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snowpink
May 10, 2011, 05:36 AM
I am a young lady in my mid twenties. Kind and really friendly and has been
Through so much. I so resent my mother’s family. Ill refer to my mother’s
Siblings as follows
B-female (Mother’s older sister)
E-male (Uncle)
E is the last born and we were living with him at my gran’s place. He just
Used to bring different ladies (More than 20different) up until he got married
In 2008. The wife was from a really disadvantage background and all she had was
Some grey long skirt and big outdated shoes. My mother gave her some of her
Clothes, night dresses and even bought her kid(from previous r-ship) clothes
(before meeting him)and supporting them financially as my uncle’s wife only
Got a job in 2008 as a security guard and she would even buy her nappies and my
Uncle doesn’t earn a decent salary.. She started changing… Getting along
With my mother’s sister (B) and bad mouthing us whenever she would visit her
(she stays in the rural areas). And that house where she lives in a family
House.
Just recently my uncle wasn’t working and my mother would pay tuition fee and
Help out whenever she could for my 15 year old cousin who attended a private
School. Because my uncle’s wife couldn’t support her as she is her step
Daughter.
What happened is that my uncle borrowed R6000 from me in order to buy a car and
I told him I don’t have it. He and the wife then started calling the sister(B)
Telling her that impilo ayisekho mnandi (because I didn’t borrow him the
Money)endlini thus my mother should move out and go rent a place as they cant
Because they have a kid(which means me and my siblings we not that important, we can
Go rent a place) .
My mother is a single lady and she couldn’t afford getting her own house
Besides, she tried and ended up being crooked by some family now she is paying
4800 per month for a house she doesn’t stay in. she wanted me to get educated
(and I did) so I could help her out. I feel it’s wrong to treat my mother this
Way as my gran’s place it’s still her home (last born rule of saying the
Last one inherits the house is unfair). How could they treat her this way?
Especially after everything she has done for them? And isn’t that bo makoti
Are supposed to bring peace and not cause more fights?
We finally moved Aza and mama entered into another bond. I am thankful to God
For that and am finally free. My problem is I can’t forgive. It has hurt my
Mother so much Aza and as a result its hurting me I can’t forgive aunt B and
My uncle and his wife because family is suppose to be there for you and not
Hurt you. I keep wishing them bad things. I am a Christian but I feel can’t
Heal up until something bad happens to them. Has any listener been hurt by
Family. How did they get over it? Is this normal? I just want to move on and
Concentrate on making new memories in the new house with my mother and my
Siblings and have a relationship with God. If I don’t forgive I may pay the
Price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and
New experience. My life may become so wrapped up in the wrong that I can’tenjoy the present.
Thanks in advance.

JudyKayTee
May 10, 2011, 05:51 AM
Where are you? I can't quite understand all of the problems.

As a side note I don't think it's "kind" or "Christian" (both words which you use to describe yourself) not to be able to forgive and to "keep wishing bad things" on your enemies.

I think you have to put this behind you and move on. Possibly that is easier said than done.

I'm not sure this shouldn't be on a religious board because I don't understand the terms you use.

SweetDee
May 10, 2011, 05:57 AM
Here it is... short and sweet. You say your life is better now that you moved and all that drama is in your past. SO MOVE ON! Choose and decide to let it go. It's in your power... you just haven't chosen it yet. DO IT! You say you're Christian and a believer in God... time to put your money where your mouth is. :) You wouldn't be the first to have to shake something off and "reboot".

snowpink
May 10, 2011, 06:22 AM
Thanks guys. Its just I feel maybe I would feel better if we all sat and talked about this as a family.

@Judy, I am in south africa. I meant that as a christian you come across such problems and thus start questioning other things.

Sorry I used south african language.



Bo makoti means sister in laws
Impilo ayisekho mnandi means- life is not okay
Thanks Sweet Dee. I needed to hear that