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View Full Version : Want out and don't know what to do


lightbright
Jan 24, 2007, 08:03 PM
Hi I am in love with a married man and we been together for a while and I do love him but I am tried of excuses.

ForeverZero
Jan 24, 2007, 08:10 PM
You type more of an explanation

Bluerose
Jan 24, 2007, 08:11 PM
Sweetheart, what you have to think about is this…. If he can cheat on his poor wife…. What do you think the chances are of him cheating on you?

Walking away from an unsatisfactory situation is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign of wisdom.


Take Care Of You

Support Yourself ~ You are your own best friend. You alone know what is best for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help if and when you need it. Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are wise.

Praise Yourself ~ Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things you did well, for every mistake you learned something from, for every person you did a favour for, and remember to tell yourself how well you are doing.

Forgive Yourself ~ Let go of the past. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing and you will live life differently. Forgive everyone who ever hurt or upset you - you hurt no one but yourself by holding onto this kind of baggage.

Stop All Criticism ~ Pay attention to your internal dialogue, and stop criticizing yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Review the source then try to treat other people's criticism constructively.

Give And Receive Freely ~ Giving is fun, and that includes giving to yourself. The more you give to yourself, the more you have to give to others. Giving to others comes not from a sense of sacrifice, self-righteousness, or spirituality, but from the pure pleasure of giving. Giving becomes its own reward. Remember, you can't continue to give unless you are equally willing to receive.

Start Caring ~ Some people feel uncomfortable with the term "Love Yourself". Begin by caring about yourself and the world you live in. Start caring about what you want out of life, love and relationships. Begin now to care about yourself and everyone else in your life. Caring about yourself and others isn't a pain-free occupation, but you will be cultivating a positive, loving, caring relationship with yourself.

Be Gentle, Kind and Patient - Especially With Yourself ~ My well-being comes before your well-being from where I stand, and your well-being comes before my well-being from where you stand. And that's as it should be. We can't presume to take care of anyone until we can take care of ourselves. Thinking about what makes us happy and comfortable is not selfishness, it's self-awareness. When we are happy others benefit also.

Deal Positively With Negative Thoughts And Feelings ~ Negative thoughts are not bad, they're simply telling us about something that needs our attention. Our job is to discover what needs to be done and take care of it. Many people fail to see a negative occurrence as a learning experience and continue to feel victimised and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves, however unaware of that fact they may be.

Take Care Of Your Body ~ The most effective healing system is in the body itself, but it will only work properly when we allow it to do so. We restrict its power to heal itself by worrying and getting over anxious about everything that 'might' go wrong in our lives. If you have a serious problem and there seems to be no answer in sight, it could be that your emotions are getting in the way and that you are working against yourself; perhaps you have the answer but you are too upset to realise it. In that case, it may be more effective and appropriate to work first on your feelings and emotions.

missb
Jan 24, 2007, 08:14 PM
I think you should leave him alone. He's married and cheating on his wife.What makes you think he is going to have any type of respect for you? Even if he eventually leaves his wife, what makes you think he's not going to cheat on you if he cheated on her. I don't mean to sound harsh but its best that you meet someone new and make sure their not married.

queball
Jan 24, 2007, 08:24 PM
And from a man's perspective, I agree. Leave the lousy dog and don't look back, he isn't worth worrying about. And like the rest have said "If he cheats on his wife then he'll cheat on you"

chuff
Jan 24, 2007, 08:58 PM
hi i am in love with a married man and we been together for a while and i do love him but i am tried of excuses.

He's never leaving his wife.

You're his back up plan. Your just a mistress to him. You're his side whore. You mean nothing to him. You're a toy. He doesn't love you. He never loved you. He never will love you.

The only person that stops his excuses is you. You leave and the excuses end. You stay the excuses stay.

So the choice is really up to you. If you want to continue being a homewrecker and enjoy the excuses you stay. If you want the freedom and enjoyment of real men who don't screw other women then you leave.

rol
Jan 25, 2007, 04:21 AM
Another one for Wildcat here, he says it best...

ordinaryguy
Jan 25, 2007, 06:19 AM
want out and don't no what to do
If you want out, you DO know what to do. Get out! It's a life-waster.

chippers
Jan 25, 2007, 06:41 AM
Sweetie, I think you've already answered your own question. You're tired of the excuses. You know your deserve better and worhty of a someone who respects women. A man who cheats on his wife and strings you allong does not respect women or his marrige vows. Eventhought you knew what you were getting into(if you knew he was married when you got involved withhim) if not then disregard my last sentence, you are tired of being second string and want to be someone's only love.
It'll be tough making a clean break. Asking him to leave his wife will only lead to more excuses. And you don't need that. Tell him how you feel and that as a Goddess you deserve better and want more from a relationship. You deserve marriage and children if in fact you want that. Every one wants a reason or someone to come home to at the end of the day. You are no different.
End the emotional roller coaster you're on. Make a clean break and don't look back. Don't return his calls and have no contact with him. It'll hurt at first but I know you're strong enough to handle it.

Good luck

Parajr
Mar 11, 2007, 08:51 PM
You need to have a mentality that you deserve better. There are some good single men in this world. This one that you love is taken. Leave him alone. He will not be able to give you more than he is currently giving. If you can't accept that then find someone that is capable of giving you more.

talaniman
Mar 12, 2007, 04:50 AM
hi i am in love with a married man and we been together for a while and i do love him but i am tried of excuses.

Stop giving him sex and he will surely leave. That's all he was there for any way.