Hi there, I'm 17 years old. Would describe myself as sort of a 'jock' and am well over 6 foot, big lad (not fat) and am renowned for being a 'tough guy' and also like to think of myself as quite funny too! So my question there is a girl I like she is also 17. It is almost comical she is very short like 5"1 and relatively quiet, intelligent (not saying I am stupid) but quite popular.I very much like and it pains me to think of a future without her. I consider myself quite shy talking to girls I like. Quite a big problem is the fact she has dated 2 of my friends. First one was about a year long but that must have being about 4 years ago now. They still get on very well and In never truly believe they got over each other. The second one they went out twice, the girl cheated with her first boyfriend though don't get the wrong idea she is definitely not a slut. She had sex about a few times with the 2nd one as well. Also I have quite a close friend who also likes her but has never got anything from her. He has admitted he 'loves' her but I THINK she will only see him as a friend. They are very similar have similar interests and I hate to say it seem perfect for each other. Me and her have always seemed to get on and we very occasionally tease each other, have a laugh.
So basically I guess my question is, is there still hope for me? Or am I fighting a lost cause?

You need to tell her how you feel. Simple as that

you need to tell her how you feel. simple as that
But do I love her or just have some kind of freak obsession with her?

Ask for a date and find out.

I could potentially lose 3 very close friends... is that worth it? I don't think so...

Then why even wonder what she is up to? It doesn't matter if you have no intention of following up, or doing anything about it, so don't dwell on what ifs, or why's and may indeed not know why she did what she did herself.

Who needs the drama and confusion? Let it go.


But do I love her or just have some kind of freak obsession with her?

Not unusual for an unexpected kiss or make out session to trigger intrique and curiosity. Must have been quite a session. But friends is a powerful enough attraction in itself. Feelings are powerful and hard not to act on, or obsess about. Right or wrong.

AT 17 love and obsession and sexual hormone desire is all the same thing.

You can either say something or not, your choice, if you don't, when you are 50, fat and no longer as good looking, you can sit drinking a beer and wonder what would have happened if I had talked to her.

Tut tut, enjoy the ride, go with the flow,something better and taller will come along soon don't stop looking.

Thanks for the input everyone. Does anybody here know what its like to love a girl so much and not get her? Does this pain ever go away? I can't stand it, the thought of not spending the rest of my life with her is killing me, is this normal? And I am going with the old clichie that 'It is a really difficult situation as to why I don't tell her I love her... '

Lison I'm a girl. We love it when you are romantic find something she really like and when you tell her give her something you know means alote to her. Like when my boy friend asked me out he know I love wolves case I don't know I just do. To he carved me out a wolf and made it intoa neckless. It meant alote to me and from that day on he knew I loved him. Try that

Thanks for the input everyone. Does anybody here know what its like to love a girl so much and not get her? Does this pain ever go away? I can't stand it, the thought of not spending the rest of my life with her is killing me, is this normal? And I am going with the old clichie that 'It is a really difficult situation as to why I don't tell her I love her....' it will go away I went throw the same thing with my X-boyfriend ( fyi I'm a girl). I thought I loved him and when I found he cheated I was killed inside. I thought I would never find another person I would love. But I did now I date him and we have been dateing for two year and I'm am happier now then what I ever was

Ok so I am getting the general feeling that I should just leave her which frankly I am not sorry about. On New Year's Eve I am going to this party where there is this quite attractive girl and I think she might like me. Do you think I should do anything with her, would it help me to get over the previous girl? Thanks

Why can't you just party instead of looking for a replacement girl friend? Have you forgotten what a good time is?

Your 'pain' as you put it is of your own doing.


I could potentially lose 3 very close friends... is that worth it? I don't think so...

Your putting your friends above what you feel without allowing yourself or giving yourself the opportunity to find out.

Reality is, if they are indeed 'close friends' no matter what you do.. they should and will understand and stand by you.


Ok so I am getting the general feeling that I should just leave her which frankly I am not sorry about. On New Year's Eve I am going to this party where there is this quite attractive girl and I think she might like me. Do you think I should do anything with her, would it help me to get over the previous girl?

So fickle in thought and in mind. Don't obsess with one girl if the opportunity you think may arise with another... either way I doubt you'll be able to talk to this one either.. good chance she probably likes a friend of yours, been out with one of your friends or knows a friend that knows one of your friends who knows someone else that'll put you in a tail spin.

Enjoy life as it happens.. don't wait for life to create opportunity.. go and make your own.

Yeah OK well then I will just let her go and hope the feeling goes away and I can move on with my life.


it will go away i went throw the same thing with my X-boyfriend ( fyi im a girl). i thought i loved him and when i found he cheated i was killed inside. i thought i would never find another person i would love. but i did now i date him and we have been dateing for two year and im am happier now then what i ever was

She has never being able to cheat on me so that means the feelings might not go away. Also there is a girl I used to like in a similar way and now I just seem to really dislike them for no reason. Can you explain this?

Hi, well last week at a party I told this girl that I liked her... I don't think she said anything but she quickly went and said I need to my and find (won't say name) but her best female friend. Half an hour later I walked past her friend and she said 'is is true you... ' I didn't let her finish I just walked right past her. Why did she walk off as soon as I told her? Is she not interested? Thanks

Wait, what did her friend start to say to you?

