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View Full Version : My girlfriend for 1.5 years says she loves me, but not like a boyfriend?


JoeJohnIarop
Mar 23, 2012, 04:54 AM
We started dating last year in November, and its been great ever since. About a month ago I started noticing that she wouldn't hold my hand, give me hugs, or reply when I say I love you. We have gotten into fights before where she says that I don't let her make her own choices, but her choices always want to go drive around with her slutty friends with 23 year olds (I'm 16, and she's 15), but when I tell her that I don't feel comfortable with her doing that, and I ask if I could go with them, since she says that we should hang out with friends together, and says lets do it, she says no, I'm judgemental, or there's no room, or they don't want to hang out with you.

And I talked to her best friend last night, and she said that they have never said that and she couldn't believe that she said that (my girlfriend). And I never thought she was like that, and when I asked if she still loved me she said that she loves me like a friend, and she still cares about me. But just yesterday we where having so much fun together, she even made me ride a horse. She was holding my hand, she told me she loved me, and she would kiss me.

But then at school the next day we where fine until afternoon she started getting depressed, and wouldn't give me hugs, or a kisses because I don't see her all day and all she would say is get over it and walk away. Then I've also noticed whenever I text her, she never answers and if she does its just stupid one word answers even when I try to start the conversation. Now she went to her friends house last night, and she said she was sorry and that she's a ***** witch she isn't, and was saying why.

Can't we take a break and see how it goes so I could try to love you like I you used too.. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Then we started talking and we're fine and she says she's going to have a drink which we only drank together because I don't trust the d-bags, her friends like to hang out with and who she used to hang out with, who would take advantage of any girl in a sec. So I asked her if it was only her, and her 2 girlfriend, and she said yes, and when I talked to her best friend she said it was only going to be them. Then at 12 she decides to tell me there's 3 guys there and that her friends are getting with 2 of them, and that they just left. Then I asked her what her and the other guy where doing. And she said nothing. Which I some what believe because she's always been honest but with every thing going on, I just don't know.

Also this week, her 2 friends were going to go camping with those same 3 guys. And she asked if she could go a little while ago and she was going to go, and I said that I don't want her to go unless I was invited and. She said why, and claims that she didn't hear that there was guys going and she won't go. So now I asked her to hang out on Saturday when they where supposed to go camping and she said she's busy. Which for once I don't believe her. She said that even though we are taking a break she's not going to get with any guys.

But I have no clue what to do or make her happy, when she won't even hang out with me.. HELP Please.

JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2012, 05:18 AM
This is very difficult to read but she doesn't want you to hang out with her friends because you are judgmental.

You say you are not judgmental (and you don't think you are) but you refer to them as "slutty" and "d-bags."

I think she's telling you very clearly that she does not want you interacting with her other friends. The "I'm too busy" line usually takes the place of "I don't want to see you," which is more cruel.

I think she's finished with the relationship with you.

JoeJohnIarop
Mar 23, 2012, 05:27 AM
Okay first off the judgemental part comes from this one guy who she was singing with and he said she would be famous which I know she's has the talent but he doesn't... And I told her that I don't want him to hang out with hin because he is using you for your money and equipment to record and I don't trust one thing about him because of this... The next thing you know he was arrested for rapping a girl amd tey found a list of his group of friends wanted to kil... And me cAlling them slutty us 100% Fact... Not every girl suxks off 30 guys in a wendys parking lot and ****s about ten of them... So I don't know... And every person I judge I don't judge over something they can't control I judge over there personality and what they are like... And nit till I get to onow them and learn about then and see who they really are

JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2012, 06:35 AM
I'm not discussing (or arguing) who or what her "friends" are or aren't. She is saying you are judgmental and, yes, you appear judgmental.

She's 15 years old. Where are her parents? I don't think you at 16 have the experience necessary to "parent" her and she apparently doesn't appreciate your guidance.

She's being used for her money and recording equipment? She has money and recording equipment at age 15?

You "only" drink together - ? Aren't you both under age?

And you're right - not every girl "sucks off 30 guys in a wendys parking lot and ****s about ten of them." How do you know about this?

