BobMarley777
Feb 9, 2012, 05:54 PM
We have been going out for 11 months, I have had a big problem with forgiving myself and others for big things in my past and she has been nagging at me to try to fix it. I have asked her not to nag because I find it harder to do what she nags about.
A few nights ago I had walked her home and as we got to the door we started to argue about my unforgiving, and then she said that she thinks we should have a break, I panicked and said goodnight and walked home. The next day at college(we sit next to each other) said practically nothing to me but was all chatty and happy as if nothing was wrong. She says that she still feels the same for me and that she doesn't want a break just as much as me, but I feel like she doesn't even care about me and that she can't have cared about me because she acts as if we are just acquaintances.
She has a strong logical mind and tends to have strong emotional boundaries, she has stated in the past that she doesn't even care about how something she says hurts her because what she says should effect me emotionally. Since the break she has said that I need to have shown some evidence of me dealing with my forgiveness problems, and I have to not rely on her for anything, When she said this she was saying that I rely on her alone to be able to change in anyway, I don't believe that this is true, but I could be bias.
I am and have been dealing with my forgiveness problems but I have no Idea how to change something that I don't know that I have. I don't know what to rely on or even how to not rely on her. She has also said that I rely on her and others far too much for my confidence, encouragement and strength. She gave me a book to read last year called, "Boundaries, how to say yes and how to say no to take control of your lives." I have read it but everything in my childhood years contradicts that I shouldn't feel pain for something someone else has said about me, I don't know how to think that way.
I am really lost and need some help. If you could help I would be really grateful =)
A few nights ago I had walked her home and as we got to the door we started to argue about my unforgiving, and then she said that she thinks we should have a break, I panicked and said goodnight and walked home. The next day at college(we sit next to each other) said practically nothing to me but was all chatty and happy as if nothing was wrong. She says that she still feels the same for me and that she doesn't want a break just as much as me, but I feel like she doesn't even care about me and that she can't have cared about me because she acts as if we are just acquaintances.
She has a strong logical mind and tends to have strong emotional boundaries, she has stated in the past that she doesn't even care about how something she says hurts her because what she says should effect me emotionally. Since the break she has said that I need to have shown some evidence of me dealing with my forgiveness problems, and I have to not rely on her for anything, When she said this she was saying that I rely on her alone to be able to change in anyway, I don't believe that this is true, but I could be bias.
I am and have been dealing with my forgiveness problems but I have no Idea how to change something that I don't know that I have. I don't know what to rely on or even how to not rely on her. She has also said that I rely on her and others far too much for my confidence, encouragement and strength. She gave me a book to read last year called, "Boundaries, how to say yes and how to say no to take control of your lives." I have read it but everything in my childhood years contradicts that I shouldn't feel pain for something someone else has said about me, I don't know how to think that way.
I am really lost and need some help. If you could help I would be really grateful =)