fleebird
May 5, 2011, 01:53 AM
My Finance (Ex now) is a meth user. I have recently broke of the engagement, relationship as a whole and had him leave our apartment. He has no one else in his life that cares, not friends (since he secluded himself with meth use) not even family (expremely disfunctional and his two brothers are also heavy users) I am scared for him, he is shooting it up with needles and has been for some time. But since I ended it, he is going in a downward spiral even more so. Here's a little history: He was using when I met him but I was so innocent and never exposed to anyone who used hard core drugs so I didn't pick up on it right away. He didn't care about appearance when we met, after he moved in with me, I noticed a drawer in a nightstand thing on our lanai screwed shut... so I got the drill gun and opened it, in there was tons of pages from porn magazines, male and female.. needles, baggies, straws etc. I confronted him and his excuse was it was his brothers stuff mixed in with his stuff when he moved... and I believed it! From then on.. more signs.. most classic... can't sleep, always busy taking stuff apart that wasn't even broken, super paranoid (accusing me of cheating etc), Money missing, nice things of mine missing, weird sex desires, sunken in face and dry mouth, porn porn and more porn, sleeping for days after staying awake for days, staying up all night cleaning and taking apart electronic equipment, extreme moodiness and irritability. I soon confronted him, and he admitted in about a year and a half into the relationship. I still believed he just "messed" up, and really wasn't addicted, and would stop eventually. I would threaten him etc. I tried every approach, threats, love, box tests to prove my instincts were correct etc etc. Almost 4 years later and an engagement later, I have now seen the light and realize how stupid I have been all these years. I realized I can not make him change, and I have to look out for myself.. im tired of the fights, of him losing jobs, of finding bloody surenges in places and porn stuff all around, tired of my stuff being ruined, tired of stuff going missing (that he obviously traded or sold for meth), tired of the lies, and just plain tired! It is exhausting living with a meth addict, and every time they shoot up you lose a piece of yourself with their actions. I became depressed, and to embaressed to talk to anyone, like I did something wrong. Anyway, its over, and I made him move out... it wasn't easy getting him out, but I did it... now that he's out... he would be homeless if it weren't for me letting him stay in a house I have already vacated that is being foreclosed on (the bank just hasn't taken possession yet). The plan was he was supposed to stay there (theres no electric there - long story) and save money for a few weeks then rent a room and get his life together. Anyway, I know he's not saving money and he is spending it all on meth. He is on a huge meth binge because I am no longer their to play mother and watch after him. I have a key to the place and went into it when he wasn't home (at work), and found the place trashed with pages ripped out of porn magazines.. you can't walk in any room without stepping on a page from a porn magazine. I am afraid he is going to OD by shooting up, or commit suicide.
My question is... how likely is this? I was the only person he had that stuck by his side, now that he ruined that, would meth mess with his brain so much to where suicide would be a real thing to worry about? I want to get him help... his medical insurance would pay for a rehab, I've texted him asking him to go, and I just get ignored. Any advise from someone that used this drug like this, or someone who's been in my shoes?
Ive already been tested for HIV (neg)... is their anything else I should worry about. This has been a part of his life for years now. Hes 41. Hes also a heavy vodka drinker.
My question is... how likely is this? I was the only person he had that stuck by his side, now that he ruined that, would meth mess with his brain so much to where suicide would be a real thing to worry about? I want to get him help... his medical insurance would pay for a rehab, I've texted him asking him to go, and I just get ignored. Any advise from someone that used this drug like this, or someone who's been in my shoes?
Ive already been tested for HIV (neg)... is their anything else I should worry about. This has been a part of his life for years now. Hes 41. Hes also a heavy vodka drinker.