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girlwithdreams
Apr 14, 2013, 10:53 AM
Okay so I know what your thinking, all guys look at other girls and girls must do the same naturally.. And yeah fair play I understand that, but here's the thing, I've been with my partner 3 years, were both 18 some may say still young. So I had to have an operation and my face was really swollen I'm really sore and boyfriend comes round. Yay. Let me add another thing. He is out with the boys every day and every might I never get an invite and he's always at parties and I never get invited either.. he's changed so much :(

Anyway. So we were cuddling and stuff and he randomly turns to me and says do you look at other guys and find them attractive cause I find some girls so damn hot. This slightly hurt... Okay it killed, but I thought no amber its natural but I just really didn't need too hear it :(( Especially in that state.

So then the next day we spoke and he said I took it the wrong way. Sorry but how can you really take that in the right way? Then I said jokingly.. God you'll be wanting a 3some next.. Stupid thing to say really :( cause he said I wouldn't say no to it, you and one of these other birds.

I know guys dream of it, but seriously keep it for a rainy day. My confidence was torn apart yesterday let alone now.

Basically.. Am I over reacting? Please just don't give hate :(

Wondergirl
Apr 14, 2013, 11:11 AM
A very smart man once told me, "Women civilize men." Think of yourself as the Great Civilizer, the rational one in your relationship, the one who keeps both of you on a steady course. If the rest of the relationship is good, ignore these little-boy outbursts and accept them for the id expressions that they are.

Cat1864
Apr 14, 2013, 11:57 AM
Let me add another thing. He is out with the boys every day and every might I never get an invite and he's always at parties and I never get invited either.. he's changed so much

I am not certain you are over-reacting. I think you may be responding to more than his finding other females 'hot'. Based on what you wrote, I get the impression you are starting to have doubts about the relationship and/or his commitment to it and you.

If he spends so much time with his friends, how much time are you spending together? Has he ever given you are reason for not inviting you to the parties? Is he putting enough energy into the relationship to keep you from feeling like you are the only one trying to keep it going?

I think it is time for you to take a long hard look at the relationship and see if you are getting what you need out of the relationship. Then you need to sit down with him and discuss what each of you expect from the relationship. Together, you need to decide where your relationship is headed.

girlwithdreams
Apr 14, 2013, 01:10 PM
I guess when your faced with something like that at a time when you really do not need to hear it, it just hurts so much more. I have spoken to him about it he just doesn't seem to understand, so I put it in another perspective and said well how would you feel sort of thing but its just like whatever too him he can say and want and do these things but I can't. He puts his friends before me constantly too.. It does hurt :(
I am not certain you are over-reacting. I think you may be responding to more than his finding other females 'hot'. Based on what you wrote, I get the impression you are starting to have doubts about the relationship and/or his commitment to it and you.

If he spends so much time with his friends, how much time are you spending together? Has he ever given you are reason for not inviting you to the parties? Is he putting enough energy into the relationship to keep you from feeling like you are the only one trying to keep it going?

I think it is time for you to take a long hard look at the relationship and see if you are getting what you need out of the relationship. Then you need to sit down with him and discuss what each of you expect from the relationship. Together, you need to decide where your relationship is headed.