My sister relinquished her rights to her baby six months ago and the baby is with a prospective adoption family. She told us it was a stillborn and we just found out she lied via internet last week. We submitted documents to intervene the termination of parental rights of the unknown father where the judge heard our situation but were denied and told that we have zero rights as family members of the mother since she relinquished hers. We are devastated and very interested in getting that baby back to our family.

She listed unknown father-one night stand on the documents but the father has lived with her for 3 years and they have a two year old together. Worried about having to pay the hospital bills or child support, the father missed the hearing. He has apologized and wants help claiming the baby, getting it back, and possibly handing it over to the capable and willing aunts or grandparents to adopt. What are his chances of being able to get custody when he has never even met the baby? Can they actually adopt the baby without his consent? How can we do this legally? Thank you thank you thank you! Your help is very much appreciated.

Nevada

He apologized? To whom?
It sounds like you are rushing in to take over his shared expenses with your sister, since he can't or won't. Now you pay a good lawyer to work for him. You have nothing to do with it, until/unless this happens in his favor.

Where is this? Rights of fathers vary by state. Has paternity been established by DNA, is he on the birth certificate? If he was really living there how is it she was lying but he wasn't?

He apologized? To whom?
It sounds like you are rushing in to take over his shared expenses with your sister, since he can't or won't. Now you pay a good lawyer to work for him. You have nothing to do with it, until/unless this happens in his favor.

Where is this? Rights of fathers vary by state. Has paternity been established by DNA, is he on the birth certificate? If he was really living there how is it she was lying but he wasn't?

He apologized to my heartbroken father who they all live with. He thinks he can just walk into court and say "gimme my baby" and they will have to. Supposedly, she told everyone the baby died, him included so he was not involved in the relinquishment or adoption planning and my sister said it was an unknown father. But, we can't really trust anything they say at this point. He has been clear that neither one of them want another baby because they're too much work (apparently, so it putting on a condom). His first step will be establishing paternity which I figured out but I don't want the whole family to get their hopes up again if there is no hope of this happening. Location is Nevada. Thanks for your help.

You need to consider your sister's emotions in this. Giving up a child for adoption is hard enough. Now you want to raise this child in her face? If this is what she wanted she would have chosen this path.

As a delivery nurse I have seen this scenario one too many times. While it is hard on the family, it's harder on the mother to watch her child grow up within her extended family. It's gut wrenching to say the least.

You need to consider your sister's emotions in this. Giving up a child for adoption is hard enough. Now you want to raise this child in her face? If this is what she wanted she would have chosen this path.

As a delivery nurse I have seen this scenario one too many times. While it is hard on the family, it's harder on the mother to watch her child grow up within her extended family. It's gut wrenching to say the least.

Yeah, I can only imagine. We want to do everything possible to fight for this little girl and feel it is the right thing to do as a family. Thanks for your insight. It's one of the worst times in of our lives and our hearts are broken that this little girl was given to strangers when there are plenty of family members who would gladly raise her with lots of love. Thanks anyway.

Have you considered if your sister wants to watch this baby grow up?

You might feel that it is the right thing to do as a family, but is it the right thing to do for your sister?

If he loses, try to realize that her adopting parents won't be total strangers to her.
I know that is a bitter pill, and it's not meant to be tossed in your face as though this is not a heart wrenching event.
He and she can go on file for contact should she ever look for them as an adult.
I would guess that this is going to cost you a lot in his legal fees, depending on how far the adoption has gone, because the father is probably going to be considered complicit in the lie. I'm sorry, I just don't believe that she managed to lie to him. I'm not sure you believe that either.
These are two adults making their own decisions. You can fight, but as you were told when you went to court, the rest of you have no rights.

I think as a sister and family you are butting into something that is really( and sorry) none of your business. Legally only the father can do something, so you all need to let him do it or let it go.

At this point the family has had and raised the baby as its own for six months to try and take a baby away from its "MOM and DAD" at this point is not moral or legal.

The bio father was aware of this happening and was OK with it,

So let it go and let a wonderful family have their child. I think this is just terrrible that you would try something like this.

