Lynn1969
Sep 2, 2012, 03:40 AM
Hi
I am new on the site and wanted some input in relation to my 'problem'. I have been divorced for 5 years and have three wonderful children, who mean the world to me. They are all growing up now and have their own agendas (they are 16, 17 and 21). The eldest is ready to set up home with his girlfriend.
I work full time, I have good relationships with colleagues and consider myself to be friendly, fairly intelligent and good at holding conversations with people who I meet. However, I have very few close friends. I have my sister who I am in frequent contact with and 2 other close friends who are married with younger children and have their own lives, so don't get to see them much (once a month maybe for coffee/dinner). I have tried to socialise as I don't find it difficult, I have been to language classes, yoga, I go to the gym regularly and attend any social gathering arranged through work, and yet, I find myself feeling very alone and isolated much of the time and have not made any new, meaningful friendships since my divorce.
I have not been in any form of intimate relationship since my divorce, until this summer. I struck up a physical relationship with a guy from my next town but this left me feeling even worse because he didn't want a serious relationship, which I accepted and thought a bit of fun may make me feel better, but it didn't so I ended things after a couple of months.
I have also tried to begin enjoying my own company, doing my own thing outside of work, reading, writing, watching movies etc but I am so sick and tired of doing everything alone, all of the time. It's starting to make me feel low and the thoughts about how lonely and alone I actually am are beginning to consume me. I have read self help books 'love yourself', 'it's OK to be single', 'get to know yourself' and all the other psychobabble. Have any of these 'experts' actually ever been in a situation that they advise upon?
Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone with similar experiences to mine. I'd also love to hear from anyone who has any advice for me as to what I am meant to do when I feel that I have tried everything and continue to get lower and lower in my mood.
Thank you very much for reading.
I am new on the site and wanted some input in relation to my 'problem'. I have been divorced for 5 years and have three wonderful children, who mean the world to me. They are all growing up now and have their own agendas (they are 16, 17 and 21). The eldest is ready to set up home with his girlfriend.
I work full time, I have good relationships with colleagues and consider myself to be friendly, fairly intelligent and good at holding conversations with people who I meet. However, I have very few close friends. I have my sister who I am in frequent contact with and 2 other close friends who are married with younger children and have their own lives, so don't get to see them much (once a month maybe for coffee/dinner). I have tried to socialise as I don't find it difficult, I have been to language classes, yoga, I go to the gym regularly and attend any social gathering arranged through work, and yet, I find myself feeling very alone and isolated much of the time and have not made any new, meaningful friendships since my divorce.
I have not been in any form of intimate relationship since my divorce, until this summer. I struck up a physical relationship with a guy from my next town but this left me feeling even worse because he didn't want a serious relationship, which I accepted and thought a bit of fun may make me feel better, but it didn't so I ended things after a couple of months.
I have also tried to begin enjoying my own company, doing my own thing outside of work, reading, writing, watching movies etc but I am so sick and tired of doing everything alone, all of the time. It's starting to make me feel low and the thoughts about how lonely and alone I actually am are beginning to consume me. I have read self help books 'love yourself', 'it's OK to be single', 'get to know yourself' and all the other psychobabble. Have any of these 'experts' actually ever been in a situation that they advise upon?
Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone with similar experiences to mine. I'd also love to hear from anyone who has any advice for me as to what I am meant to do when I feel that I have tried everything and continue to get lower and lower in my mood.
Thank you very much for reading.