I filed my EEOC charge of discrimination in Virginia on 07/2013 without a lawyer. When I get my right-to-sue letter and then have to get a lawyer to represent me can he add or remove things to my charge or do I have to stay with what was in the original charge? Does everything start over? If he thinks I did not do a good job can he amend it? For example, if I listed a witness that he thinks should not have be listed can he remove that witness before we go to court?

There will have to be amendments to lists, and notification of witnesses. You should have an attorney review the evidence and talk to witnesses, most cases are impossible to prove legally although they are obvious.

YOU have to decide if you are happy with that lawyer or not.
If you trust him then do what he says. If you don't, then find another.
Keep in mind that witnesses, although vital in a criminal case like murder, hold very little importance in civil court. This won't be like anything you see on TV.

Does everything start over?

If your lawyer doesn't know the answer to these questions, you need another lawyer.