Bottom line here is the father has rights.But he needs to go to court and enforce those rights NOW. The family can help him by paying for a lawyer, and testifying that the mother lied. But that is all.

But this is not going to be a slam dunk. A judge is going to look at the fact that they live together. A judge is going to wonder how she was able to go to the hospital without the father's (or the family's) knowledge. A judge will take into account the mother being forced to be faced with a child she wanted to give up and how that will affect the child.

My guess is the judge will allow the adoption to go through. So maybe you guys should save your money and think what will be best for the child and the mother.

There is no proof yet as to who the father is. She may have really had a one-night stand and believed he is the father, not her partner.

There is no proof yet as to who the father is. She may have really had a one-night stand and believed he is the father, not her partner.

Good point. If they are not married, then he would not be the presumed father. So yes establishment of paternity would be the first step.

But I still think this is a waste of money.

But I still think this is a waste of money.
And it seems like it's an opportunity for a lot of upset and/or heartbreak, especially for the adoptive family.

I am a birthmother whose family did to me what you are trying to do to your sister---tried to force me to choose to place the child with family once they knew I wasn't going to back down on the adoption.

I was yelled at, made to feel guilty, given the silent treatment, got hate letters, and basically got told what a scum of a piece of human being I was for giving my child to complete strangers. In trying to show me how VERY much my family loved my child, they showed me that they didn't care very much for ME, because they were putting their own feelings above my own.

It took me YEARS (and a lot of counseling) to forgive them.

And that while the father of the child can contest the adoption, no judge is going to let him contest it only so that he can give the child to his/her mother's family to raise, in direct contrast to the mother's wishes.

ESPECIALLY since you will be ripping that child away from his/her parents, who love that child very much.

What you want is very selfish, and essentially shows that you care nothing for your sister.

I think you have to ask yourself why you're really doing this. Who are you really doing it for?

Are you doing it for your sister, who didn't want the child, which is why she gave the baby up? Are you doing it for the father of the child who also doesn't want the child, but is willing to give the child to your family? Are you doing it for the baby, that's known two people as her parents for the last 6 months, and considers those people to be mom and dad? Or are you doing it only because it's what you want, without considering how it will effect everyone else, especially the baby and her parents (the adopted mom and dad), and your sister?

I don't think you've thought this through. Just because you and your family want something, that doesn't mean it's in the best interest of the child, or everyone else involved.

Respect your sister's wishes, and let it go. Let this baby have a normal life, and not have to go through years and years of court battles, and grow to hate you because you're tearing her family (the adopted parents) apart.

Synnen, that was eloquent.

If the adoption isn't final.. then no parental rights have been relinquished... Once the adoption is final... then they are and its effectively too late. Because its going to cost a small fortune in legal fees for a small possibility of success at best if it has gone through.

Is the adoption final yet... or not. This means everything.

If the adoption isn't final..then no parental rights have been relinquished....Once the adoption is final...then they are and its effectively too late. Because its going to cost a small fortune in legal fees for a small possibility of success at best if it has gone through.

Is the adoption final yet....or not. This means everything.
Actually parental rights are relinquished before the adoption is final. Many times they are relinquished while the mother and baby are still in the hospital. I have had to witness these forms many times.

Actually parental rights are relinquished before the adoption is final. Many times they are relinquished while the mother and baby are still in the hospital. I have had to witness these forms many times.
But during the actual adoption process in the court... right? In that part of the timeline?

Relinquishing rights has to happen BEFORE adoption happens. In at least some states, there is a wait time for an adoption to happen after the child is living with the prospective adoptive parents. This usually has NOTHING to do with overturning the relinquishment and EVERYTHING to do with making sure that the parents and child are a good fit with each other. I know in WI that timing is 6 months, but I don't know about other states. Once you relinquish, the amount of time you have to change your mind or to overturn the relinquishment is MUCH shorter than the wait time to adopt. If the adoptive parents and child are not a good fit, then the child becomes a ward of the state and placed in foster care--the child is NOT returned to the biological parents.

In this case, I am sure that parental rights HAVE been relinquished. The adoption itself has just not been finalized in a court yet.