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View Full Version : He rejected me. When is good to talk to him again?


lollipop999
Sep 30, 2011, 01:53 PM
I met this guy in college. It was my last semester, and he still has 2 years to go. We've been friends for that whole semester. We're both funny and friendly but reserved, so he was the only one I really became friend from that class, and so was I to him.

I was attracted to him, but I was trying to make sure my feelings don't get to deep, because I was planning on going to grad school in another country. Then in May, right before school ended, we worked on a project together and he wanted to visit my place really late at night. Around that time, I started to feel that he has feelings for me too, because he would lean on me and would whisper to my ears and stuff.. He wouldn't do that to anybody, I know that for sure.

Anyway, while he stayed at my place that night, I confessed that I liked him, and he put his arm around me and then we were laying on my bed. I stopped him, because I felt like he misunderstood my intention. I wasn't trying to sleep with him, I just wanted to tell him my feelings and wanted to find out about his feeling.

When I asked him about his feelings, he said that he doesn't know and my feelings were surprise to him. Then he said he's not ready for a serious relationship and he doesn't want to use my feelings to just have fun for 5 days since I'll be gone farway to study after graduation. He basically rejected me and when I asked him if we could stay as friends, he said he can't. He said that he doesn't believe in friendship between girl&guy.

Several days later I texted him really casually, just saying how are you and he did reply. I tried to talk to him in person by asking him to see me then he said that's not a good idea...

He went back to his country for summer, and while he was there I tried to friend request him on fb and stuff, but he just ignored me. Now he's back in US. And it happened that I'm not going to study overseas, rather I'll be starting next year at the college we went together..

Its been almost 4 months since I talk to him, and I see he's online everyday.. Is it OK for me to say "hi how you've been?" that kind of stuff? Or would it push him away? He probably doesn't even know that I'm still here.. I really want this guy, but I don't know if he's completely over with me or I still have chance..

I know this is really long, but wish someone could advise me. Thank you

scentedcandles
Sep 30, 2011, 03:55 PM
Don't ever contact him... move on.

0rphan
Oct 2, 2011, 10:38 AM
Hi lollipop, you've tried to text him, he doesn't answer,you've also friends requested him on fb,still no response,you know he's on line, so he must know you are too,surely that is saying leave me alone, by him.

You seem intent on speaking to him,although that may not be a good idea,he may say something that you'd rather not hear,however I get the feeling that you will not give up until your told point blank.

The only thing I can think for you to do is too e-mail him,that way you can be polite and fill him in on your current situation,no pressure.He can then take his time reading your mail and decide if he will correspond to it.(I presume you have his e-mail address)

Stop texting or trying to message him in every other way,give it a while and then e-mail him if you must,if only to close the chapter for yourself which will allow you to move foreword.

DaniCalifornia
Oct 2, 2011, 12:10 PM
I've been in this very situation sweetheart.

When I was 16, I had a close male friend, whom I eventually fell for. It seemed like he liked me back, but he sent extreme mixed signals. One minute he'd be telling me I'm 'hot', the next he'd ignore me.

Needless to say, in the end he turned out to have just been leading me on, and when he found something else to do, he completely stopped talking to me.

I think you're wasting your time honey. You've got more to life to experience than to be waiting on this one in particular. Forget him! And just remember, the one that's right for you will never let you go.

X Dani

talaniman
Oct 2, 2011, 02:51 PM
Sorry but he doesn't seem interested at all. If he was you would know it.

Hey you tried, it didn't work. That happens. Not all encounters will be a love connection.

lollipop999
Oct 2, 2011, 11:25 PM
Thanks guys for your honest opinions.. I finally decided to let go of this guy. I just felt like we could work something out, but probably I was trying to comfort myself by thinking this way..

talaniman
Oct 3, 2011, 09:59 AM
That's a great observation!