I have been having increasing problems with my husband. This last time he had no consideration that an uncle of mine was in his death bed. He always starts accusing me of things when I am with my family. Only when I'm with them. I went with my mother to the hospital to see her dying brother. I left my youngest daughter with her gramdmother. My husband accused me of not wanting to take my daughter so I can take my sister and her daughter.

Mind you my husband hates my sister. Well the day after he goes with me to visit my uncle. After leaving the hospital he proceeds to tell me why I lie. He says he talked to my older girls and that they confirmed what he suspected. Which was not true. He makes up things to try to get something out of me. This is not the first time he does that.

He is getting too manipulative and I think I should go now before he gets more controlling. There are a lot more things, but this was it. I don't know what to do. I am tired of all this. HELP!



Edited/T

Sounds like your husband is very insecure and inconsiderate. And for him to get your kids involved by more than likely grilling them is a big no no. If you feel like the issues can be resolved with the two of you even if a third party have to get involved (counseling), if he is willing to see one, then I don't see how it will work. In the end you have to do what is right for you and sorry to hear about your uncle.

Sorry about the uncles health, and that's enough to frustrate any one, and add to that your husbands behavior... that can be too much.

Ignore him, and his boorish behavior, he seeks attention, don't give him any. And never allow him to use your own kids against you. Take a stand, say what you mean, and mean what you say.

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle.

It seems to me that he wants your full attention 24/7.If you have to go out at some point,no matter where it may be you have to take the children with you,indicating that he doesn't trust you or what you are saying.When you don't take your children rather than come right out and say "who were you really seeing", he'ii do his very best to provoke a row between you,even to the point of inventorary lies using your children.

I think he feels that he should be your number one priority in life no matter what incident takes place,even to the point of life or death situation... how very selfish that is...

I wonder if he was always like this and you weren't aware,maybe to busy with the kids or alike,or this is a recent development!

He obviously has insecurity issues,maybe things have gone stale in your marriage and your spending very little time together,which is making him the way that he is.Perhaps he thinks there is someone else in your life and he's frightened of losing you.

You need to ask yourself if you still love your husband and if you really want your marriage to work.If your answer is yes,then you both need to sit down and do some serious talking to sort these issues out.

The questions really are:

Are you prepared to sort things out because you really love your husband and do not want to break up the home if your marriage can be saved?
Or
You don't love your husband,there is nothing in the marriage to fight for anymore,you want out...

Tough decision... only you know all the details to make the right decision for you and your family.