Apparently there's not a lot that you like about this girl and/or her friends. Why don't you move on?

JoeJohnIarop
Mar 23, 2012, 08:37 AM
I can't move on because I love her.. And she's always said she loves me back... and say you had a little sisster or a girl that you love who wants to hang out with her "friends" who want to dricve around with guys twice there age and do stuoid ****.. Friends who will just ditch her and leave her there and she realizes it when it happens but always thinks it won't happen...

JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2012, 09:07 AM
I'm sorry but when someone tells me they like me as a friend but they don't love me I believe them and move on.

You are NOT her parent or her keeper or her older brother.

What would I do? I'd figure I had done all I could and move on before my life gets destroyed along with hers.

And you are both drinking under age?

talaniman
Mar 23, 2012, 03:21 PM
You are just a friend do do stuff with, like her other older friends. Sure she says she loves you, but treats you like crap when her other friends are doing stuff she would rather do. That makes you a sometime friend and she loves you sometimes. Nothing like your love for her which is quite frankly making you look like a helpless idiot whose heart is giving him lousy advise.

No self respecting guy puts up with this crap, not for love or anything else. Only the desperate, or misguided. And that's not love fellow, its rather pathetic that you ALLOW it, and keep coming back for more.

I highly suggest you reconsider why you allow her to crap on you this way. And put a stop to it. How, by standing up for yourself and take the hint you care a lot more than she does, and she will say any thing to do as she pleases whether you like it or NOT!

JoeJohnIarop
Mar 23, 2012, 07:37 PM
Reply to talaniman... Well I don't feel as if she craps on me and I know what love love is I'm guarantee I do... Ive had a couple girlfriend and she's the only one that Ive felt like thus with... I can tell her anything and she can tell me anything and still seems to be that way... We have been texting wile she's been at her friends house and she said that she's trying to figure everything out and whys she's depressed about everything because she always has a lot on her mind she always has homework and she works with kids and just about two months ago started staying after school till 10:00 everyday and is exhausted and we seem to nit be able to hang out even over weekends I would ask but she would be too tired. Except a couple times I would just show up and bring her lunch when I was done working and we would watch movies and be completely fine.. And then the next day she would be depressed.. Its almost like when were together it's a good relationship and then ill leave and when we would text she would be upset... If I could only go back in time I feel like I haven't done the best I could for her... And what she usually wants is best for me and I want the best fir her... She always thinks about me and never let me do stuff for her... I think I figured it all out on what I did wrong... I think I just tell her I love her too much and the ways I show my love isn't how she sees it

talaniman
Mar 23, 2012, 08:31 PM
Before we go further, that chat/text speak is NOT allowed, and very hard for us old folks to understand. At least be understood properly by checking your own post.

You can believe what you want my friend, but she isn't ready for any relationship, and clearly neither are you. You seek to change her and protect her, and no doubt she is smothered because she is at the age to enjoy and explore, NOT be told what to do by a father figure, or big BROTHER.

This isn't a relationship, not a healthy one, as she has nothing to share but seeks to understand herself, but she does need a safe comfortable place to regroup, and that's your soul purpose. While I get you care, and that's admirable, you will never save her from herself. And at your age its unreasonable and unlikely you can help her in the ways she needs because you will always be to distracted to see this for yourself.

And don't tell me about past girls, and feelings and that load of crap, because the only ones you can control are your own, and you aren't doing a great job of that at this time. That's why I highly suggest you get your head on straight my friend, and see reality, and not the fantasy your feelings are feeding you because this whole thing is about your attachments and fears of being alone.

Its pretty normal for young guys to get latched on love, but in all honesty, its NOT a two way street, and you cannot make it one. So until you let her go completely, and have her make her own choices, mistakes, and learn her own lessons, you will continue to be her emotional tampon. And that's not love, nor is it healthy.

The true act of love is to let her grow. The rest of the crap you are talking about are but your own out of control feelings. Sorry to be harsh, but following your feelings, and listening to your heart, will do you both no good, and will cause more bad than good as so far you have only seen a small part of the misery that you will bring each other. For sure, doing this her way is plain unacceptable.

THINK ABOUT IT!