doingLaundry
Aug 14, 2011, 11:56 AM
I became good friends (I thought) with a guy at work. We would talk about personal stuff at and outside of work, on the phone, etc. In one of our conversations he told me he knew I'd had a crush on him (to which I'd said it was closer to love, but it wasn't anything I wanted to pursue, because I knew he was straight). He seemed okay with this, until he came to a party with my family and I'd told him some from my family thought we were a couple, and I jokingly said it wouldn't bother me if we were (yes, I know, stupid thing to say).
For over a month after he avoided me at work, wouldn't call me, and when I would call him to try to find out what was going on he wouldn't talk to me. After a couple more weeks of this I confronted him about this and he said we were okay, and still friends. We were at work so I didn't press for more information, but still he didn't change how he acted towards me. He called me one last time (at my request), and got pissed at me when I asked him what was going on, he wouldn't explain, insisted we were still friends. He said he didn't have the time he used to (which didn't make sense to me since he was always seemed to find time to socialize with other people at work). It didn't seem like it to me and I said as much, because he was still avoiding me. He said I sounded like a jealous girlfriend or boyfriend, and at the time I rejected the statement but I wondered about it later. Was he right?
His birthday came a couple days after this last conversation / argument, but I didn't call or text him, because I was feeling a little self conscious about being overly friendly, and didn't think he wanted to hear from me again for a while. Next time I saw him I could tell he was still pissed, but I blew it off. The ignoring continued, but I wasn't letting it affect my other work interactions anymore - laughing and joking with other colleagues.
A week later, and we're speaking to each other at work, a mixture of personal stuff and work issues, but only in passing.
It's been a month, he'll still take lunch and breaks with other people, and it's clear I'm excluded. I'm sure if I'd ask him he'd say we were still friends though. Don't know if this is the new normal for us, or if we're 'on the mend, don't know, because he still won't talk to me about it. Maybe I've answered my own question here, if this was important to him he would want to talk it out.
Any thoughts? Tired of being in friend limbo.
For over a month after he avoided me at work, wouldn't call me, and when I would call him to try to find out what was going on he wouldn't talk to me. After a couple more weeks of this I confronted him about this and he said we were okay, and still friends. We were at work so I didn't press for more information, but still he didn't change how he acted towards me. He called me one last time (at my request), and got pissed at me when I asked him what was going on, he wouldn't explain, insisted we were still friends. He said he didn't have the time he used to (which didn't make sense to me since he was always seemed to find time to socialize with other people at work). It didn't seem like it to me and I said as much, because he was still avoiding me. He said I sounded like a jealous girlfriend or boyfriend, and at the time I rejected the statement but I wondered about it later. Was he right?
His birthday came a couple days after this last conversation / argument, but I didn't call or text him, because I was feeling a little self conscious about being overly friendly, and didn't think he wanted to hear from me again for a while. Next time I saw him I could tell he was still pissed, but I blew it off. The ignoring continued, but I wasn't letting it affect my other work interactions anymore - laughing and joking with other colleagues.
A week later, and we're speaking to each other at work, a mixture of personal stuff and work issues, but only in passing.
It's been a month, he'll still take lunch and breaks with other people, and it's clear I'm excluded. I'm sure if I'd ask him he'd say we were still friends though. Don't know if this is the new normal for us, or if we're 'on the mend, don't know, because he still won't talk to me about it. Maybe I've answered my own question here, if this was important to him he would want to talk it out.
Any thoughts? Tired of being in friend limbo.