bed with you..." why?? :(

Hmmmmm sounds like you two need to do a little more communicating. Did you ask him why he said that? How long have you two been together?

Maybe he simply isn't ready for that level of commitment? Some people are just naturally shy. Sometimes they do manage to come out of their shell from time to time, depending on the situation, but it isn't something they can just turn off. Talk some more about it.

When the time is right for both of you, you may find that you can take the lead; help him to become more comfortable over time. It may never be at the level that you think he should be but that may just be part of his personality. You take the whole package, right? IF, in time, you find that you truly aren't compatible, and it is something that you can't adjust to, then you may have to make some decisions.

Cross that bridge, if or when you come to it.

What are the ages, if he is 14, that is the issue, you are still children and he is not mature enough.

If he is 20, and never naked with a girl, that could be an issue.

Also some people are very body shy, they do not like to be seen naked.

How old are you both? Age makes a big difference.

See if he would be happy to go to bed with you dressed? If so, then ask him if he wants to get undressed. Take it in steps. First though what are your ages? Also find out what he means, when he says he will never be happy in bed with you. If you do not like his answer then it is time to move on.

To me, you sound young and naive yourself. I don't mean that in any negative way. It's just that you are online asking a question that only he can answer. We can only guess.
Remember, the man has to get an erection and maintain it - women don't have to do anything to 'help,' and some do, some don't.
Many a first time for guys results in a lost erection out of sheer nervousness.
Many are rightfully worried about pregnancy! Are YOU? Do you know all about it? And about birth control options, and failure rates?

I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.

Joy, once again you are one up on me. Never heard of a "bundling board" before, could be I am not old enough to remember that. LOL But I am pretty old.

I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.

Give me a BREAK joy, bundling board. Whatever happened to just snuggling. How long has it been for you Joy!




I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.

Give me a BREAK joy, bundling board. Whatever happened to just snuggling. How long has it been for you Joy!

You go first tickle.