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SadGuy91
Nov 8, 2011, 03:22 PM
Hey guys,

I need some advice. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday and pretty much said she has no feelings for me any more. She cares about me a lot but does not love me any more. I asked what has changed as we were fine the last time I saw her and she said she just doesn't know. Do feelings change on a whim?

I absolutely love(d?) this girl to bits and would have done anything for her, it was a real shock to the system to her those words coming out of her mouth and I just don't know what to do with myself. It hurts so bad :( I really feel like I've lost someone significant in my life and I feel helpless and rejected. Was it because of me that she lost her feelings?

I have known this girl for 3 years and we we're only together for 7 months but lived together for 6 of those months, as we were flat mates. We recently moved back to our home town but are not living together. Could that have been a factor? We did see each other pretty much daily. We're both 20 years old and don't really know what we want out of life, so I guess that could be another factor?

I just want to get over it and move on, because there is way I can describe the pain of being told that the person you love does not love you back :'( it hurts immensely and I wish it could worked out so much more.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.

mmresd
Nov 8, 2011, 04:20 PM
It doesn't matter how her feelings changed or why she has decided to make such an irrational decision (at least to you). What matters is that she has made the decision that she no longer wants to be with you and you are going to have to accept and respect that. The reason as to why the break up happened is not important, it will not help you get back with her, and it will not help you get over it. It hurts, yes, it is supposed to hurt, not only are you giving up someone you deeply cared for, but you are also going to have to get used to being single again. You are not hopeless, we have all been in your position, not that it makes it less painful, but we know that that particular pain in only a sting, a sting that will fade as time goes by. Maybe a long time, maybe less than you think, that is completely up to. However, for you to minimize that time, you will need to go no contact and start rebuilding your life on your own, keep yourself busy, and keep your head up. It WILL go away.

talaniman
Nov 8, 2011, 04:23 PM
So sorry my friend, I know its quite painful to go through a break up, and feel the hurt and disappointment of rejection. It sucks for us all when we go through a break up.

But we gather the pieces of our lives and learn that feelings do indeed change for all kinds of reasons, both known, and unknown, and we have to make adjustments heal, and regroup to live on with our lives.

It will get better. And for most of us, we do find better partners, some after many trials and errors.But in time it does get better

Read the stickies here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/) and see how many of us get through what you are going through.

SadGuy91
Nov 8, 2011, 09:59 PM
Hey guys,

I've read some of the stickies and I'm feeling better, still sad but hey you can't change what has happened but only what will happen, right?

Time to move on and focus on me.

Thank you for your help! :)

vanheart
Nov 8, 2011, 11:47 PM
"she has no feelings for me any more"

That's all you need to hear. And hearing it is the worst.

There's only one thing to do.

Say, thanks & later...