Also, why didn't you let her friend say what she had to say? In other words... why did yoy walk away frim her friend in mid sentence?

To be quite honest, if you are interested in this girl, then disrespecting her best friend is not going to earn you any brownie points.

Why did you walk off. Are you not interested?

Wait, I didn't walk away because I wasn't interested. I walked away because I was frustrated at how the conversation had gone. No I didn't disrespect her, definitely we get along all the time and have since had lively talks with each other! :) Also, the best friend did say to the girl I like 'text me about that thing last night' So the girls have clearly talked about it. And the fact that she hasn't said anything I can kind of assume she is not interested? We even got to talk to each other for about 5 minutes and she said nothing... I guess I was just too scared to bring it up again after last time...

Then she is probably not interested.

Then she is probably not interested.

All right thanks, I was afraid of that. Do I pursue her and try and "win her over" or shall I try and let her go?

Alright thanks, I was afraid of that. Do I pursue her and try and "win her over" or shall I try and let her go?

I would leave it alone...

Normaly if two people are interested, one will reveal first, then the other person will agree to it...

She, however, didn't bring it up.

She knows how you feel, and yet says nothing.

I would say let it go before you make yourself look bad and desperate. If she hasn't said anything, she's not interested. Trying to "win her over" will probably just aggravate her and push her away.

Alright thanks, I was afraid of that. Do I pursue her and try and "win her over" or shall I try and let her go?
Let her go. She knows how you feel and she chose not to respond.

Thanks for the answers, I will try and let her go I think. :/ However I do think she should have said something to me even if it was sorry I am not interested. I just thought we were originally better friends than she made out us to bee.

Maybe she just didn't know how to handle hearing that... maybe you caught her off guard and she panicked.

When I was 17 I had a girl tell me that... I panicked. I handled it all wrong. I look back at that now and I hate that I behaved that way but I did. Sometimes we do things that we shouldn't when we are put in an awkward situation.

Am I the only one who here who thinks he should defiantly go after her!? I have learnt always go after the ones you love! Anything could happen, trust me it is never over until she says to your face 'no'!

Oh, that's some great advice from someone who needed to ask this question...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-do-you-make-girl-like-you-712222.html

You don't seem to handle rejection very well. You better learn how.

Well this is not easy but I sure as hell am trying to get away from her, how long do these 'phases' last and does it get worse before it gets better?

You just stay busy doing other things, It will pass.

Hi guys was just wondering if you had any tips on getting over a girl? You see it's quite difficult as I see her everyday and my friends are friends with hers so its not easy!

I suppose it depends if these 3 friends of yours still hang out with her. If not, then if the two of you decide to go out with one other, you could try to limit the amount of awkward encounters you experience within the same friendship circle (but then this would make it seem rather restrictive and unnatural). It all depends what you and her are willing to tolerate if you decide to date and what you think your friends can also handle (you don't want to have them feel their trust in you is betrayed if you are bringing an old flame to the mix). If you think she will be uncomfortable about hanging out with your friends because she used to date them, then this could pose a serious problem for you in a relationship. On one hand, you will resent the fact she doesn't want to hang out with your friends no matter how much you think her reason is justified and she, on the other hand, might feel out of the loop. You will want her to be there with you, to be a part of your life and if these friends are a big part of your life then there's no way you will feel satisfied if she is unable to join in on the same interests, hobbies and friendship circles. If, however, it doesn't phase her that she used to date them and she's cool hanging out then use that as a way to get to know her better and strengthen the relationship. That's just looking realistically ahead if you wanted to pursue this. But thinking in the present, you have nothing to lose by asking her out. She knows there's a good possibly she'll have to face her exs if she goes out with you (because you hang out with them). So if she says "yes" she is aware what she's getting into.

For you, I would just air with a side of caution though because I used to know a girl who dated everyone in the same circle of friends. After a while, it not only gives that person a bad reputation among people, but it makes you feel like she takes your relationship just as lightly if, for example, she decides to eventually leave you and move on to the next friend. Just make sure she isn't repeating history here with you. Otherwise, you will find yourself in the midst of unnecessary hurt and confusion if she decides to go out with another one of your friends. You really don't want a girl who will hop from one guy to the next. If that's the case, she sees no meaning in the relationships she's seeking. She's just dating for the sake of dating. Not fair to you if a committed relationship with her is what you want.

Hope this helped you look at it from a slightly different angle. Good luck!

Thanks, this helps and also makes for very interesting reading! I don't know if you read through all the previous answers but my view had changed on this girl and ironically she was closer to the group than the first one but had never dated any of them! I don't know whether this is me just being unlucky with girls or a moaning little b****! Anyway this new girl to cut it short told her I liked her she ignored me (it's all revealed in the previous answers... ) and now I am going about the slow process of getting over her. :D

LOL, we all have to learn how we will handle rejection, since it comes with the landscape of love and romance. Be nice if the object of our affections felt the same way as we do, but mostly they don't.

I am learning how to handle rejection, sure it is not easy the first couple of times and I am pretty sure human emotion would never be happy when rejected as far as I see it it's fine to be downhearted,