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View Full Version : Can someone check if these lyrics I wrote are okay?


13hastai
Mar 1, 2014, 01:30 PM
I know it needs tweaking but I wrote this in like 10 minutes and I was hoping to get some feedback.

It's called stars

Is it any wonder why I wonder
what it is to see you smile
If I only had a pony on that Christmas
all those years ago
I would be free,
flying through the trees my hair lost in the sky
But without you I'm nothing
Is it any wonder why


I see you staring back at me
Wandering aimlessly
Through the streets without a care
I see you close your eyes
Your mind set on the skies
And the stars that one day I hope to ride


Is there anyway that I can hide
I can hide
Up there in the lonely sky
Lonely sky
Waiting for my tears to dry
Tears to dry
Watching while I wait for you


You cover me
Cover me with your unscathed arms
Living only to keep me from harms way
Is it any wonder that's all I feel inside
Lost in a map of harm that talks inside my head
Only you can slay the dragon burning its words
Burning forever alone
Alone inside that magic and the magical tears


I see you close your eyes
Your mind set on the skies
And the stars that one day I hope to ride




Is there anyway that I can hide
I can hide
Up there in the lonely sky
Lonely sky
Waiting for my tears to dry
Tears to dry
Watching while I wait for you


I will wait for a thousand years
Years to tame the heart inside
Inside of what I'll always know is a home for you to hide
At the end of the days
The weeks, the years
I will love you
If you'll love me
Love me (x6)


Is there anyway that I can hide
I can hide


Hide me (x4)
Is there anyway that I can hide
I can hide
Up there in the lonely sky
Lonely sky
Waiting for my tears to dry
Tears to dry
Watching while I wait for you


I'll hide here inside your arms
Till the stars can burn no more

dontknownuthin
Mar 3, 2014, 05:30 PM
I think you have done a nice job. I Don't fully understand what it means but figuring it out is part of the interest. Stick with it